Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Playing A Fools Game, Hoping To Win

All right. D.C. MUST have missed me because it’s been 24 hours that I’ve been back and I’ve had some seriously funny shit happen to me.

On my way home from a meeting in Baltimore, I was checking voicemail. The car dealership called me to schedule my service since the parts were in. I committed the number to memory and went to dial right away. Apparently it was wrong because I hear “This is Eric.” I said, “Oh, this isn’t what I thought it was.” He said, “What?” I said, “Sorry, wrong number, I thought I was calling my car service shop.” Then it plays out like this:

Eric: “Well, you want me to look up their number?”
Velvet: “No, I couldn’t possibly ask that of you. Sorry for bothering you Eric.”
Eric: “How did you know my name?”
Velvet: “Because you said ‘This is Eric’ when you answered. Try to keep up, okay?”
Eric: “You are too funny. What kind of car do you have?”
Velvet: “A (we don’t need to go here, do we, Velvet likes to be anon.)”
Eric: “Ooh, I’ll take that.”
Velvet: “It’s a piece of crap Eric, you know I was trying to call the dealer to get it fixed but you answered the phone instead of them.”
Eric: “Right, let me get that number for you.”
(Eric gives me the number.)
Velvet: “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.”
Eric: “So what are you doing?”
Velvet: “Driving home from a meeting in Baltimore.”
Eric: “What kind of work do you do?”
Velvet: “I work for a builder.”
Eric: “I’m a developer. Wow. I don’t believe in coincidences. This is weird.”
Velvet: “Neither do I! Is your favorite book the Celestine Prophecy too?”
Eric: “Nope, It used to be. Now I like the Bible.”
Velvet: “Oh Christ, we can never date Eric. I’m an atheist.”
Eric: “Oh. Well, want to get a cup of coffee anyway?”
Velvet: “What? Is this really happening? Am I getting a date out of a wrong number?”
Eric: “Not a date per se, but I’m curious. This sort of thing doesn’t happen.”

Ok, I was on the phone with Eric for 18 minutes. Why is my life this crazy? It is so funny that I’ve really concentrated on opening myself up to all sorts of things and instead of saying “Wrong number” and hanging up, I’ve now met someone who wants to meet for coffee.

Even funnier is that tonight was the Blogger meetup in Adam’s Morgan. I cringe to tell you all this since most of you will know EXACTLY who I am talking about as I tell this story. I got there at 7:00, but no one was there. (Damn you Kristin!) I decided to go home and walk my dogs. I went back up there at 8:30 and sat at the bar talking with non-bloggers. I didn’t know any of the bloggers who arrived, and I was feeling lazy so I just stayed at the bar. The bloggers were outside on the patio. I don’t really know that this story needs details. Let’s just say that I swapped spit with someone there. So, HA HA! That will teach all of you to not show up again.

Laughing my ASS off over here…


  1. Sub Girl

    that’s a great story. like something out of a movie.

  2. I-66

    yeah, I think there was kidnapping and murder in it.

    word ver: “hdbmmcex” = had to be mmmm sex

  3. Kristin

    I am sooooo sorry. I saw that organizer man canceled and I walked to the corner and missed the bus, so I just went to the other blogger happy hour, which was metro accessible and wouldn’t require driving as I got into an accident after the last blogger happy hour.

    Read: I am a giant LOSER.

    Can’t wait to hear more about Eric, the wrong number date, though.

  4. Kristin

    Oh, and I totally didn’t swap spit with anyone, so I think you had a better night.

  5. Johnny

    its against the laws of blogdom to have blog events on the same night… especially when LOST is on.

    so where is the posting, or… who was allegedly/supposed to be.. there?

  6. DC Cookie

    I think I’m sensing that the blog HH hosts need to merge efforts.

  7. Velvet

    I haven’t heard from my wrong number date, Eric. That’s fine with me, and yes I-66, I would probably be murdered.

    We should merge happy hours. But I don’t know who the other hosts are. I-66, you seem to be in on that.

  8. Johnny

    kristin fess up! we totally did the metro molesting and then back at her hacienda, she wailed like a junior congressman who got his airport renaming bill denied. but she’ll probably just pull an ollie north.


  9. KOB

    Velvelt, sorry i wasn’t there. Stuck at an airport, so apologize for the confusion at the meeting. Like this post.

  10. I-66

    It was a 4-person effort, Velvet… here it was.. there are also some saWEET recaps floating around..

  11. Paulo

    Paulo loves you.


  12. Velvet

    Paulo, I love you too.

  13. Velvet

    KOB – it’s okay. As you read, I kept myself busy.

  14. Johnny

    so have u brushed up on your bible so u can go on a date with eric…

    maybe he’ll take u to church and yalls can pray together!!! oh fun!

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