This one is pulled from the files of “Don’t Ya Hate it When Karma Bites You in Your FAT ASS!”
All of this is hypothetical. Of course. Of course! I always write hypothetically-speaking right?
Have you ever had something happen and someone who was “supposed” to be your friend decided to jump on the “anti-you” bandwagon and malign your name along with some other medicated tri-polar delusional “my life is so wonderful” hermit? And all the while these things are happening, legitimately happening, this “supposed friend” is possibly egging them on? So the issue gets swept under the mat, everyone goes their separate ways and no one hears a peep from the other side for a long time. But then, the “supposed friend” just happens to pop out of the woodwork and publicly malign your name again, for no reason, calling you many many names most of which really just apply to his or herself?
You, being of sound mind and better judgment than a year ago, a month ago, even a day ago, just laugh, and shake your head, and wonder, “Gee, what could still be bothering this person after all this time has gone by? Have they nothing else in their life?”
Then, during this new round of public maligning, the “supposed friend” has some sort of awakening and emails you. You – who they have said nothing but bad things about as recently as yesterday. What if you got this email and had to
read skim an entire dissertation on how the “now ex-supposed friend” was in danger and “since the same thing had happened to you could you please help me even though I didn’t believe you and now I realize I should have and even though I just said a bunch of nasty things about you yesterday and the day before and the day before that, I have no where else to turn and I’m so sorry I was such a bitch and so so so wish it could have played out differently especially because I think you are the only one who can helllllllp me!!!”
Silly, pathetic little loser. She should have added, “there’s not enough medication in the world to fix my crazy and I’m just an anorexic psycho who has no real friends.”
To say that you would laugh hysterically at this letter and say, “Thank you, since I don’t believe in God or whatever, thank you to whatever fates aligned to make this person’s life a miserable piece of shit,” would be an understatement. Really! It couldn’t have happened to a nicer, more deserving person!
Every dog gets their day in court.