Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Hammer I Must, I’m Gonna Get Through Your Crust, Gonna Chip That Stone Away

Thank you, and thank you to you too.

And of course, now I know how the Post found my last, err, post.

Well, I’m going through an “I should be involved in more things” breakthrough, so I’m trying to actually leave Dupont Circle. It doesn’t happen often, but today, I ventured out. Um. To the Greek Embassy.

They were having a lecture and unveiling of the new Acropolis museum. Since I was just in Athens and the museum was closed – even though I breathed really hard on the glass doors and whined, “But I paid and it says on my ticket that the museum is included,” I decided to check it out. Truth be told, I’d much rather walk the 7 or so blocks to the Embassy than fly 10 hours back to Athens.

I mistakenly and naively thought I would be one of three people there. I was wrong. Holy Baklava Batman, it was standing room only, seriously. I told my parents earlier in the day that I was going over there and they were like, “DRESS NICE!” which translates into, “MAYBE YOU’LL FIND A GREEK HUSBAND.” I, of course, was late, and ended up taking a seat close to the back. From where I was sitting, it was less an exhibit on the Acropolis (which I couldn’t see quite well) and more an exhibit on really bad fashion (which I could see…all too well.) I also wanted to pose a question to the group: Am I the only one here who has washed my hair today? Just curious! I later discovered that it was because I was sitting near the archeological student contingent from the nearby universities. Whoo. Thank goodness they weren’t Greeks or I would have been running my own exhibit next week at the Embassy on personal grooming.

Anyway, the undercurrent of the evening was not that that this beautiful museum is now open in Athens, but that they are holding spaces open in the exhibit areas for the marbles that the Brits stole. In the very early 1800’s, Lord Elgin made it his business to dismantle parts of the Parthenon and take them back to London, where they now sit in the British Museum. (Someone even drew an interpretation of a guy climbing the Parthenon and chipping away at the stone.)

The Brits refuse to return them, stating stupid reasons like, “They belong here where all the world can enjoy them.” Part of the exhibit showed how they have half of the frescoes, and need the other halves which are, again, in FUCKING LONDON! God damned Brits! Give us back our MARBLES!!! (That was the cry of the evening and I quickly jumped on that bandwagon.) How would the Brits like it if we stole some of their non-rotten teeth and took them off to Athens? Huh? Oh, wait, maybe teeth was a bad example. Brits don’t have those.

Anyway, I joined their bandwagon. There’s nothing I love more than Greeks who hold a grudge.


  1. MA

    Amen, Sister! When I was in the British Museum, after spending the summer in your beloved Athens (many years ago), I met a Greek couple and we talked about how the friezes need to be returned to Greece.
    The woman said, “You are a Greek now!”

    So, can I join you in the grudge holding? I love being an honorary member of a people who can hold a grudge!

    Αδικος! Είναι ο ναός των Ελλήνων!

    And now I should go to bed. 🙂

  2. mysterygirl!

    It seems long overdue that these artifacts be returned to their rightful owners.

    Come sit next to me– I wash my hair every day!

  3. Bridal Bird

    I was in London this year and was positively disgusted by the explanations proferred by the British Museum. In addition to the “all the world can see them here” excuse on the Marbles, they also justified their stolen Egyptian antiquities by essentially saying “Look, that part of the world is totally fucked up now–do you seriously want those savages to have responsibility for these?” Barf.

  4. homeimprovementninja

    “Give us back our MARBLES!!!”

    So you’re saying the Greeks are upset because they’ve all lost their marbles? Interesting…

    By the way, I may need to take you up on that favor in the next couple of weeks.

  5. Velvet

    MA – They have a whole committee. I’ve emailed the director for info. I’ll let you know!

    MG! – I know you do! You have impeccable hygiene.

    BB – I’m amazed they don’t just give them back. England and Greece have been longtime allies. It makes no sense.

    Ninja – What favor? The last favor you asked of me was unbelievably bad, so if it is something like that bullshit, you can forget it.

  6. JohnnyDC

    As long as you’re there, can you get me a gyro?


  7. barbara

    So did you dress nice? They are going to be lucky to have you on their bandwagon. I can’t imagine anyone I would rather have if I had a cause of any kind.

    On the flip side, I actually wish someone had taken away all the stuff that got destroyed in the war in Iraq. Antiquities are not replaceable.

    But I do agree the Elgin Marbles should be returned. So go out there and make it happen!

  8. Patsy

    What are the chances, really, that you’d venture back to Greece to see the exhibit anyway? I’d be willing to bet you’d go to London before you’d ever go to Greece again. 😉

  9. Valley Girl

    lol@ “Holy Baklava Batman.” You’re too cute.

  10. nato

    If the Brits had to return everything they took from other countries, their museum would be very sad, composed of a few bits from the Romans, some fossilized blood pudding, and a text on the history of sheep (most likely involving plenty of sheep-PUA notes). No wonder they don’t want to give your marbles back.

  11. Not So Little Woman

    You are totally on point with the Brits taking what is not theirs and then refusing to give it back to the rightful owners. It’s completely self-centered and patronizing. I hate it when a country decides they are somehow smarter than the rest and therefore that entitles them to hold hostage the cultural heritage of others. England is not alone. Italy, the U.S. and France do the same. There are lots of Latin American things I would love to see at home but they cannot make it back because you know, someone else took it.

    Wow. Venting is good. Thanks for the opportunity, Velv.

  12. Hammer

    I been there and you know, and I’m not sure why they call it the British Museum – there ain’t nothin’ British in it. The Egyptians got cleaned out pretty good too, as I recall.

    Fight the power, Velvet. Fight the power.

  13. wildbill

    We need to develop a Compromise that everyone can live with: The English & Greek goverments agree to copy the Elgin Marbles using the latest in casting technology (marble dust mixed with acrylates) The copies are for the Brits- the Brits return the real marbles and everyone is happy (more or less) This also could work for many other marbles & bronses as well. See the american casting of Leonardo da vinci’s Horse for an example of what’s possible

    On the Larger scale, the return of “Lost” “stolen” “loaned” or tomb-raided antiquities follows closly the flow of Capital from rich-to-poor countries. It is the modern Gordian Knot in which many have a stake. Right now, in China, over 150 people have been put to death for finding & selling Artifacts.

  14. Velvet

    Johnny – Of course! You know that I’m at your service!

    Barbara – Well, the reason Lord Elgin took them was to “save” them from possible destruction. So that’s definitely a good thing, but yes, it’s time for them to come home.

    Patsy – SHHHH! (They might hear you!)

    Valley Girl – I try…

    Nato – Ha! That’s awesome. Well, shit, who does the Rosetta Stone belong to. Isn’t that in the British Museum?

    NSLW – I love the “I hate it when a country decides that they are smarter than the rest.” That is sort of the history between Britain and the states. We’re the snotty younger brother – not as refined, not as smart.

    Hammer – You’re right! I forgot that there’s a whole lot of non Brit stuff there. Hmm. So what does London have? Topshop and tabloids. Huh.

    Wild Bill – That is one of the suggestions on the table – making copies. But I believe the Brits had an answer for that too.

  15. nato

    Well now that Blair’s no longer PM, maybe someone should remind Bush that the Brits have gone nuclear and that they have a large Muslim (or should that be muslim? Too lazy to look it up, though. Damn) population. Time to get freedom marching all over the UK with an invasion. Although, considering what happened to Iraq’s museum pieces, maybe that isn’t such a great idea.

  16. TheBrit

    The majority of British people think it is time the Elgin Marbles were returned to Greece. It should be pointed out that America is hardly blameless on this subject – Marion True anyone? It is only last year that the Greek government persuaded the Getty Museum to return four artefacts.

  17. suicide_blond

    oh good..i was just looking for a good reason to be pissed off with the brits..
    and if sides have to be chosen..umm..i’m smart enough to know..NEVER chose silly brits over grudge holding greeks…

  18. Velvet

    Well well well. If it isn’t the Brit! I KNEW you were out there just biding your time until you could strike! Hey, no one said we were without blame (for many, many things) but this argument is strictly about the Greek marbles being in the British Museum. You’ll have to stick to the subject at hand or you’ll be spanked! (But I know you’ll like it!)

    Blonde! – HA! I love it. You’re just cruising around looking for a new bandwagon to jump on to. Awesome.

  19. freckledk

    Greedy cunts.

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