Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I Just Can’t Look It’s Killing Me

I read the FUNNIEST article in one of my favorite fashion mags, Harper’s Bazaar, last week. I took a ghetto pic of the page, because I don’t have a way to scan this in color. So, check it out. Sorry for the blaring light reflection on the girl with the riding crop. Trust me, you’re not missing much behind that reflection.


Okay. Seriously. Look at the girl second from the right. I LOVE that face mask. Could I get a date with a mask over my face? I don’t know. But I’m willing to try. I could not stop laughing when I saw that. I would so love to show up on a date in a mask covering my face and not have the venue of our date be an S&M or Fetish club. (“No really, I’ll be the one in the mask!”) Too too funny. Actually, I’d probably need the riding crop for the fetish club. I’m sure someone there would want to be spanked. Anyway, the article was about a guy who looked at these clothes and wondered why women were so covered up all of a sudden.

I’ve read a couple fall issues of Bazaar and a couple fall issues of my other favorite, Lucky Magazine. Um. What the hell is going on? Why do I have to be subjected to these clothes? What happened to lady like high heels and wrap dresses? And, with the whole Greenhouse effect, winters just do not get as cold as they did when we were little ones. I remember several blizzards a year pummeling Connecticut as a child. Now? Sometimes we go all winter without a snowflake. With offices overheated to the point of scorching in January, we really don’t need to be this covered up.

Usually I spend way too much money on clothes and shoes. Breathing a huge sigh of relief, as that will not be happening this year. I will be wearing my stilettos through this stupid ballerina flats and ugly wedge season.


  1. I-66

    I think the Post was way ahead of Harper’s here.

  2. Cail

    Ugh. I’m with you. I’ve been almost reduced to tears on several occasions this fall as I’ve tried to find something (anything!) that I want to wear. Skinny pants- They look bad on models, so why would they look good on me? Babydoll tops- I’ll save those for being pregnant. 98 layers of clothes- If I wanted to look fat, I’d get fat. Bubble skirts- I remember my mom wearing them in 1984. My dad pointed out to me that I’m lucky that I buy expensive clothes, since it appears that I’ll be having to wear last year’s purchases again this year.

  3. Needtsza

    I just got shocked backward when I glanced over at That girl.

    Meanwhile, do people really dress like this? If so, time for new magazines to be published

  4. luck o' the irish

    Maybe THAT is my issue with dating in Baltimore. It’s the MASK! Or I should just go all the way and parade around in football helmet. YES! That’s IT. A Ravens helmet and perhaps I’ll have the men flocking!

  5. Siryn

    Could the chick in red appear any more drugged out? Eesh. Fugly is mos def the new pretty.

  6. Dara

    I could so totally rock the riding crop and weird hat look. Especially in court, when I get bored of black pantsuits and heels.


  7. scarlet

    It drives me crazy how warm places are kept in the fall/winter. How am I supposed to wear layers and wool and scarves and be comfortable??? There is nothing wrong with wearing more clothes in the winter so they need to keep the temps DOWN.

  8. Rachel

    I sit by the window at work and I am in Michigan. I usually wear very little in the summer and have to bundle up in the winter as the heat or cold does seep through the windows a bit. Right now I am enjoying a balmy 81 at my desk since it is sunny and in the 70’s. In the winter I am usually in the upper 60’s.
    When I didn’t sit by the window they had the a/c cranked so high I wore sweaters in the summer and winter.
    I think that skinny pants are promoting anorexia. The only people that look good in them are skeletal. The over emphasize every curve, lump and bump. I will pass.
    God save me from leggings. I thought I was done with that horror in the 90’s.
    At this rate stirrup pants are going to make a roaring comeback. Or Hammer pants. Eek!

  9. Old Lady

    Wal-mart lives!

  10. ashburnite

    I don’t get it…what’s wrong with those outfits? I would totally go out looking like that- especially with the riding crop.

    Seriously- is the girl in the middle (in white) wearing a garbage bag?

  11. barbara

    UGLY-UGLY-UGLY! We will be saving money this year. But wait a minute — who’s gonna buy all these ugly clothes? Is there a market for coverup? I can’t believe a red-blooded male designed this wardrobe…

  12. Stef

    I’m so out of fashion. I wear black or brown pants and sweater twinsets or button-down 3/4 sleeves shirts all winter, sometimes with a black or brown suit jacket. It just makes life easier and cheaper. I never would’ve guessed I’d become a mix-and-match person, but I have!

    If I saw someone wearing one of those outfits on a bus in DC, I’d burst out laughing!

  13. LadyDiDC

    You are right, the clothes this season are seriously ugly! It’s like the 80’s meets Amish Chic. You’ll never catch me in ballet flats or skinny jeans. I lived through the 80’s once, and have the good sense to be embarrassed about what I wore then. I have no desire to wear it ever again.

  14. bejeweled

    Girl, I tell you what. I totally agree w/ stilettos over those damn ballerina flats. Who buys those anyway? I just bought a pair of stiletto, knee high, black boots that are so hot! I might need that riding crop!

  15. KassyK

    I have to say I love ballerina flats and wedges (the dainty ones) and have been wearing both for years…BUT the rest of this garbage is exactly that…garbage. Who is wearing these scary balloon sleeve tops? WHO?!AAAAAAAAAH. Great post. 🙂

  16. VP of Dior

    i REALLY want to walk down the streets of DC in that equestrian outfit and make jokes about “riding” all day long.

    anyway, i love fall clothes sooo much. my fave new looks are leopard print (got the flats despite much debating) and chains/charm bracelets.

  17. Dan

    I’d just like to say there’s nothing sexier than a sundress and sandals. You all should wear that look all the time. 🙂

  18. Brunch Bird

    I interned at Harper’s Bazaar one summer during college. They all wore Club Monaco. It was hilarious.

  19. Ryane

    HAHA. I will never give over my stiletto heels and pointy toes for ugly, ballet flats. for the clothes, did you see the front page of the Style section today? Not those were some funny, fugly outfits…great post.

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