Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I’d Rather Live In Her World, Then Live Without Her In Mine

First, a plea for your help. Does anyone know anything about animals and secondhand drug use? It sounds ridiculous, I know, but my poor Thora is a mess. “Friends” told me that my ex used to do drugs with her in the room with the door closed and to me now, she is a different dog. These “Friends” told me that she never had any food or water and this went on for almost a year until I got her back. I’m having numerous behavioral issues with her that were not present when she was a puppy or when I was in her life the first time. Something has happened to this dog and I don’t know how to help her. I’ve literally gone to the ends of the earth for her – the ends of the earth being a middle of the night rescue from Macon, Georgia. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Now, ladies, try to contain yourselves as Bachelor Number 2 loads onto your screen. Try not to make any audible noises or everyone will know you aren’t doing any work.

I’m not sure how much more of this I am supposed to endure.

Has anyone ever used Yahoo Personals? Have you seen the things they call “word verification?” I know word verification is for “my” protection and what not, but half the time you get it bounced back to you that you guessed wrong. They are virtually impossible to figure out. And every decent man who is emailing me is complaining about them too. I didn’t realize I needed a CIA Code Breaker to help me date, but, this is D.C. and, well, I guess it was only a matter of time.

Le Sigh. In lieu of any real comfort in my life, I did what most women do when they are in peril. I shopped. I shopped my little arse off, and then some. You all should thank me, however, because I singlehandedly propped up our economy for another day. When the housing bubble busts and gas hits $7 a gallon, don’t come crying to Velvet because it was VELVET who cleaned the racks at TJ Maxx, Filene’s Basement, Marshalls, Kramer Books, Barnes & Noble, Petco, and Saks Fifth Avenue.

Now, hit that comment button and tell me what to do about sad, depressed Thora, who is now sleeping in the bathtub. Thanks.


  1. Sub Girl

    …..speechless after looking at Bachelor #2’s pic.

    your poor dog! have you taken her to the vet, or a pet psychologist perhaps?? i don’t know if they really work or not.

    whenever you feel bad, going shopping is the cure-all equivalent to ice cream. i do it too. and i love love filene’s basement, barnes & noble and petco. if i lived closer to the city i’d go to kramer books all the time too.

  2. A Unique Alias

    I think she’ll be fine if you just show her as much love as you have time for. Dogs are resilient. She’s probably a little shell-shocked after what she’s been through. Combine that with the sudden change of scenery, and you’ll have yourself a rattled dog.

    Is she named after Thora Birch?

  3. Velvet

    sub girl – I emailed the Dog Whisperer. I’m desperate! And hands off Bachelor #2, he’s mine! Mullett and all…

    unique alias – Thora’s name is a great story. She is in a movie – “The Gift” with Cate Blanchett, Keanu Reeves etc. She’s in the opening credits, running down the street with some kids. My ex found her on the movie set when she was a puppy. They were filming and she was barking and they said, “CUT! Where is that barking coming from??” And then we had a dog. “Thoro” means gift or present in Greek, so I made it female and there you have it. Thora.

  4. Crazy Girl City

    Poor little Thora. I think I would either call the vet……or maybe you could call an animal shelter. I am sure they deal with dogs like this all the time. Well the no-kill ones anyways.

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