I may suck at dating, but I do make some really great resolutions. I hate that crap of “Lose 10 pounds” or some other ridiculous statement that I may or may not ever attain. I decided to make more thoughtful resolutions and put them into practice, not just for the year, but for my life.
That being said, two of my past resolutions were:
2003: To not treat someone a certain way just because they treated me that way. For example, just because someone is a total asshole to me, doesn’t mean I should reciprocate. Instead, I should continue to be myself and hold myself to the same (hopefully high) standard.
2004: Be the Bigger Person. Sometimes this is exhausting, but, I still do my best to overlook other people’s faults and just suck up my pride.
2005: I attempted to really perfect the above resolutions, by focusing on both for another year.
I know, you are expecting me to make a dating related resolution. But, ha! I’m not going to do that. Besides, what kind of resolution would I make? Date 30 men and top the 25 from last year? That’s not helpful, nor is it conducive to the true end goal of finding a meaningful, lasting relationship.
And the unveiling of the 2006 resolution:
Discard any selfish people who so obviously have their own agenda’s (friends and/or family) out of my life. I no longer have time to participate in one-sided relationships.
You’ll all be so proud. I’ve already put it into practice. I know that it seems to conflict with my earlier resolutions. But try to view them in order. I tried first to treat people right, but obviously I could only take so much of that, so I had to resolve to be the bigger person in all scenarios that I can’t control. Now I’m allowing myself the ability to just stop talking to people entirely. This might not be the best way to handle things, but I feel that there are some people who have had more than their share of chances. It’s not like there’s one disagreement and I bail out of the relationship. I’m talking about unproductive selfish relationships that have manifested themselves over a period of years, not days.
I’m giddy with excitement. Happy New Year!
I-66 said…
mmhmm… the friendship version of the Dating Effort Threshold. Bravo.
1/03/2006 11:46:45 AM
chicgirl said…
this is great velvet and very practical. as they say, you have to ‘love yourself first’. this means removing yourself from people who are not really your friends:)
1/03/2006 11:49:29 AM
AsianMistress said…
Exactly, don’t waste your time!
1/03/2006 11:51:43 AM
Johnny said…
could that giddyness just be you forgot to turn the pocket rocket off?
and when do they cross the lines from asshole to asshat? or is it vice versa?
hmmm.
1/03/2006 12:06:57 PM
I-66 said…
Chicgirl… thanks for the definition of “love yourself first”. I was thinking I was going to have to excuse myself for a few minutes.
1/03/2006 12:30:27 PM
Velvet said…
Thanks Chicgirl!
I66 – you haven’t changed a bit…bad boy.
Johnny – Your comments always have me cracking up.
AM – We call all benefit from a resolution like this, right?
1/03/2006 12:35:35 PM
Kristin said…
You rock. I rock. Wait are you going to cut me off now?
1/03/2006 01:17:17 PM
I-66 said…
don’t act like you don’t like it.
1/03/2006 01:19:26 PM
Larissa said…
‘I no longer have time to participate in one-sided relationships.’
sooooo true! good for you!
1/03/2006 01:21:16 PM
Jamy said…
It’s a great resolution. Allow yourself to keep it.
1/03/2006 01:26:50 PM
Rhinestone Cowgirl said…
Velvet, I love your resolution. It’s perfect. And I think I’ve been working on the same one, without even thinking about it.
Love ya.
1/03/2006 01:27:13 PM
Velvet said…
Thanks ladies and gent. Trust me, no one will be cut off who doesn’t deserve it. It will be years of abuse of Velvet before you get the heave ho.
1/03/2006 02:30:13 PM
I-66 said…
and the “leave, ho”
1/03/2006 02:41:47 PM
alwayswrite said…
‘Tis the season to clean house. We’re in our thirties now; It’s time to be self-indulgent. Life should be about quality, not quantity.
1/03/2006 03:10:48 PM
Stef said…
Good for you! I learned over the last few years to just remove myself from all toxic relationships. Easier said than done, but it’s a very important move for self-preservation and overall happiness. You deserve to be surrounded by people who respect and value you. Go 2006!
1/03/2006 08:55:04 PM
Siryn said…
It is like “He’s Not That Into You” – people that are “into you” will make an effort or reciprocate when you do. That said, you should not write them off to the point that when the absent-minded friend finally gets around to writing/calling that you are holding some kind of grudge and can’t rebuild the relationship. Don’t burn bridges behind you unless they completely disrespect you.
1/03/2006 10:50:23 PM
chicgirl said…
hahaha i66. you probably don’t remember me but i remember you from the blogger hh. you looked like such a sweet guy there (not the type that would turn my love yourself comment around)!
1/03/2006 11:11:49 PM
Reya Mellicker said…
Wow your resolutions are really powerful. May you triumph in this huge housecleaning for your heart!
1/04/2006 07:54:19 PM
pele said…
I think you figured out exactly the way things should go! If only someone had explained it to me at, say 16, then maybe people wouldn’t have walked all over me for the next 15 years, as I tried to see the best in everyone. Here’s to trying to be a good AND happy person! Happy belated New Years.
1/06/2006 11:40:53 AM