X: I forgot to tell you! I had a dream about you last night!
V: Really? Was it about how you and #2 took my car to the car wash one afternoon and I stayed home and masturbated?
X: No. It was about…wait… Did you just do that while I was out washing your car?
X: We weren’t gone that long!
V: It doesn’t take long. Besides, with kids and family visits, it’s just been too long. I got tired of waiting.
X: But the mattress guys came and delivered in that time frame too?
V: I know. I sped it along when I heard the truck driving up the street.
X: Damn. You suck!
V: No. What sucks is they forgot the bed rails. So we have to drive out to the store in Rehoboth to get them.
#2: Velvet, Dad didn’t get all the bugs off your car because he didn’t want to pay for the triple foam wash.
V: How much would that have set you back?
X: Fifty Cents.
#2: V, I really have to question your taste in men.
To self: Bet the magic wand would spend 50 cents for a triple wash.