Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open

I went to the gym this morning. Bi-Polar trainer came over and hugged me from behind while I was doing bicep curls. WTF? I said, “Isn’t this a violation of gym rules?” And he acts all sweet and sappy and says, “No, I can hug a member if I want.” I thought about saying “I can hug a member too but please let’s not let it be your member” but I didn’t. Sometimes it’s funnier in my head anyway.The Craigslist team:

CL#1Writer called again. I think that I’m over the idea of dating him again. I should tell him that I have no chemistry.

CL#2BlueEyes called me yesterday. Of course I missed the call, of course. But his message was really sweet like, “We’ve had some great banter on email and I really look forward to talking to you in person.” Rrrrrrr. Bring it. I called back, left a message, ball in his court.

CL#3TextTorment emailed me and wants to get together tomorrow night. Fine by me. Let’s go, soldier boy. Miss Delaware ain’t got nothing on me.


  1. Kathryn

    HOORAY for CL#3TextTorment…. get it on… full report, please!

  2. Velvet

    Kathryn – I wouldn’t have it any other way!!

  3. I-66

    PLEASE tell me you’re giving him crap about the texting when you see him in person.

    If not, just lie.

  4. gwadzilla

    there are many dog walkers in the city
    many who will let the dogs stay with them
    they house sit while the owner is out

    it is difficult leaving your dogs behind
    but don’t let this issue blow out of proportion

    my inlaws would not let our dogs stay with them
    in the end
    it works out
    the dogs can deal
    they like our dog walker
    and well
    they miss us
    but they love when we come back
    and yes
    we always come back

  5. Sharkbait

    I love it…I so live vicariously through you.

  6. Johnny

    hug from behind?

    thats a layer of clothing away from doggie style.



  7. Larissa

    love the ‘member’ line. i would have thought (and nearly said) the same thing!

  8. Barbara

    Velvet — This is infinitely more fun to read now that I have a face to put with your name. We all live vacariously through you. One of these guys may just be a keeper. And then what are going to do for amusement?

  9. Jamy

    First–gwadzilla, SHUT UP. Idiot.

    Second–I have no doubt that things will continue to be very interesting even if Velvet (gasp) only has one man in her life. Though she may not blog about it. Make me sad 🙁

  10. Washington Cube

    Someone is a busy little bee this holiday. Good luck with the lineup of candidates.

    The trainer is a bit “off,” isn’t he? I wish you had said that to him, just to see the expression on his face.

  11. Johnny

    You know, if you changed this post title to “Live with your Legs wide open”…

    I’d be ALL over that.

  12. Crazy Girl City

    Yay. I can’t wait to hear about date!

  13. Sub Girl


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