Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Each New One I Meet Makes My Heart Beat Fast

Thanks for the shout out, CityFlirting! Even though I don’t load correctly in Firefox, I don’t know what to do about that. Anyone?

On to my life. It’s an update from last evening, so if you missed that, scroll down for a second.

CL#3TextTormenter and I talked for 3 hours last night. I must write that again because I still cannot believe it. THREE HOURS OF REAL LIVE TALK. The last time I had a three hour conversation was in high school where I would ponder with a friend, “I can’t wait to get outta here so I can have any boyfriend I want.” Yup. Because that’s exactly how it works.

Anyway, the conversation was mostly good. I say mostly because I sense that he enjoys getting under people’s skin, and that is unfortunately a childish behavior. Take for instance when I say, “How old are you again? I forgot what your ad said.” And he won’t answer – for an infurating 45 minutes. And he thinks it’s funny that I keep asking. It might be minor, but it’s still childish and we cannot forget the following:

Men tell you exactly who they are within five minutes of meeting them. Girls, repeat after me, Men tell you exactly who they are within five minutes of meeting them.

This is advice I should have remembered when I was involved with the trainer (formerly Hot Trainer) for those tumultuous 48 hours. He was mildly bi-polar and Jeckyl & Hydeish when we were in the gym working out. I should have known it wouldn’t be any different later on.

So, CL#3TextTormenter and I have made tentative plans. He seems irked that I can’t do something on Friday. He made the comment, three times at various points in the phone call, that I “have too many men to juggle.” While it’s true, trust me that yours truly has given none of these bozos, uh, men I will be dating, any indication that that assumption has merit. So, that is a mark of an immature man, because lest we forget that his first text messages to me were saying things about why couldn’t I figure out who it was and how many people did I give my number to? This whole thing is maddening because of Velvet’s next line of dating advice.

Dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the better the chance that one will be a match.

So there’s no word from CL#2BlueEyes even though he said he would call. I’m still on with CL#1Writer for tonight. And there’s an “It’s Just a God-Damned-Nightmare that you wish would go away Lunch Date” on Saturday at 7. Yes, peak time, peak night. Those jerks. I really despise them.

Once more for those in the back: Men tell you exactly who they are within five minutes of meeting them. Dating is a numbers game, the more people you meet, the better the chance that one will be a match.

My work here is done for today. Stay tuned.


  1. Larissa

    Good luck this weekend! Can’t wait to hear what happens 🙂

  2. Pretty in Pink

    Heart CL. My CL boy turned friend just hooked me up with the greatest Christmas gift ever. GOOD LUCK! Heart the advice. Smooches

  3. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Okay, CL#3 (or whoever) is already getting on my last damn nerve, and I ain’t even dating him. Eesh.

  4. Velvet

    Thanks Larissa!

    P.I.P. – Thanks for your comments! I love that you found a winner on CL. I’m skeptical, but will report more as it becomes available.

    RC – you are so funny! Just wait until I have an infuriating date with him and I sit through it for 7 hours longer than necessary.

  5. Johnny


    you make dating sound like buying a house.

    Gotta see a ton of em. Its a numbers game!


  6. chicgirl

    dump #2 – smells bad. I like #1 – sounds worried/a little jealous – only that way when they like you.
    good luck – and you are right, my big line is – people tell you exactly who they are – just listen. harder to do than it sounds:)

  7. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    My dearest Velv-

    You are a masochist.

    (Either that, or you are a sadist, and all of your readers are masochists!)


  8. AsianMistress

    Ah dating is a numbers game, a lottery if you will.

    Perhaps I need to be less picky and just go with it. 🙂

  9. Barbara

    Blink would tell you that you don’t even need 5 minutes with your degree of experience. First impressions are usually right when it comes to dating, or so this book would say… This is the author who wrote about a marriage counselor who could tell in 3 minutes of hearing a couple talk to each other with a fair degree of reliability whether or not they would still be together in 15 years.

  10. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    BTW, I think the problem w/ loading in firefox started after you messed with your comments code (adding “disaster dates”). I’d ask someone else who uses this template to forward you the clean code, and just cut and paste and then revise again.

  11. Kristin

    Need stories from last night! How’d things go with CL#1Writer? I suppose you’re too busy with all the boys to write.

  12. angel

    but you never know,men can lie so smoothly even within the first 5 minutes.later they either shock you or you catch them red handed.

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