Yes everyone. Last night yours truly went out with a man 15 years older than I am. I’m really pushing that age limit thing, aren’t I? It’s my hope that there is a point in time that these men actually grow up. Since we’ve discovered that most are children well through their 30’s, I set my sights on the 40’s. This one last night? 48 baby. When I went from dating the guy in the next dorm to the guy who is planning his 50th bash and doubling up his IRA contributions in preparation for retirement is beyond me.
I met him at a bar downtown. I’m over disclosing locations because frankly, I don’t need certain people showing up there. So, from here on out, any location I disclose will be a lie. Damn! Cause I hate lying to you kids.
I called from outside because I have not embraced that whole “walk into a bar looking for someone you probably won’t recognize” thing. We’re on the phone, find each other, and sit down. He’s really quite good looking. I order a beer, he is finishing what I assume to be his first gin and tonic, and orders a second. He informed me that he isn’t working this entire month, so he’s going to get good and liquored up. Um, okay. He made good on that bet, he really did drink a lot. He was drinking doubles the entire time. I had just my one beer. So, the drinking thing could be an issue. But anyway.
We had great conversation. We told stories, I’m full of them as a matter of fact. I never lack for conversation on a date. I had told him in an email that I was a bit gunshy, and he asked why last night. I had to recount the whole last 4 months of drama, and he said he’s surprised I’m dating at all. Then I told him I had a dating blog to support. KIDDING! I have learned, I will never do that again. He did garner major points for coming out with my favorite political statement ever: “I’m socially liberal and fiscally conservative.” Wooooo hoooo!!!!
He wanted to eat, so we got a table and ordered a bunch of appetizers and ate and ate and ate. He paid the bill, despite my attempts to throw money at him, and we made our way to the street. I said I was going to grab a cab, because of attempted mugging the other night, and he hailed one for me. A hug and a kiss goodbye and I was off. Verdict? I’d “throw him into the rotation” as the Queen of Quantity says, but I’m not sure. He sent me a text this morning and an email, saying he had a good time and wanted to do it again. I’m game, but I realize that I’m not as happy and smiley as I was say, after my first date with Sherlock. This leads me to wonder – am I losing steam again or is he just not the right guy? Jury still out.
So, back to last night for a second. The cabbie asks me how I’m doing and I tell him I’m fine, and that I’m taking this cab because I was almost mugged the other night. He starts telling me I need to get Tim Larkin’s self defense tapes or something. He spends the ride describing the tapes, telling me that the aim of them is to fight to kill, not fight to fight. The tapes allegedly tell you how to disarm someone in a few moves, by going for the pressure points. Then we get to my place and I’ve got one foot out of the car and he won’t stop talking. He puts the car in park. He takes off his seatbelt, he’s describing things in the tape, telling me I need to buy it. Then he turns off the engine and continues talking. So I’m like, “Holy hell, these tapes sound great.” I go upstairs and check it out online and find that the tapes cost a few million dollars.
I can always get suckered into buying things, especially with such an enthusiastic recommendation like that, but damn. Why are the tapes so expensive? If I knew how to kill someone with one shot of my hand to a body part, I’d tell everyone for free. Why charge so much money? I checked him out on some message boards and people didn’t have very nice things to say about him. Anyone hear of him? Anyone have any other ideas of what I could buy to learn? Perhaps I’m resigned to just breaking someone’s knee if they attack me, since that’s what I can do best.