Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

When I Say Out Loud, I Wanna Get Outta This, I Wonder, Is There Anything I’m Gonna Miss

Sherlock emailed me yesterday and said “Are you ready to have an adult conversation this week?” Hmm. Upstairs Neighbor encouraged me to respond with, “That would mean that you are an adult.” HA! I love it. But I ain’t doing it. I don’t want to engage. Sherlock also called last night. I watched it ring, watched his name flash, then sent him to voicemail. He left a message asking if I have cooled off yet and want to talk.

Um. No. Not yet.

I saw the therapist today. I told her there was another setback, and she was like, groan groan. So I explain the whole story. She said that she can definitely see how I am feeling like he doesn’t respect me to go telling the exes stuff about our freaking sex life. So that’s good, she agrees. But then she goes back to this: “If it weren’t for this blog, you wouldn’t know any of this because these girls never would have factored in. And plenty of men lie about plenty of things. So, I’m not sure that this is the right move to just end it. But it seems as though the last time we had this discussion, you were seeking my permission in some way to go back to him, and this time, I’m not hearing that from you.”

She’s right about that. I wanted her approval. She seems to know me very well. This lady is goooooood. She thinks, and has said several times before, that this blog is just driving a lot of the destruction. I’m not sure I agree with that. This is usually isn’t a forward-thinking vehicle. I’m not laying it out and asking for commenters to give me a course of action. I’m more so reporting in on things that have already happened. I don’t know. Maybe she’s right.

What I’m left with is what to do about this. I really wish it would go away. I really wish someone else would just handle it for me. I really wish Sammy and Thora could go over there and pick up their own toys, bowls and food. But, I got nothing. The best I can come up with is that I must masturbate before I go over there. Then there’s no danger in ending up in bed.

In other news, there’s a portal to the outside in my office. There is a wasps nest out there, so every morning a wasp or two gets in and I have to kill them. I kill the morning wasps, then the afternoon shift arrives, and I have to kill them too. Now, I don’t know what’s going on but there are literally 100’s of lady bugs in my office. And instead of calling property management, I’m sitting here playing with them. One just got stuck under my laptop and I freed her and sent her on her way. I gave another some of my salad. I’m wondering what they could be eating. I think I’m losing my mind. Maybe I should be on meds. And that’s all I got.


  1. freckledk

    Can’t Sammy and Thora wait a little while longer before they have their toys and food bowls? Whether or not you choose to reconcile with Sherlock, you certainly aren’t ready to see him.

  2. Jill

    How funny that he speaks of being an adult. Wonder where he got such grown up words? I feel for you and wish you didn’t have to go through this but you do not need to be on meds. There is nothing wrong with doing completely mundane things.

  3. Tacoma!

    God I’m nosey… What does she think of his neediness? Because seriously, that is a HUGE problem.

  4. KassyK

    As semi-clones it would make sense that we have the same love of our therapists. I think that the blog is a release and has happened to give you information that you would have gotten either way.

    SOMEHOW one of these girls would have found you and told you everything.

    Guaranteed. More talk tonight. xoxoxoxo

  5. Siryn

    Wait, he’s accusing you of being childish?

    Manipulative pussy strikes again. It’s your fault, Velvet, that’s what he’s saying.

    As for the blog: usually, we are reacting to what was said and done, and quite candidly, you have gone with your instincts anyway notwithstanding the pleas here for you to dump the schmuck or take greater care.

    What blows my mind is that your therapist might be encouraging you to stay with a known liar. WTF? Okay, so other men lie. If it came to light in another manner, would she still advise you to stick with the dude? That’s horsepucky.

  6. homeimprovementninja

    I wonder if you and KassyK have the same therapist. Or if other bloggers share the same therapists. What if the therapist hears something from one person and hear’s something else from the other patient? Does she call one of the patients on it?

    Like if I said, every happy hour KassyK can’t keep her hands offa me. Would the therapist be like “I see…” or “HA! you wish!”

  7. Red

    Masturbating is not like have sex with a warm human dick so don’t think that masturbating before seeing him will deter you.
    It wasn’t until you mentioned who “new guy” was that it all blew up.
    I think you guys are great together but he needs to keep his mouth shut.
    You guys definitely need to talk but NO SEX with him… Yet! OK?

  8. Dan

    Every time Sherlock sees Sammy and Thora’s dishes and toys, it’s a constant reminder of what he’s lost and the errors he’s made – whether he grasps them or not.

    Let him keep them a while longer…

  9. bejeweled

    If it werent for this blog, you wouldnt know any of this because these girls never would have factored in. And plenty of men lie about plenty of things…” I had a problem with that statement. I’m no shrink, but seriously, if you didn’t have this blog, he’d be doing all of this behind your back and you’d be none the wiser… all the while, he gets to do whatever he wants behind your back. And guess what? You’d never know and would think he was the greatest thing next to apple pie! He, to me, would still be lying to your back, telling his ex’s your personal life. I’d look at it this way: which is worse, to know or not to know? Me? I’d want to know and lucklily, b/c of your blog, you get to see who and what Sherlock is really like. He’s a sneak and a big mouth. If he respected your relationship as much as he wants you to believe, he wouldn’t have gone to the ex’s to spill about your relationship. That’s just wrong. Ex’s are ex’s, not friends who you gossip about your current girlfriend with. He’s probably already told them that you aren’t talking to him… I don’t think you want to be caught up in what appears to be a downward spiral.

  10. AussieEm

    I think youve got 6 main options in regards to the damnit-I-still-have-some-belongings-at-his-house-hmm-how-awkward scenario

    1. Get someone else (close friend/relative?) to go over and collect your things. (Personally, I think this option looks a bit cowardly though. But then sometimes it can be for the best.)

    2. Meet up in a public place to swap items. This way theres not much chance of falling into bed just make sure you dont meet in Ikea# or somewhere else where there are beds!

    3. Arrange for Sherlock to drop your things off at your doorstep/reception desk of the apartment at a prearranged time when youre not home. (You dont really even have to leave the house for this one, just pretend youre not there, and once hes gone, bingo, your stuff is back.)

    4. Practice telekinesis until youre good enough to just levitate the objects home. This may involve standing near his place though, as I’m not sure if it works across long distances.

    5. Buy a Golden Retriever so a) it can be a new friend for Sammy and Thora, and b) you can train it to retrieve the missing items.

    6. Start a fire at Sherlocks place and in the ensuing confusion, once hes been evacuated, sneak in and reclaim your stuff. (This one does come with some inherent risks though.)

    #I had to google Furniture Stores USA to come up with that name look how much time and effort I’m putting into these comments. 🙂

  11. la whisky

    To follow Siryn’s line of logic (which is pretty darn straight), this guy is not saying the right things. He doesn’t really see how wrong he has been, which is why he’s not taking more/any responsibility. And, which is why he might not be able to learn and change from this. Its pretty clear to me that you see this – you’re flummoxed by his texts. Overcoming the physical desire is very difficult, but without him sending a bazillion flowers and standing outside your condo with a boombox blasting a power ballad and tears streaming down his face in the rain while a giant banner states, “I was so wrong and am so sorry,” you might want to stick to the phone and having a friend pick up the dogs’ stuff.

    And why do people freak out about prescription medications? I’m no pillhead, but better living through chemistry! Sometimes, taking them for a little while can really help. Just do your homework beforehand.

  12. KM

    If you just hold out another week or two, maybe he’ll get tired of the effort and get back in bed with his fuckbuddies. Hell, he might already have.

    An adult conversation about this situation would involve him accepting that you don’t want him in your life anymore and just dropping your stuff off at the door. Fat chance of that happening on his end.

  13. ashburnite

    wow….how funny is it that he called you childish, meanwhile he is acting like he’s still in high school, running to the hags every time you two have a problem.

  14. Scarlet

    I think it means a lot what your therapist said about you not looking for permission to go back.

    And as for not knowing if it hadn’t have been for the blog…I think it’s a good thing you found out (even though it sucks at the moment) which means the blog is a good thing, right?

  15. playfulinnc

    What did we do before texting???

    Oh yeah, I’m still there. I loathe texting.

    I don’t loathe you, tho, and think that momma’s gotta do what momma’s gotta do.

    You’re strong. Sex is important, but sheesh! Does it have to come wrapped in bullshit?

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