You all will be happy to know that Velvet’s back in the game. I’ve had a very productive weekend with the girls and frankly, I’m ready to get back to the boys. (A little too much estrogen if you get my drift.)
I’ve been harboring a Craigslister on the back burner for weeks now. Basically since the end of NewJersey, that pompous arrogant motherfucker, I’ve been talking to a very nice boy. Anyway, I have yet to come up with a name for this one, but he’s five (count them) five years younger than I am. I’ve never dated someone so young. We’re going out tomorrow. So there will be a date update hopefully Wednesday. It’s almost April, and I’m way off pace with the dating as compared to last year.
In other news, I had my fabulous tattoo added to last week. Now I have half a back of artwork. Nice. But it itches, so if anyone has a scratching post they can drop by my house, that would be greatly appreciated.
This past weekend I reached a point of drunken debauchery that I haven’t seen in ages. And I mean, ages. Just know that when I drink, I get so ballsy. I’m like a more fun version of myself, but this was bad. I managed to steal a drink from every poor schlub who came up to the bar to order a round, thereby ensuring we would continue to drink for free. Then when that got old, I started tossing the bar garnish fruit around like peanuts at a hoedown. An olive landed on someone’s shirt, and he just picked it off and ate it, as if his shirt was a natural place for an olive to hang out. And two more olives made their way into some man’s pocket who had backed his ass up to us at the bar. Olive Tapenade when it’s made inside someone’s pocket? Yum.
I’ve had some other issues with my blog being plagiarized and used to make money, but it’s so not even worth talking about some man in the Ukraine with a tiny penis so I’ll let it go.