Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Ain’t Nothin’ ‘Bout You That Don’t Do Something For Me

The aforementioned email volley with New Jersey has been ON since Thursday. I’m going to paraphrase it all because, well, I really like this one and details aren’t fucking funny when you like someone. I have to operate from the standpoint of: “What if one day this guy becomes important enough that I have to reveal the existence of this blog…and he reads it.” With the other schmucks, I couldn’t give a shit. But, with CL#4NewJersey…sigh. And while we’re on this topic, can we shorten his name? Can I just call him NewJersey or NJ when abbreviations are in order? Ok. Thanks. Kisses to all!

Ok. Edit mode. Significantly shortened. Don’t try to read any emotion into any of this.

NJ’s first email: Having fun skiing. Ready to get back. Very tired. Can’t believe I left a CD at your house. Ok, you got me, it was my trick to see you again. Subtle, huh?
Velvet: Glad to hear you’re having fun. It’s cold here. Weather talk is boring when I really just want to hear how your ass is doing. More than happy to return said CD, but you’ll have to work for it.
NJ: Back late Saturday. What do you want with my ass? Oral sex for CD trade?
Velvet: An early a.m. dirty email. Love it. Sounds like a fair trade. Come to my house directly from airport please. I’ll be sans undies.
NJ: I’ll be there.
Velvet: Forgot to mention a recent trip to the waxer…
NJ: Well, of course the only way for me to know if the waxer did a good job is to (bleeeeeep.) {Sorry. This had to be edited out.}
Velvet: You’re killing me. Don’t even go to bag claim. Come directly here.
NJ: Brazilian?
Velvet: Yes
NJ: Hmm. I might have to lick you all over.
Velvet: It’s very difficult to work under these conditions, panties in a twist and all. Snow on it’s way, hope you make it home. Suspecting all this x-rated talk is one of your friends now, because it’s so out of character for you.
NJ: Don’t be too sure about that.
Velvet: Why are you emailing me all day when it’s your last day of vacation?
NJ: Sick of it. Smashed my head yesterday.
Velvet: Hmm. Head injury..dirty talk. Is this related?
NJ: I’ll be ok with a strict regimen of kissing, cuddling and other stuff…
Velvet: More than happy to rehab you. Come see me immediately. I’ll prolong treatment as long as necessary.

A day passes.

NJ: Snowed in. Made it as far as Houston. I’ll call you when I’m home tomorrow.

I’m bubbling over with excitement. I went to the gym to get my mind out of the gutter, and I saw the dude I used to date. He didn’t see me. And, no butterflies. No nervous energy. I walked right by him and proceeded to begin my workout.

It took a year. It took another man. It was brutal, and the longest recovery of any relationship I’ve ever had. But, I wouldn’t trade the still unknown of what I have going on with NewJersey for another chance with someone wishy washy.
Fucking finally.

1 Comment

  1. Velvet

    Rhinestone Cowgirl said…
    (happy dance, here)


    2/12/2006 04:13:03 PM

    marie said…
    Oh, my!
    Can’t wait to see where all this goes now that all that saxual tension is out there.

    ps.: I wish you had posted the details (sex talk is always entertaining) but, at the same time, I understand why you decided not to.. 🙂

    2/12/2006 04:21:38 PM

    HomeI’mprovementNinja said…
    I saw an ex last week and I wasn’t upset about it or anything. The first time I saw her out…with a BALD guy, it was pretty upsetting. But this time when I saw her, it didn’t even rate a raised eyebrow. Glad to see you are not not bothered by Chris encounters.

    2/12/2006 05:19:20 PM

    Siryn said…
    Moving on is a beautiful thing.

    2/12/2006 05:25:50 PM

    always write said…
    Congratulations, girl. You have definitely earned the peace of mind.

    2/12/2006 07:03:08 PM

    Larissa said…
    hot. way to go girl.

    2/12/2006 07:06:37 PM

    Anonymous said…
    I am a longtime lurker, wishing you a great time with NJ! I am orig from NJ, so I love all things NJ-related…anywayz I live in DC now, and have got to ask if you (or any other commenter)can recommend a good Brazilian waxer…I am looking for one myself, and am a bit terrified of getting butchered..thanks!
    -Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow (hopefully!)

    2/12/2006 07:37:21 PM

    Velvet said…
    Anon – send me an email.

    2/12/2006 07:40:51 PM

    A Unique Alias said…
    That’s about the best feeling in the world. One day, you fully realize that whomever was holding you back suddenly has no weight whatsoever. Mazel tov.

    2/12/2006 07:59:45 PM

    Stef said…
    Congrats on the moving on. It’s one of the hardest things to do….. and have fun with NJ!!!

    2/12/2006 08:04:54 PM

    playfulindc said…
    I cannot believe that you just told us all what’s happening in your pants.


    You, young lady, need a spanking.

    2/12/2006 08:40:49 PM

    AsianMistress said…
    That is the best feeling ever (the fucking finally re: Chris, not the panty situation).

    2/13/2006 12:07:32 AM

    Mandy said…
    I haven’t had any encounters with the ex- yet, but he pops into my head at annoying times for absolutely no reason. Not nice thoughts (none remain), usually “what an asshole” thoughts. Having been a total waste of time when we were actually together, I resent the hell out of devoting any further time to him – it’s so frustrating! GOOD FOR YOU for putting that all behind you – you’ve earned it!

    2/13/2006 01:40:25 AM

    I-66 said…
    I’m pretty sure that “fun” can be replaced with “sex” in any suggestions over what you should “have”… I mean, you know that, but I just wanted to put it out there.

    2/13/2006 08:05:51 AM

    Johnny said…
    brazilian tacos are so delicious.


    2/13/2006 08:29:11 AM

    meghansdiscontent said…
    STILL love NJ.
    Pulling for him.

    Let him take full advantage of that Brazilian.
    Over and over again. 🙂

    Screw Chris.
    And his hag in acid washed jeans. SO happy for you!!!

    2/13/2006 08:54:36 AM

    Sub Girl said…
    i’m excited for you!!

    2/13/2006 09:03:14 AM

    Washington Cube said…
    I sense true liberation and release in that final comment. Good luck.

    2/13/2006 12:09:48 PM

    Sharkbait said…
    YAY so proud and excited. You deserve my greek lamb.

    Go. For. It.

    2/13/2006 12:24:27 PM

    Nicole said…
    Just reading this makes me giddy, wishing I had a crush too.

    2/13/2006 01:08:43 PM

    Kristin said…
    I’m sure the plane has landed by now. I mean the real airplane. From Houston. Updates?!

    2/13/2006 02:58:14 PM

    Velvet said…
    It’s coming. Hold your horses. I’m busy dumping a man over here, and uh, working. Well, pretending to work. Anyway, once all this is done, I’ll post.

    2/13/2006 03:23:04 PM

    Crazy Girl City said…
    I feel like I am reading porn here!

    2/13/2006 04:09:33 PM

    Barbara said…
    I’ve been backing NJ since the get-go! It sounds to me like he is smitten. Can’t wait to hear what happens when he comes to claim his CD!

    2/13/2006 10:28:09 PM

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