Apparently I enjoy the torture dispensed by the folks at Craigslist. Check this out:
- Read your ad on net and can’t belive that I could find some one as kool as u in my life time. well what can i say today is my day …. hey could u plz hang for a sec ……………………………………… ok! I am back .. sorry had to take this phone call. ok so what i was talking about … god .. i think i need memory upgrade ….. ok ok remember now …. ur search is over, cuz iu have found me … i am looking 4 same … yeah i know u might have heard it alot from prety much all the guys but this time its real .most of the guys who say that are big drama creaters themselves .. no no no NOT me. well i found a very u upfront, straight, bold, honest and interesting person .. well not as interesting as i am but still interesting enough ..ok ok calmn down i am just kidding …..:) i have many good things to tell about me so not sure where to start .. how about this .. let me give u brief intro and if u found urself interested reply and we will go from there .. i am 32, single, drama free guy .. i am well educated, down to earth (was just kidding up there … happen to have bad sence of humor), easy going person.
keep ambulance ready cuz i am sending u my pic. just incase u need medical assistance after seeing me .. no no not cuz i am ugly just cuz i am tooo cute …ahhahahah … cum on i just said i am down to earth … ok no jokes now … i am down 2 earth person and easy to get alone … just joke around .. hope u understand .. ok ok i know email is getting too long, so b4 u delete it even reading any further i let u go and will wait for ur reply
The rocket scientist never did attach that picture. I wrote back and simply said: “Are you SURE you’re well educated? I can’t make any sense of your email. Everything is spelled wrong, I can’t figure any of this out.” And I got this:
- thx for ur response … i am wondering if u r educated? yeah my spellings are messed up and run spell check is not my style … however u couldn’t make any sence out of it .. hummmmmm … wel that makes me wonder about ur credentials ….:) wel dear i am B.S in electrical and computer engineering and masters in information system … professional i work as an engineer for telecom company … may be my writting style is bit confusing to u … but thats what i am .. if u r still interested drop me a line …
Seriously. I was wondering how bad it has to get before it gets better. Shit. Spoke too soon.
- I am responding to your ad. I would like to meet up with you if it possible. I live and work in the Woodbridge area. I have a foot fetish. I am 5-10 tall and dark brown skin and 30 years old. Let me know if you interested
And the Velvet responds with: “You’re in luck. I happen to have not one, but two feet!” He hasn’t responded. Oh well.
Here’s what I posted.
I’ve met you all. First there was “Mr. I don’t care that you are pushing me away, I’ll stick my tongue further into your mouth, and grope you.” Then I met “Mr. I will send you massive amounts of text messages at all hours of the day and night.” Then I met “Mr. I’m going to disappear for a while, but when I come back, I’m going to unravel and go crazy on you.” Then I met “Mr. I think this could really go somewhere but oops, I’ve changed my mind.” What is it with Craigslist? Is there anyone normal out there? Should I give up? Should I bag this whole idea and become a nun?
Is there no one out there in their 30’s who has the combination of integrity and decent looks? I’m not looking for Brad Pitt, I’m looking for someone, normal. Just normal. Calls when he says he will. Opens doors for me. Went to college. Eh, screw it. Maybe you’re not there.