Velvet (to boss’ voicemail:) Hey. It’s me. Listen, two things. First, you should have come here because there’s no one here to laugh at my sarcastic jokes. Second, I’m, uh, not coming back. Can I get a transfer? Thanks. Call me.
I didn’t hear back from him yesterday. Is it possible that I could have pissed off yet another person in my life? But we talked today. Back to convo mode.
Boss: I got your message. Yeah, we can transfer you out there. But what should we do about your dogs? How can I get them out there?
Velvet: I haven’t thought that part out yet. If I don’t get them here soon, they ban animals flying into Phoenix airport for the summer.
Velvet: Too hot.
Boss: I had to leave the office. Rick was really getting on my fucking nerves.
Velvet: (This is the person in my office who hates me.) Awww. How sweet! He has you all to himself and he’s dying to play nice!
Boss: I can’t take it. I actually had to go downstairs and get a drink to cope. Then I went back upstairs and he was all in my face so I walked out with my computer and now I’m at Starbucks.
Velvet: But he can see Starbucks from his window.
Boss: So listen, can I buy your condo from you? I’ll give you $200,000.
Velvet: Um. I can see how you would think that is a fair offer in this soft market…
Boss: Ok. $202,500.
Velvet: Now you’re talkin! Now, if you can just double that number, I should be able to break even.
Boss: Hey, I heard you were really sick. How are you?
Velvet: Yeah, can you believe this shit? I’m at a Conference for building houses for people over 55, am easily the youngest person here and I’m sitting around my room coughing up my lungs while they go out, get drunk and gamble! They are all staying out until midnight, which is 3 a.m. for us!!
Boss: So you’re not out drinking?
Velvet: Hell no. Though, I do need it this week.
So, it’s Wednesday night. The work portion of this trip is finished. Golf clubs and suitcases are being loaded into vans on their way to the airport to all points out of here. Soon, this place will be a ghost town, and I’ll be the only one here sunning my Greek ass. And I don’t plan to come home until I’m 11 shades tanner and several shades saner than I am right now.
Unfortunately for me, my emotions peak and bottom at places that I never thought existed. This never used to be the case for me, but as I get older (groan,) I find that my priorities change and my attitude toward things change. For instance, tomorrow when everyone is gone, even though they are work friends, I’ll be lonely.
Last week I had a convergence of pre-flying jitters, PMS (something that never used to bother me,) and was (and still am) harboring a fantastic cold. Everything bothered me much more than it does at other times. Something as simple as people not getting along is enough to make me cry.