Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

This Big Dog Will Fight When You Rattle Its Cage

All:

I’ve gotten your emails, but I’m going to stop answering. It was too much and I have this thing called a job. Basically, I am taking my private life back private. The emails saying that you live in “faraway place” and work for “whoever” and don’t know any of the people in question really do not matter. If I don’t know you, you could be a friend of someone I just don’t need reading anymore. If I don’t have some sort of history with you, or know that you won’t violate my trust, I can’t give out the password. Think about it from my perspective: 40 of you comment a day. But you know how many of you read? 700. That means I have no idea who 660 of you are. And frankly, I don’t care about the stats at all. I’m not trying to get famous. I’m trying to live my life.

You may be longtime readers, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard of your existence. Consider it an unfortunate reprecussion of being a lurker all these months.

Right now it’s just a few close friends, much like it was in the early days of Velvet. More like a chat room than anything like the train wreck it has become.

49 Comments

  1. Brunch Bird

    Sorry I didn’t get the chance to chat with you the other night. But the cookies looked delicious! Best of luck to you and I hope that reclaiming the blog brings the fun of it back for you.

  2. Rachel

    Don’t worry about it. I can totally understand you wanting to protect your privacy.
    Will you still be posting your non-personal stuff publicly?

  3. E :)

    I totally understand your point of view. What has happened to you is freaky.

    The cookies were delicious the other night and it was great to meet you. Best of luck.

  4. K

    Oh well, it was fun reading your stuff. I completely understand. I was actually about to request access myself, but I won’t. It is true you don’t know me from Adam and I read way more than I comment. Plus I don’t have a public blog to reciprocate with.

    Good luck with everything and hopefully I will see you write another less-persanally-intrusive blog (hopefully about real estate, something like curbed.com, because I know you have a lot of insight).

  5. Living in Dupont

    I do hope that things stay so well for you, and hopefully we’ll still get to do the field trip? Irish Red and I do need the tour guides after all, and the wisdom of the Porn Fairy is irriplacable in an instance like this!

    Keep in touch, even if only to pop over and say hi at The View sometime… and if not, I’ll see you at the HH’s 🙂

    (by the way, my first? So much fun, and non-blogger guy was a complete sweetheart, walked me home, kissed me goodnight, and called the next day to ask me out sometime – thanks for the encouragement on that one!)

  6. Velvet

    Brunch Bird – Good lord. How did I miss you the other night? Damn! I’m sorry!!

    Rachel – Yeah, that seems to make the most sense. Otherwise I’d just take the blog down and restart elsewhere, new audience, totally anon this time. I’m afraid I’ve made a fatal error. Again. Because I clearly haven’t learned from mistakes.

    E – Great to meet you too!

    K – Thanks.

  7. Rachelle

    So sorry it’s come to this. It was fun reading though! Good luck in your relationship and I hope you’ll still post non-personal entries for us to enjoy…

    And damn that travelgirl bitch for ruining everything!!

  8. amester4

    SO sorry it has come to this! I have to say I am still clueless about most of what’s going on but I did love reading, if you open it up to friends of friends (KK) put me on the list girl! Take care of yourself.

  9. Pagan Marbury

    I am one of the 660. I rarely comment but I really enjoy your blog. I’m sorry you are taking it behind closed doors. You will be missed.

  10. elvis

    Concur. There’s alot of good stuff in your life; stuff that only you and Sherlock should know about.

  11. Big Tone

    Having privacy is the most important thing and your readers completely understand that. However, if you ever beat the crap out of the fake girl, please post something about it. That would make my day. Also, the DC cops suck ass series needs to continue.

    Good luck 🙂

  12. jcd

    I’m another of the 660, though I’ve also made a few comments. I enjoyed reading your blog, but understand your decision to take it private. Best of luck.

  13. Nicky

    Hi. One of the 660 here. Have fun, best wishes, etc. I was thinking about emailing to request access but realized there’s no way to prove a negative: not a stalker, not a friend of the nutty person. No reason you should open up to me any longer.

    I have two blogs, a private one and one that’s connected to my real life and job and name. It’s really confusing and hard to track both of them, and sometimes it’s hard to sort out what to post on which one. I wish we lived in a world where speaking frankly about the “riskier” stuff of life — sex, drugs, rants about moments of anger or frustration — didn’t threaten our reputation and relationships in the real world.

    You’re a terrific writer and a brave person; it’s been great to read what you’ve shared. I think one of the best things about the blog world is getting access to the details of the lives of people who aren’t the same as us. I dish with a few of my girlfriends but suddenly the blog world lets me get a daily view into the private world of people who lead really different lives, and lets me share stuff I don’t always feel like talking about to people who might judge me. I love that, and I think you’ve been generous with your life so far. It stinks that it’s gotten you in trouble. I’ll be rooting for you from my corner of the world.

  14. playfulinnc

    Smart, smart move. Life continues, and is juicier (I am sure) than the few times we get to look in.
    🙂

  15. JohnnyDC

    Is the password bukkake?

    ;P

  16. Buttercup

    I *completely* understand – good luck, and take care of you!

  17. Needtsza

    Nice! I’m just a lurker now. 😉

  18. Velvet

    Buttercup – Having been there yourself, and you lost your whole blog, yeah. I know you get it.

    Johnny – yes. The password is bukkake. That was so smarty pants of you.

    Playful – See you on the other side honey.

    Nicky – Thank you. That was really nice. It’s the readers like you who delurk now that make me sad I have to do this. But it’s an unfortunate necessity.

    JCD – I remember your comments, and thank you, it was actually an easy decision when faced with just yanking the blog entirely and re-emerging as another personality.

    Big Tone – While a bar brawl is in my nature, I have no desire to get into one unless provoked. Hence the title of this post. But, the cop series will continue as public posts. Even having my life threatened over that doesn’t seem to stop me…

    Elvis – Thanks

    Pagan – Other than you keeping your anonymity, you are not as much a stranger to me as the many many others. I can verify your existence (in the online sense.) There are people from all over the world who are emailing me, who have no blog, who have never commented, who now want the password. I’m not saying that every single reader needed to comment or forge some sort of relationship, but now that they want the password, it would have helped. I have a handful of people who have been readers for a long time. Never met them. No blog. And I know their agenda is just to read and comment. I know that there’s no way they would feign this friendship for a year+ just for this password day to come and for them to get the password and give it out to others.

    Amester – I will keep that in mind! Last time I had trouble and started a “secret” blog – I had 10 randoms I didn’t know reading it. It was really funny. All new commenters, all new blog. Really strange.

    Rachelle – Um…I’m…speechless.

    Living in Dupont – We’re trying to plan a sex toy party…I will DEFINITELY keep you girls on that invite list.

  19. PalacePool

    Velvet,

    I will miss reading your posts, simply put they are the best on the web. They are great because they are honest, well written and go deep down into the places that most people arent willing to talk about. Wish you the best of luck. If you have good cop stories or other content, please let me know. I would still like to link to you from my less popular blog.

    Bonne Chance

  20. stelawho

    I’ll miss reading about your adventures – thanks for sharing as much as you did – maybe you’ll write when you come back to Phx…

  21. Velvet

    Stelawho – Huh. My Phoenix adventures were the best! I have a story I should post about when I was there… it’s a good one…

    Palace Pool – Wow. Thank you. I expect to be back. Just time to clean some people out of here. And I expect to always have good cop stories. They are a barrel of material. Link away. I’ll do the same.

  22. Scarlet

    sex toy party??

    I want pheromones. Haha!

  23. Laura

    I’ll miss reading but totally get why you want your privacy. In my earier postings I didn’t volunteer that I have a blog myself (mostly because it’s not all that fascinating to people who aren’t my family and friends — it’s more of a: what-is-Laura-up-to-lately-around-the-world-kind-of-thing). I don’t go too personal in my postings, and I’m fascinated by people who are free enough to write (even if mostly anonymously) about their truest feelings and experiences. There is something liberating about putting it out there. So, Velvet, go in peace and enjoy life out of the fishbowl. Good luck, Laura

  24. CK

    I understand your want for privacy..but d*mn it, I wish you didn’t have to do this!!! I’ve been one of those silent lurkers for almost a year now…loving your blog. I’m going to miss your blog and well, best of luck with Sherlock and everything else in your life. Pat the doggies for me.
    best regards, CK

  25. Amanda

    I’m one of those who emailed you just wanting to make sure you were okay. I know what you need to do in order to become less stressful, but of course the little selfish part of me is decrying what seems to be this blog’s personal demise. It’s SO HARD to find a poignant, well-written blog that is updated with any regularity. Plus, I totally admire you, especially for learning how to ride a motorcycle. That’s one of my goals. Do they make bikes for itty bitty girls that are like 5’3″ and 105 pounds? Just sayin’.

    Anyway, we’ll miss you 🙁 But much luck, and hugs to Sammy and Thora.

  26. Needtsza

    my friend in NY has sex toy parties. sells them and all, if you need a reference/place to purchase, etc etc

  27. jordanbaker

    Well poop.

    This is like that time in grade school, when Tiffani with an i stabbed Tiffany with a y in the arm with the left handed scissors, and then they cancelled art for the whole third grade. Once again, one nutcase spoils things for everybody.

  28. Luck O' the Irish

    Totally understand. Hell, I have a hard enough time trying to remember not to go and get “dooced” on my site re: work! I can only imagine trying to live and be happy and also deal with someone who has sabotage on the brain.

    It’s been great to read your prior entries and I wish you nothing but the best in life and love. Take care of yourself and have fun!

    Best,
    Luck

  29. NR

    Boy all these comments are such downers. I know everyone will miss V, but lets liven the mood a bit.

    How about a funny word? Spanktacular! That’s my effort. Who will carry the torch from here?

  30. Glitterati

    I get it. It’s frustrating, but the teeny tiny frustration one feels as a reader cannot compare to the insanity in which publicizing the very private details of your life has unfortunately resulted. Good luck Velvet, hope you keep getting the happiness & love that you deserve.

    NR: Umm…. cocktoberfest! (Not mine, that one’s courtesy of The Boy. Brilliant, no?)

  31. AussieEm

    NR, How about fragtastic? My mate coined that one the other day.

    Oh, and just in case you dont use frag in the US it means the same as f***buddy.

    FRAG = FRiends who shAG

  32. DC Sports Chick

    Damn. Sorry about the nutjob. It sucks that you had to do that.

  33. Dara

    Man, the worst stuff always happens when I’m on vacation.

    I totally agree with JordanBaker — one stupid person ruining all the fun for the rest of us!

  34. Rosie

    If you feel comfortable letting me have the password, I’d love to go on reading you… I didn’t realise that one could “apply”, otherwise I would have done so earlier. I have been reading for a while now, and am very fond of you… but if you want to restrict it to people who have more ID… I understand. I do have what I call a boyblog but it’s not public, and it’s full of crap – not at all entertaining.

  35. luck o' the irish

    Velvet – I just realized my comment sounded like I was leaving yer blog for good! Not the case…I’ll still be back to check out your public posts and commiserate about DC Cops. Or is that “cops”? :o)

    How about Jack-Dip? JackA** and DipSh*t all rolled into one!

  36. jkc

    “Jack-Dip”? Ahem. Next.

    Anyway. twas fun readin’ you while it lasted, Velvet.

  37. Phil

    Booo!! This is what the terrorists want you to do!

  38. oi (lately)

    damn it. not too make too light of it all, but your blog just isn’t as interesting when you are seeing one guy as when you are… being velvet(?)… something like that anyway.
    and cyber-stalking is soooo 1999…

    but! you were always funny, and motorcycle sex is really neat. i’ll miss this blog. i’ve been a regular reader for quite a while, and as much as i like the bashing of d.c. po-po, that’s not what i come here for. maybe i’ll check in now and again to see if yer up to yer usual. don’t break up with sherlock just to make me happy… and remember that i always defended him, even during the “fuck you, sherlock” days.

    velvet in dupont ain’t the velvet n sherlock show though, so there’s no HUUUGE loss here. just a small one.

    rambling out. somebody died.

  39. Velvet

    oi – EXACTLY. Look what you just wrote. “your blog isn’t as interesting when you are seeing one guy as when you are being Velvet…” I’m not trying to be interesting and entertain. I think you miss the point. I don’t live my life for your entertainment. But these comments are definitely enlightening. I’m pissed off at you people who never said a fucking word for the last year and a half and now are coming out of the woodwork wanting passwords and more of this blog. It’s bullshit you know…total bullshit. And it makes me realize that perhaps this blog really is done to the public. Because a couple close friends who genuinely care about me having a GREAT conversation in the comments is way better than the alternative.

    Or maybe it’s just the rain talking.

  40. oi (lately)

    it is the rain talking. i think you miss MY point. maybe you should re-read. your blog is most certainly not here to entertain ME. but when it does, it’s FAR more interesting than when it doesn’t. that is just the way it is, velvet. we all know that. you, most certaintly, know that.

    that’s why when you decide to go private, it’s no huge loss to most of us. your life is just like our lives now. you are dating a guy, have your problems with your job, etc. obviously, those of us who are coming here for the old “velvet in dupont” are going to be disappointed by what “velvet in dupont” is nowadays. where’s the soap? the excessive drama? it’s gone.

    when your life, necessarily, becomes less “private” in nature (e.g.-when you don’t care if the guy you just dated would care if the date you just had became public,) then the old, ridiculous velvet will return. for now, it just seems like spying on someone’s private life, which was never the point of this blog.

    so go private. it’s the way it should be.

    (and i said plenty of words over the past couple of months. i just change the name all the time because i have no clue what name i used last time. the email, i think, remains the same.)

  41. Amanda

    Wow…that’s kinda bitchy, don’t you think? I’m sorry you are miserable. 🙁 I’ll be sure to take this uninteresting blog off my list now.

  42. Velvet

    Good. Take a few hundred voyeurs who only want the password from me and don’t contribute anything to this blog, with you. Thanks.

  43. em

    I just wanted to say I have read you blog with interest for a long time, and told various friends across the country they should check it out. I agree with you that it is bullshit for “lurkers” to come out of the woodwork now asking for your password, and as soon as I saw you were going that route I just accepted…but I hope you are not really pissed about people who read your blog without commenting. The DC blog scene is very close-knit and a bit intimidating. I commented on a couple blogs with no response, which was fine. I always thought commenting was more intrusive than reading, that taking an action like that assumes an intimacy or at least a working knowledge of who you are. And I never thought that just from reading your blog, I knew who you were. Which, in my opinion, is good.

    I consider blogs such as yours, i.e. updated often, wonderfully written, insightful, personal etc, as a modern form of serial fiction. Dickens-esque, if you will excuse the seeminly pretentious comparison. (Cultural and Anthropological Literature Major here) Not to say your life is fiction, just an example, a way of showing that just living, talking about simply LIFE is enough to touch people, to connect with them. Anyway, I wanted to try to counter the negativity. I recommend a shot or two of rum to offset the rain.

    Good luck! Sorry about the novella. Rum has that effect also.

  44. Alejandra

    Good for you taking back what is yours!! I’ve had a few experiences with the real life meets blogger life lately and I know how creepy it can sometimes be. You’ve always been very encouraging on my blog and I just wish the same for you. I will definitely continue to drop by to read your public posts. Take care… Best of luck, Velvet!

  45. Velvet

    Em – I’m not pissed that people read without commenting. That’s the nature of the beast. BUT, what I am pissed about is that all these people I don’t know from anyone else are emailing asking for the password. There are several people who have no blog, yet have commented on mine, emailed me, etc. and I know they are not just some phantom fake person created by one of the people I don’t want reading the blog to see if they can pry me into giving it out. Imagine if I went to all this trouble to block one crazy bitch from reading and she creates a fake email and “convinces” me to unzip my lips? How stupid would I be??

    While we might be a tight knit community, I don’t actually know a lot of the commenters on my blog. And I’ve said several times, the opinion of an unbiased stranger is usually more dead on than that of a friend who doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.

    Not commenting just means that when this time came, those who had no identity, now have no blog to read. Fortunately for me, I own this domain name as well as space on a server. I can do what I wish. It’s unfortunate for the folks on blogger, who can’t control readership. But that’s why I left blogger entirely.

    Alejandra – Thank you, and good luck with your move. Will you stay in touch??

  46. em

    Well good luck, I hope things calm down for you. Breathe deep seek peace and all that jazz. Seems like you have a lot of people getting your back.

  47. BC

    I’ve been reading this over the past few days, but I just wanted to come in late and wish you luck. I’m going to leave your link from my blog up for now, though I think that the responses you’ve received from this post probably prove, if nothing else, that you’ve made a decision that is probably for the best – though I will miss reading.

    I enjoy blogging (though I haven’t done it enough lately for my own reasons), but I very quickly caught on to the politics of it all. Since it is a whole medium that was created out of celebration for self-disclosure, I am increasingly interested and frustrated by the fact that it often leads to the opposite. I find myself both pandering to a reader base that knows me, but also censoring myself as well.

    But now I’m off pontificating on a tangent.

    Alas, take care of yourself. Happy private blogging.

  48. Mojo

    I get so happy whenever I read a post that mentions Thora. I’d leave a comment but I don’t have thumbs…or fingers for that matter. In fact, I had to have my Dad write this for me. Weren’t you supposed to come visit me in AZ? Oh well, tell Thora I miss her and maybe send us your password. I’m going to hump my dog puppet now.

    Monkey Man

  49. Juju Bean

    I’m so sad it has come to this, Velvet. You’ve shown so much courage and strength in this blog, and have really inspired me over the past several months that I’ve been reading. You’ve got quite a set of cojones, and I’ve enjoyed reading and lurking! I wish you well in your life, and hope that crazy bitches everywhere get what they deserve eventually.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2024 Velvet in Dupont

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑