Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

All The Lights That Lead Us There Are Blinding

I’m really jumping in it today, so brace yourselves. Here are two pieces of information you will need as a prelude to what is to come:

  1. It’s no secret that I’m in love with a man who is no longer a part of my life, never knew how I felt, has moved on, and yet, I can’t get him out of my head.
  2. I feel incredible anxiety in my life about many things, and I can’t always coax myself past what I’m anxious about. Just last night, for instance, I had a dream that my neighbor and I were sitting on my balcony and Sammy (one of the true loves of my life) heard a dog barking down on the street below. Instead of doing his usual jumping up on the chair and looking down at the street, he actually jumped off the balcony. It happened in slo-mo in my dream, and I screamed a blood curdling scream, then woke up with a jolt out of bed. The anxiety of something happening to my dogs is one of my constant demons.

Because of number 2 above, I started going to a social worker / therapist, whatever you would call it, about a year and a half ago. She has been incredible in helping me realize how destructive this anxiety is and is helping me not fixate on it. Well, she tries. Unfortunately I can’t accomplish this, truly, without an anti-anxiety medicine. I’m very against medicines-for-life because I can’t shake that feeling of wanting to be normal without them. I fill the prescriptions, but I never take them. Last night’s dream is another indicator that a life without some sort of anti-anxiety med might not be possible.

Anyway, in the course of my seeing the therapist, she harped on issue number 1 and me not being in the dating world. This was about a year ago. She told me to stop pining for a man who may not even be what I built him up to in my head, to stop comparing everyone to him, and to “get out there.” And with that, I followed her advice. Well, the “get out there part” anyway.

So I did the only things I could think of to immediately jump into the dating world. This included going online (UGH!) and joining It’s Just Lunch (Double UGH!) In the course of these hellacious experiences, people suggested I start writing them down, as some of the stories were too priceless to not share. With that, I created Velvet in Dupont. At the time, it was just an outlet for me and my friends to enjoy. The sheer joy and feeling of accomplishment that comes from writing was and is its own reward.


  1. Gary Freedman

    We have something in common. I have an imaginary friend, a man who has never been a part of my life.

  2. Velvet

    What? He’s very real. I dated him for about 8 months.

  3. Jamy

    Honored to be considered a friend. Meeting new people is a wonderful and unexpected side-benefit of blogging. Who knew?

  4. AsianMistress

    Wheee love ya too!

  5. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    I’m happy we got to know each other, too. 🙂

    Smooches (HA!),

  6. KOB

    Very good to see you again. When you wrote, “unexpected things have come as a result” — it’s really true.

  7. Jo

    I totally need to move to DC.

  8. I-66

    I must say that I didn’t forsee things such as the happy hours and other social gatherings in my future at the beginning of my blogging. However, now that I know, I wonder what the hell I was ever waiting for to start blogging in the first place

  9. Kristin

    I never expected a blogging community – I’m so glad we have one. I have definitely enjoyed meeting you and reading your blog. Crazy way to get to know people, but I like it.

  10. Johnny

    Its been known to happen. People get under your skin. Into the blood. Its chemical. And it takes years to get past it.

    Hope you find your peace, gurl.

  11. Sharkbait

    You are so sweet and you deserve to be surrounded by good positive people.

    I appreciate you too!!

    The only words I can think of to add are very cliche, but it does get better.

    Heart you!!

  12. Sub Girl

    and i thank you too, for being you!

  13. I-66

    unrelated note… with the “pie holes yapping” in place of “comments”, it makes me think of Christmas songs…

    …on the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 12 pie holes yapping…

  14. DC Cookie

    hell yeah! my pie hole wouldn’t STOP yapping the entire happy hour…

    My word verfication was UPVOO. My initial thought was, “Oh yeah? Well, up vous too!”

    God, I’m a dork.

  15. Velvet

    Jamy, AM, RC, KOB, I66, Kristin, Sharkie, SG, Cookie – Here’s to many more nights of Happy Hours and Drinking!

    Jo – Yes. Move here. Now!

    I66 – Is now a bad time to tell you that my dog who has a voice, (yes, I’m a nerd) has a 12 Days of Christmas Song that he sings into my brother’s answering machine every year?

    Crazy and Single Forever. That’s me.

  16. I-66

    …inspiring me to call my mother and ask how the dogs are…

  17. Johnny

    shit, yer the new it girl of the month.

    WOOO 😛

  18. Barbara

    I am a firm believer that people’s paths cross for a reason. I have made some very significant friendships over the last 2 years, one of which brought me to blogging. Part of the allure of life is that we never know just what or who is around the next bend. I will continue to follow your search for “The One”, or whatever you think of him as!

  19. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Velvet – Heh, I read your comment as “Here’s to many more Happy Hos!”


  20. Stef

    It was great to meet you at the HH. I’ve suffered from one of those “man under your skin” things for the last few years. I’m just now coming around the bend, and the thing that finally broke me from him? Anger. It may not be all about positivity and light, but by getting really pissed off I now no longer want to have anything to do with him, and I’m moving on. Worked for me… I hope you find something that works for you. In the meantime, have fun with your dogs! Fuzzy friends are the greatest.

  21. Reya Mellicker

    Velvet what an amazing post. Thank you. I just decided a few days ago that bloggers are my people, no matter how many life experiences and years separate us. We relate through the written word. It’s really distinct. Are you going to the solstice happy hour? I want to meet you.

  22. Crazy Girl City

    Speaking of happy hours, Velvet, we still need to meet up one of these fine days!

  23. Barbara

    Here’s a “high five” for being featured today! Wasn’t it a great surprise?

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