Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I Hope You Never Lose Your Sense of Wonder

I was walking by a fancy store today, skidded to a halt and turned to feast my eyes on this:

It’s pink. It’s retro. It’s all things I love, and what tricycles should have been when I was bopping around. I bought it, shoved it in Speedracer, and whisked it away from the store so I could send it off to my beloved little niece. You may remember her as the “cutest baby in the world.” Well, she seriously is out of hand adorable. And I’m not just saying that because she’s my niece. See for yourself.

Clearly my brother got to her first instead of my more responsible and not nearly as sweet toothed sister-in-law. Sigh. That pint of ice cream is not for teething babies! It’s for PMSing Aunties. Send it my way bitches, I’m sending you this tricycle in exchange. God, that kid. She is so cute I can’t stand it.

In other cuteness news, Sammy and Thora are out of control with the UPS lady in my neighborhood. She gives them treats that she keeps in the truck. I get notes and calls from my dog walker that they saw the UPS truck and jumped inside. If Thora sees a UPS truck anywhere now, she bolts. I’m back to putting her on a leash because she is totally out of control. She saw the UPS lady driving down the street, and she walked out in the middle of the road with her little bow legs and stopped her in her tracks. The UPS lady had to open the door and let Thora in the truck with her because Thora would not move out of the road. My dog has become a stalker. And no, it’s not just her.

Yesterday Sammy craned his neck from the balcony and saw the UPS lady a FULL BLOCK AWAY delivering a package. She jumped out of the truck and Sammy started shrieking and barking.

I would like to hire them out for the holidays. Everyone could use a warning when UPS is coming, right? Well, I’ve got Sammy and Thora, ready to patrol for UPS, coming to a neighborhood near you. Their price is 3 milkbones an hour.


  1. VP of Dior

    PMSing Aunties!!! hysterical.

  2. Scarlet

    I am going to seriously spoil my neices and nephews. My siblings need to HAVE them first.

  3. E :)


    Life Down Under is alright. Very lovely, but not as exciting as up there.

  4. Red

    That bike is too cute! Too bad Mini Red is getting old.
    The dogs are awesome. If you ever want to wear them out we should get them and Mini Red together.

  5. homeimprovementninja

    That trike looks like it’s been on “Pimp My Ride”. Good work, auntie!

  6. KassyK

    Ok, she is the CUTEST.

  7. marie

    Ah, your brother.. introducing your little niece to the wonderful world of Haagen-Dazs so early in her life. She’s gone now, you know? At least I know that I was never the same after having my first Chocolate Chocolate Chip experience..
    She’s adorable!

  8. carrie m

    the UPS people have wised up by putting dog treats in their trucks. they’re usually having to run for their lives away from the dogs. dogs have the extremely important jobs of being UPS alarms. mine can hear them from blocks away.

  9. Siryn

    How sweet… you’re a great auntie!!

  10. Wicked H

    OMG I need insulin after seeing your niece. The sweetness!!!!

    Of course she gets her looks from the PMSing Auntie!

  11. Barbara

    The pink tricycle is absolutely adorable, almost as cute as your niece. I am fast forwarding ahead to her first visit to see Aunt Velvet on her own. Now what would be the itinerary for you and a 5-year-old in Washington? She is going to learn a lot from her aunty, no doubt!

  12. AussieEm

    Awwwww @ the cuteness!

    Chrissy card is written, just not posted. Oops. I really need to get off my lazy ass and visit the post office. Post-thesis bliss has put me into a stupor I’m afraid.

    Keep and eye on your letterbox mid-march. It should arrive then!

    I’m glad to see that youre back to posting regularly. Teh Internets are not the same without regular fixes of 🙂

  13. bejeweled

    Too funny. That gave me a good laugh.

  14. freckledk

    Your Niece and my Nephew should marry…then we could be sisters…uh, wait…maybe not 🙂

    Those dogs are a handful. Love it! I hope you get the UPS lady a bottle of something to thank her for minding your pups so well.

  15. playfulinnc

    And I thought my Thomas the Tank Tent was cool. Damn.

  16. Kate

    I took one look at that and thought: I have to get that for my granddaughter….then I looked at the price…you are a very generous young woman!


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