Not a lot to report in the past few days. Had the party Saturday. I think it went off quite well. I spent all day Saturday cleaning for the party, and all day Sunday cleaning up after the party, but it was an eventful and fun weekend nonetheless.
Thursday night I heard empty promises from MotorcycleInstructor about us spending the day together Friday. Then it unraveled in much the same manner it always does…”Oh, I have one thing to do, then I’ll call you.” One thing turns into two and next thing you know, it’s the end of the day and I haven’t heard a thing. More of the same promises Friday night and I finally said that I was having a “get-together” on Saturday and asked if he was going to come by. He said yes. Then I don’t hear from him all day Saturday except for a few text messages that I initiated. Saturday evening I asked if he was coming and he said “maybe” and that’s all I heard. So at 4:30 a.m., drunk on many Blue Hawaiians, I sent him a text message that said, “I get it. You don’t even try to spend any time with me despite your promises. I’m done with this shit.” And at 6:30 a.m. he wrote back, “You’ve been drinking?” I didn’t answer. Nor did I answer his phone call and voicemail at 2:00 this afternoon. Do we all remember the advice of my boss with respect to land deals? “If they’re not talking to you, they are making a deal with someone else.”
I think I’m done. I figure if I’m going to spend any time with a man, then he better try, all the time, consistently. Not up and down. Not only when he senses me inching away. Not only when he thinks I don’t need him anymore. Not only when he thinks he’s needed. It goes without saying that each person in any relationship, whether it’s a friendship, family member, or significant other, has to derive something from the union. Now, (Sara, pay attention) only when you stop getting what you need or want from it, and only when it stops being a two way street can you call the game over. For me, there’s no one who is immune to this simple equation, family included. I’ve been through so much with my family and we repaired the relationship despite the fact that it looked like we may never speak again. They only got a second chance with me because they are my parents. But, if they ever treat me again the way they have in the past, I can say goodbye and never look back.
Back to the situation at hand, ladies and gentlemen, I think this game with MotorcycleInstructor is over. At the very least, I’m certainly done playing. It’s just not fun anymore.