Not Safe for Family to Read. Okay??? You three. Get off here. Now!
I was driving to pick up some sushi today and something occurred to me that had me laughing so hard I almost had to pull over because I couldn’t see through the tears coming out of my eyes.
Someone I had sex with…um. Ok. I know I never talk about this kind of stuff, but this is just too good. Someone I had sex with was a little odd – like they either didn’t know what they were doing or they had a list of positions they wanted to do because they hadn’t done it in so long they had to make up for lost time. Anyway, something about the experience has stayed in my head, but not in a good way. It finally occurred to me that the reason I cannot look back fondly on this experience (among other things) is that he made this smile all during sex that was creepy. And as I’m driving along with my sushi, I scream, “THE JOKER! HE WAS THE JOKER!” So when I get back to work, I google image searched The Joker, and I got this, which is so uncanny of his facial expression during sex that I screamed out loud in my office. Fortunately they are used to that, and no one came running.
After I saw this picture, I realized there was something else about the face too. Not just the smile, but that whole eyebrow thing too. Ick. No wonder I never went back for more.
It made me reflect on some funny ass shit that has happened in the boudoir. But nothing, not even airplane bathroom mishaps and having someone stop right in the middle to declare that they have to pee, takes the cake over the man who will forever be known now as “The Joker.” I feel dirty. And not dirty in a good way. Dirty like I need a vaginal transplant to wash the shame out of me for that one.