Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I’m On The Run, I’m Chasing Guys For Fun

This post is a rambling of thinking out loud, more so for me to get my Craigslist scorecard straightened out. It includes some tidbits of what various men have said to me in their emails:

CL#1: This is the man who I met last night. We’ve got good banter, intelligence, clearly doing well for himself based on where he lives and had this to say about Velvet:

  • You know what I find attractive about you? The combination of someone who is smart–and reads–but at the same time has an illegal streak, has sex in bathrooms, has a tongue ring and learned how to use it by watching porn.

(Wiping away a tear) No one has been able to sum me up in one sentence. He gets me. I could live in peace with this man, I think. By the way, he did email me today and he did express interest in seeing me again. It must have been because of the kiss. That I just realized I forgot to mention. Yes, my tongue saw a lot of activity this weekend. Actually, if we compare the two, the personal trainer and this dude, I bet my tongue saw the lowest and highest IQ’s of my dating career. I depress me. At least I ended with the high IQ.

CL#2: It’s going to be hard to differentiate them if I keep nicknaming them in this fashion. Anyway, we had a couple starts and stops on email. For a brief freak out I thought it was BoyFace based on style of writing and his choice of fake email name, but I was wrong. He sent me a picture in a group of people. I scanned the picture, saw one really hot guy and saw that the rest were all basically average. Then I referred back to his text and it would seem that he is, in fact, the really hot one. Did anyone hear the slot machine go: Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding. Also, his first email to me included a bad date story from a girl he met on Craigslist. Again, wiping away a tear, I’m touched. It’s like he can see inside me and knows that I live for bad date stories. He just asked for my number, I complied, and we’ll see where it goes.

CL#3: I still don’t know his name, but we’ve had some interesting emails back and forth. I don’t think he’s a brain surgeon, but he’s nice, good looking, and we work in the same industry. He actually works for a competing homebuilder, so that would be hilarious. He also asked for my number today and I provided that as well.

My number is in more places than Borf.

Now for some other tidbits on men I won’t be dating. One man said to me: “You are a very strong person but empty within.” It’s an interesting statement, but I doubt after a few minutes of emailing that he could sense that. He needs to use that line on an 18 year old. She’d gush, “He gets me.” I’m much deeper than that. Apparently it takes a man to recognize my love of porn and public sex to really “get me.”

Another sent this seemingly normal email, but it included this text: As for how cool a guy I am, don’t just take my word for it, here’s what another woman said to me as she was letting me down easy: “I did have a very nice time with you, I think you are a nice, funny,intelligent, handsome and confident person; we had fun and we seem to enjoy doing similar things. And, you definitely know how to physically please a woman. . . . You were great. And it is clear that you want to be with a woman and enjoy making a woman happy.” I wrote back and said that I could have done without the reference. I mean, really.


  1. Kristin

    WTF does “You are a very strong person but empty within” mean?

  2. Sharkbait

    Just keep your eye on the positive. You’re having fun…and I am so excited!


    Very glad you are enjoying yourself and your dates have been okay with CL#1.

  3. I-66

    strong/empty within: I think it’s like a cadbury creme egg… without the creme filling inside?

    I think you should start assigning adjective-based nicknames to these folks because “CL#X” is going to get way too confusing…

  4. Sub Girl

    i concur with WTF???: “You are a very strong person but empty within”???

    did you ever see that early episode of friends where Monica is smitten with that guy from the diner who writes her a poem comparing her to an empty vase?

  5. Anonymous

    i think he meant theres no pole in that cooch.

    or not.

    but it sounded good. 😛

  6. Anonymous

    woops that was me.



  7. I-66

    quick aside: I’d be tempted to attach “Velvet” to an address book listing in my phone, just so I could say “oh, it’s Velvet” when you called and have people look at me in wonder.

  8. Velvet

    Johnny! You were about to be deleted as a random perv. But now that I know it’s you, I understand that you meant it in the most non-disgusting way possible. Oh, no you didn’t. Who are we kidding.

    SG – I never really watched Friends. I know it’s shocking as the rest of the world did, but I found it mind numbing. And not in a good way.

    I66 – And when you call my phone people can say, “Huh, the whole highway is calling her.” Yup. The whole thing.

    Kristin – No one should be up at 6 a.m.

    Sharkie – Luvs ya!

  9. I-66

    “She must be pretty important if the entire highway can take time out of its busy day to call her.”

  10. Kristin

    I do have Velvet listed as Velvet in my phone and didn’t think anything of it. Now I’m going to think it’s funny every time she calls.

    BTW, I can’t help it! I was awake so I came to work. Actually, maybe I could have just stayed home in my pj’s.

  11. Velvet

    I66 – an interstate, no less!

    K – that’s no excuse. 6 a.m. is reedick-u-luss

  12. Larissa

    wow, you’re my hero with all of these dates!

  13. A Unique Alias

    The “hollow inside” thing isn’t what makes me laugh . . . it’s this:

    “here’s what another woman said to me as she was letting me down easy”

    HAHAHAH!!! The last time I got dumped, the girl didn’t want to see me cry, so she said all the following nice things about me. . .

  14. DC Cookie

    Any guy who has to ‘tell’ you how cool he is, (especially by referencing what other women say about him) is clearly NOT PIMPIN.

  15. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    I totally have you in my phone as “Velvet.” Frankly, I think it suits you better than your given name! 😉

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