Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I Love To Wash In Your Old Bathwater

Dear Girlfriends of mine who have boyfriends,

Never call me and say this: “My boyfriend is busy today so do you want to do something?”

Aside from the fact that it’s rude, it implies the following:

1) You only think of doing something with me when your boyfriend has other plans.
2) You are so dependent on him that you can’t be without him.
3) He has now left you in the lurch and you need some entertainment.

Frankly, I could give a rat’s ass about item numbers 2 & 3. It’s the first one that has me stewing. When you call and say that, note how I say that I can’t accommodate your wishes because I’m already busy. (Busy as in, taking a toothpick to the space between the planks of my hardwood floors and picking out any stray dirt and trapped dog hair.) And please note for future reference, that I’m not one of those “couples only” girls. When I have a boyfriend, I have no problem bringing friends along, nor do I have a problem blowing him off for you all. But you people, you are making me sick. You have set the women’s movement back another 40 years and I hate you for it.



  1. I-66

    Hm… said with venom.

  2. Sub Girl

    ooh. i feel the steam coming out of your ears! but yeah. that’s a really inconsiderate/thoughtless thing for a friend to do!

  3. Sharkbait

    Amen. It can get touchy, but that’s the worst!

    My friends would kill me if I ever pulled that stunt. Then what happens when the bf dumps ya, who are you left with-um look around-NADA!

  4. annie

    Velvet…I’m in awe if you’re truly able to blow off a boyfriend for spending time with girlfriends!

  5. Kristin

    I am entirely too likely to blow off a boyfriend for a friend. Huh. Wonder if that’s why I’m single.

    Actually, I prefer that a boyfriend get along with my friends. No sides.

  6. Velvet

    I 66 & Sub-girl – yep. It’s just inconsiderate, isn’t it?

    Sharkie – I need your friends to meet my friends.

    Annie – ask me about the time my friend got blown off on Valentine’s day and I brought her along with me on my date. The fact is, I have never even had a boyfriend who minded my friends tagging along.

    K – That’s why I like you! 🙂 You would blow off a man to hear me cry about how the panda dumped me for another woman. uh, wait. oops.

  7. Washington Cube

    Agreed. I also hang up on people who put me on hold when they get “call waiting,” but hey…that’s me.

  8. Isaac

    Just started reading a few days ago. Yours is the funniest blog I know. (“taking a toothpick to the space between the planks…”) Sorry your girlfriend is insensitive but thanks for making me laugh.
    — Isaac

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