Its the Holidays everybody. Have you noticed yet how the holidays bring out the worst in many people?
Last week, Dunkin Donuts on 17th Street was robbed. Calling all cars, calling all cars, Dunkin Donuts is in peril!
Friday 12/15, 9 p.m., Wonderland Ballroom was robbed by three masked men with guns. They took everyones cash and were out in under 3 minutes. Gentrification is a slow and painful process.
Monday 12/18, 3 p.m. A man was shot and killed at 12th & U, just outside the 7-11. Apparently it was because of some sort of argument. 3 p.m. people. 3 p.m. Bunch of savages around here.
Monday 12/18, 3:30 p.m. I have to get Sammy & Thora out for a walk and also need to drop off an RX for my anti-anxiety medicine at CVS. I walk down the street and begin to tie them up outside. A man with a goiter rides up to me on his bike and says, Youre really trusting. I said, They wont run away. He says, No, I mean, just anyone could come and steal them. Now, this process of tying dogs outside a store is not my favorite, and Ive done it three times in my life as something happening to Sammy or Thora paralyzes me with so much fear, hence the anti-anxiety medicine RX that I was holding in hand! So I turn around and look at him, and my face must have said it all. He said, Well, I didn’t mean to scare you but and launches into more about how just anyone could steal the dogs and I would never find them. Finally he rides off. I make sure hes out of sight and I run in and drop off the RX and run back out. There are Sammy & Thora, sitting there licking their asses. Who would want to steal a mutt whose tongue tastes like ass? But, for those 30 seconds, I was really sweating it out. Asshole. Thanks a lot. Ill be doubling up when I get my hands on those pills.
Tuesday 12/19, 3 p.m., Blockbuster was robbed on 17th Street, also by armed men. They forced an exiting customer back inside and held the place up. I would like to tell that customer that while I’m sorry for their trauma because I would have most likely crapped my pants, they should have long ago joined Netflix. Who goes to Blockbuster anymore?
I’m going to lock my door, train Sammy and Thora to use the toilet, and not leave until the madness is over.