Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

It Wasn’t That Hard To Figure You Out

Some quick updates.

CL#1Writer: I called him back Thursday night and left a message. As I was leaving said message, he called on the other line because he probably just missed my call. I still left a message but I said, “Hey, I know I owe you a phone call, it’s been a hell of a week. Sorry about that, but I wanted to call you back. Bye.” Even though I didn’t say “Give me a call” I thought maybe that could be read between the lines. Then he called again, but I didn’t answer because I’m a chicken. I left it at that. But then I felt guilty, so I sent an email on Friday saying that I left him a message back, etc. I didn’t hear back from him until today, and I almost thought I was in the clear. But no. I need to stop being a child and just tell him I’m not feeling this.

CL#3TextTormenter and I had a date on Friday for lunch. After lunch we went out for a drink and played Megatouch (loves it) at a bar. He was a lot more touchy feely than I would have liked. I’m not sure what it is with men who are instantly affectionate; For me, affection builds with time. I may not hold someone’s hand on the first few dates, but after a bit I will develop the desire to hold their hand. Or not. Depends on the person I guess. Anyway, when we were saying goodbye on the corner of 19th & L:

CL#3: I don’t like this.
Velvet: What?
CL#3: Saying goodbye in a public place.
Velvet: Huh. Well, it works for me.
CL#3: Well you should have me come back to your place.
Velvet: No
CL#3: Well, I have to meet a friend, can I see you later?
Velvet: A second date on the same day?
CL#3: Yes. I want to see you before I fly out tomorrow.
Velvet: I guess so. I have some things to do.
CL#3: Well, it wouldn’t be until later.
Velvet: Fine.

At that point we said goodbye. There was a minor kiss, a bit of tongue. Whereas with CL#1Writer, I knew I had no connection with him, I don’t feel that way here with CL#3TextTormenter. I’m not feeling the green light, but I certainly don’t want to never see him again. Well…maybe.

So the night comes and goes and guess who I never hear from? At 7:00 p.m. Christmas Eve I got a voicemail from him saying that he was sorry about last night, he got drunk, blah blah blah, was in Atlanta waiting for his connecting flight, blah blah blah. Do I care? Nope. I didn’t call back.

Christmas morning he sent me a “Merry Christmas” text asking if I got his message about the prior night. I said, “You too, and no prob. on Friday.” He wrote back and said something about me being a cool chick or whatever, and he wants to see me when he gets back. Then today he sent some messages about wanting to see me Wednesday or Thursday. Whatevs. He sent that message 3 times before I answered it. I finally said, “Not sure what I have going on but we can work something out.”

These men are hilarious. The more I back away (a.k.a. play hard to get) the more they are on my ass. This “hard to get” thing is definitely an old game, but I’ve read a fabulous book that teaches a new twist on this. Instead of ignoring 95% of the phone calls, you answer most of them and say things like that you are/were busy anyway or you couldn’t have possibly seen him because some “friends” came over and you went out. He’s already proven himself to be a Kennedy in training, as in he drinks a whole hell of a lot. The idea of him doesn’t gross me out, he’s attractive and nice enough, but he definitely has those dick qualities that desensitize me from feeling bad about any of my behavior. It’s on. Let’s go little boy.


  1. Jo

    You’re so awesome…. everyone else is blogging holiday crap and here you are still talking about the men. You rock!

  2. Velvet

    Eh..I had my moments of bitching about my family. But, you can’t hold Velvet down for long! I’m BACK BABY!!!!

  3. Kristin

    I love the “idea of him doesn’t gross me out.” Definitely what many of us are looking for in a man.

  4. Johnny

    I am so on your ass and I dont even know you.

    Its all about the hunt, baybeee.

    The sad part is after you’ve knocked boots, the lust is over. For most men anyways. But I didn’t have to tell you that, did I ?

  5. I-66

    I’ve never understood the draw to someone who plays hard to get… If I get a whiff of it I tend to back away.


  6. Kathryn

    I am so intrigued to see what happens next!!!

  7. Velvet

    Kristin – When you’ve dated as many men as I have this year, you grasp on to what you can.

    Johnny – Loves ya!

    I66 – I totally agree. If I don’t hear from someone often enough, I lost interest. That’s what made the Bartender so appealing – he would call just to say hi or tell me something funny that happened.

    Kathryn – When he grabbed my hand during lunch I almost bust out laughing. I briefly considered saying, “I have a friend Kathryn who went out with this guy who randomly grabbed her hand…” but I left it alone.

  8. AsianMistress

    The idea of most men who want me grosses me out. The idea of most men who don’t want me however, excites me.


    Check your email btw.

  9. Johnny

    omg Libra.


  10. Velvet

    AM – I did, and I answered.

    Johnny – huh?

  11. A Unique Alias

    Hey, you fixed your format! Yay!

    As far as: “you answer most of them and say things like that you are/were busy anyway or you couldn’t have possibly seen him because some “friends” came over and you went out.”

    In my book, that’s a good way to get blown off permanently. But hey, maybe it works on some guys.

  12. Stef

    Fun updates, Velvet. I’m interested to see what happens with #3…. it’s been a long time since i’ve even gotten that far down the road with a guy I’m interested in. I’m totally in AM’s boat. Thanks for letting me live vicariously!

  13. Larissa

    thanks as always for being entertaining :-).

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