My day starts off with a nice walk to the Fed Ex service center downtown with Sammy (the love of my life.) On my leisurly walk, the Harley dealer calls. They want me to get the bike out of there. So, I call my savior of the day, MotorcycleInstructor. He says he’ll call back in 5 minutes. And he does. When he calls back, he says, “Let’s go now.”

So I hustle home, drop Sammy off, and haul ass up to Gaithersburg. I meet MotorcycleInstructor there and this guy starts talking to me while MotorcycleInstructor is getting his helmet out of his car. Then he comes over to us and the guy goes, “Is this your husband?” I about died. I said, “No, thank God.” Shit, I should have said yes just to see what he would have done. So, he rides the bike back to D.C. to the inspection station. The line is out of control long, three blocks long, so we decide to leave and come back “another time.” We come back to my apartment and I make him a pizza and I eat a Zone bar. At this point, my brother calls and is asking questions about scooters and I end up just putting him on the phone with MotorcycleInstructor. While he’s talking to my brother, the dogs are sniffing for pizza and MotorcycleInstructor is like, “Get off my nuts! Damn!” I’m like, bright red at this point and I said, “Tell my BROTHER that you were not talking to me!!” So he clears that up.

Then MotorcycleInstructor and I leave and go back to Gaithersburg, but not before locking the bike up in the garage and him saying I need all this stuff and a different cover and a lock and he will get it all for me. So I stop at the bank and give him money and we go to the other cycle shop and he buys all the stuff for me at a massive discount. Then we go to Home Depot to buy a cable and locks. That mofo saved me so much money. I never would have thought to do that. By this time it’s about 7:00 and I’m totally wore out. We go to another dealer, look at choppers, then back to Harley so he can get his car. We say bye there and he says to call him later and we’ll do the inspection in the morning. I said, “What should I tell them here when I want to return the cover that I bought?” He says, “Tell them you didn’t know but your boyfriend bought you all this stuff already and you don’t need what you bought.” Uh. Boyfriend. Oh.

So I get home and my first order of business is to get some real food in my stomach. I grill some fish and plan to go out to the garage to tie up the bike and take care of that stuff. MotorcycleInstructor calls and asks if I had any problems. I said, “I’m headed out there now.” He goes, “You haven’t done it yet?” I said no because I had to come home, lean on the neighbors to watch Sammy (the love of my life) while I cook and run back out and that I’m doing it now. He says, “Do you know what you’re doing?” I said that I would figure it out and if I had any problems I would call him. He said, “Do you want me to just come there and do it for you?” I said he didn’t have to. He said he would be here in 10 minutes.

That man came back here and covered the bike, locked it, showed me everything, and met BestGuyFriend-M who came by to see the bike too. Then he left at 10:30 and he’s coming back here at 5 a.m. to take me to the inspection station, even though I said I could manage that part without freaking out. What the hell is going on right now?