Ohh…..the pain and distant familiarity of the hangover. I’ve managed to avoid it for a long time with my equation of three gin and tonics only after a full dinner. But, the hangover is alive and well inside my head right now. Crystal, the one with the dying cat, is here to put the cat to sleep. Sara and I met her at Finn and Porter’s in Alexandria and someone decided that we should smoke a little pot. This is something that I never do, I have never really been a fan of pot. But when they said they had some left over from a long time ago, I said a very enthusiastic “Let’s go!!” This of course, surprised the crowd. I hope the Feds aren’t reading this.
Anyway, what transpired from the evening can be drilled down to these simple statements. Enjoy.
1) Sara: “David was in a Danceoff.” Crystal: “Did he win?”
No one in two months of Sara telling that story has anyone ever asked if he won. They’ve just been disgusted and agreed with her decision to send the “Don’t contact me anymore” text message.
2) Sara: “Do they just wait around for an able-bodied person to come over so they can scratch things off their honey-do list?”
After Crystal gets off the phone with Dan, her ex-roommate in a wheelchair, she says he asked her to come by while she’s in town to hang some shelves.
3) Me: “Sammy, don’t scratch Auntie’s new cabinets.” Sammy: “I know, it took her forever to pick them ou…”
4) Crystal: “You just sounded like Beavis or Butthead, I’m not sure which.”
5) Sammy: “Hello Pedro!”
6) Sara: “You just cost me another week in therapy Crystal.”
7) Sara to Crystal about Me: “She is SO hetero. When I’m around her I feel more hetero.”
8) Sara: “We need to hire a court reporter.”
9) Me: “Sara? Can I introduce my ass to your toilet seat?”
After these legible ones that we wrote down, I can’t understand anything else on this list. Crystal wrote a bunch of stuff that makes no sense right now, but I’m sure it was funny last night. I’m not sure if I can get out of bed yet. And I really wanted to go to the gym. I have a fab new idea since I’ve been so stuck with my leg workout, I was going to get back to squats and I want to do them now. But I really hurt. Wah Wah Wah, I’m such a baby. These complaints make me think I’m starting to sound like someone I call Mom, who by the way just called me from Linens & Things. She wanted to know if I have a blender. Gotta love that Mommy. Always up to something. When she was about to hang up she said, “Anything going on?” And I sort of wanted to tell her that I met someone faaaaaaaaaaaaabulous, but then, I was scared again, like I will jinx it. So far, I’ve only confided in Sammy. And he’s a damn good secret-keeper.