Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Sometimes I Feel Like a Broken Stone Rolling Down Your Hill

I was just minding my business in line at CVS, picking up an Rx. As usual, they were taking way too long. I reached over to the magazine rack and grabbed “Washingtonian.” I was flipping through and caught an article profiling some women in D.C. Something caught my eye as soon as I opened the magazine.

A woman, with a somewhat foolish version of my first name, sitting on a couch, next to a dog.

First thought: Why it is that a grown adult woman will take my name and dumb it down to something sounding like it belongs on a grade schooler?

Second thought: Hey. C moved in with a girl who allegedly shares my first name, and uses this childish version as her name. Funny that there are two of them running around.

Third thought: Someone told me this woman has a dog of the same breed sitting here in this very picture.

Final thought: She’s sitting on a couch. I know that couch. It’s the couch he and I had sex on, many many times. And here it is. In Washingtonian Magazine. I looked at that picture for a very long time. Why her? Why her and not me?

Too bad I was very much in love with him, otherwise this may bother me much less than it does right now.


  1. KassyK

    I’m sorry sweetie. It’s like when I found out my first love was engaged. Its just a big smack. I know you are not with him for a reason and that it is the right thing but I know that doesn’t make it hurt any less. XO

  2. playfulinnc

    I saw a my ex with a woman well into the “Lane Bryant won’t fit you” size pants and momentarily wanted to put a fork in my eye.

    See, it’s funny ’cause I said a fork, and she was…

    Ok, so in my first therapy sessions, I had to come to terms with the fact that some people don’t love me. Some people don’t even like me. It’s not my fault. Them’s the breaks.

    Nor is it yours, my friend.

  3. Siryn

    Sometimes it’s just that way. Sorry, honey.

    Don’t forget, however, the image of her you had in real life, and the feeling you had at that time – you did dodge a bullet. Just because she ended up in Washingtonian for whatever reason doesn’t mean anything.

    It is the past, and if you are happier moving forward in your situation now, take some comfort in it.

  4. circumlocutor

    So there’s another woman in DC named Velvet? No, but seriously, who cares if she’s in Washingtonian? If you can thing of 10 reasons that ‘The Washingtonian’ isn’t a rag, I’ll give you a quarter. She might as well have been in the local coupon clipper. Yuck. Her five minutes of happiness on the sofa will be over before we brush our teeth in the morning.

    An ex of mine was an editor at ‘W’ magazine… a prime position for fashionistas (I’ll leave the details out to spare him/me). Anyhoo, I sort of tracked him for a while, and I’d see pics of him with his new loves in other mags. One night, a year of so ago, I saw him at an East Village Bar. Sitting alone. Looking miserable. We talked and I realized how wretched his life is. I couldn’t have been happier.

  5. marie

    I had to do a search in your site because, even though I’ve seen him mentioned before, I didn’t really know the whole story.
    Now I get why you were so upset. It’s always going to be hard to hear about “the one that got away” and how his life is going.. Even worse if he’s with someone else.. and then to see her smiling in a magazine.. in that couch that brings memories back.. Ugh!
    I’m sorry honey.

  6. freckledk

    That sucks. I’m sorry. Be it timing, compatibility, or a host of different reasons – it still doesn’t feel good when someone who couldn’t be happy with you finds happiness with someone else.

  7. Chico's Bail Bonds

    Sorry that you had to see that at such a weird time in your own life. Maybe it’s the Big Guy’s way of saying, “Try hard with this one?”

    Does it make you feel better to know that your DNA was pictured in Washingtonian?

  8. Tacoma!

    Could you tell if she was airbrushed like crazy? Magazines do that– she might be a three toed sloth in real life.
    Another thing to be gratefull has never happened to me. Thank you Velvet. (knock on wood)

  9. AussieEm

    CVS? Rx? Washingtonian? I’m a little confused, but understand the feelings behind this post if not all the nouns.

    Dont let it get you down. Personally, from what youve written about his girl (if it’s the same one that I’m remembering from the archives) you wouldnt want to be her anyway. Youre much more classy. Focus on that. 🙂

  10. Not So Little Woman

    Blah. There are always moments like that when it comes to the exes. But then I always remember THERE IS A REASON why we are not with them anymore. If they dumped us, the f*ck em, and better alone than with someone who doesn’t really love us or want to be with us. If we dumped them, we had our reasons and mostly, if those reasons were a voice in our heads just saying…. no, this isn’t a right fit and you know it… then it’s ok they are not there. I can’t remember the details of yur relationship with the U Street Metrosexual, but I think that you may not be in the picture, Velvet, but you also aren’t in all the bad stuff and sadness that that relationship may have brought you.
    Look at you now. You have a man who loves you and whom you love and a relationship that you are both willing to fight for. That’s sooo much more than a picture in a magazine!

  11. la whisky

    My initial thought was to post a very irreverent comment. Better sense took a hold of my inner imp and choked it till the imp passed out.

    I need to go out and get myself a Washingtonian (a local magazine for AussieEm) at the local CVS (a drugstore chain) when I get my next Rx (prescription) refilled. Now, I need to get back to being a smartass.

  12. AussieEm

    haha Thanks la whisky. Velv kindly provided me with a translation earlier, but its good to see that she wasnt trying to trick me into making an ass of myself (if I ever make it to the states) by teaching me the wrong meanings! 😉

    FYI, in aussie that sentence would read:

    I need to go out and get myself a CityNews (a local magazine for la whisky) at the local Soul Pattinson Chemist (a pharmacy chain) when I get my next script (prescription) refilled.

  13. Velvet

    HA! Aussie Em cracks me up. I love the Aussie translation. Would your “best mate” accompany you to the Soul Pattinson Chemist?

    Whisky – We need to get back to being smart asses together.

    NSLW – I know there are bad parts to that relationship too, and I was just discussing with someone who knows him that if perhaps I really did have the chance to pursue that, I would find he isn’t my type at all. Funny how that works though.

    Tacoma! – I like that I can provide you a blog of misery (and bar sex) and it makes you feel better! HA!

    Chico’s Bail Bonds – My fucked up sense of humor can’t stop laughing at the couch.

    FreckledK – Sigh. At least she isn’t younger than me. Like I need THAT insecurity running around. She is, interestingly enough, a Republican (by my amateur Google search) and he’s a staunch liberal, so, um…that’s interesting.

    Marie – I loved him. And I have no idea why. But he was my “be all end all” guy I’d give it all up for. I even though today while driving home that if he and I got back together, I would give up the blog if he asked me to. Odd that I can’t seem to do that now though.

    Circ – Surprisingly she was one of Washingtonian’s “Best Dressed.” Considering my earlier post of spotting her was when she was wearing acid washed jeans and mall bangs, I’m stumped for what they consider “best dressed” around here.

    Siryn – But, oh, the grass and that greener thing…

    Playful – HA! Fork! I love it!

    KK – Ugh, if I find out they are engaged, well, no more South Beach diet for me because I’ll vomit off the last 10 lbs.

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