Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

When You Love Me, I’m On Top of the World

Okay. I lied about something. I’m not as “together” with the wedding as these past few posts may have indicated. There’s something I haven’t told a soul until, well, Sunday when X and I were walking the dogs and it just sort of popped out. I’ll just re-enact that.

X: How many nights are we blocking on the hotels? When do we leave for Connecticut?
Me: I was thinking Thursday.
X: Thursday? We’re getting married Friday. Is that going to be enough time?
Me: Well I hadn’t really planned on leaving earlier because of the dress.
X: What do you mean?
Me: Well, the dress will probably come in that week. I’m not sure what day.
X: Wait. What? What are you talking about?
Me: The dress. My dress. Should arrive that week.
X: Okay, and are you planning on having any alterations?
Me: Um. Well. I was sort of hoping no.
X: Is this a joke?
Me: No. Do I look like I’m joking?
X: Velvet. When are they shipping your dress?
Me: July 10.
X: And how long will it take to arrive?
Me: I don’t know. They said 10 days to get through customs.
X: Aren’t you worried?
Me: Frankly, yes, but the manager called them and assured me the dress would be here on time. I haven’t really wanted to believe anything otherwise.
X: What if it doesn’t get here in time?
Me: I don’t want to talk about this. At all. I don’t want to believe anything other than that this will all work out for me.

This is typical of me. I stick my head in the sand and hope that things will work out. I’ll control the hell out of the stupid details in life, but the big ones? I make rash decisions and fly by the seat of my pants on the details. It’s fun living like this to be quite honest because I can really get shit done. This is how I decided (and got) my real estate license in D.C., Maryland and Virginia in record time. This is how I decided I wanted to get an MBA in August, 2001 when I was living in Phoenix, and was sitting in a classroom in Baltimore come January, 2002. This is how I packed a truck and moved to Atlanta to live with my ex without really thinking it through. Sometimes it’s a win, sometimes it’s not – like when I stayed at the Vortex way too long when I should have taken my life and soul and exited that place long before it became the nightmare it did.

Back to the dress.

Since this conversation with X, I have been really bothered by my lack of responsibility. Even though the store convinced me that the dress would arrive on time, a little light googling on another topic and I found a bunch of reviews of the alterations department of said location, and they were all bad. Okay. So I won’t get it altered there. But then I found scores of reviews on sites I have never heard of, all saying that their dresses arrived 2-3 weeks late. Rut-ro.

July 10th plus 2 weeks is one day after the wedding. That will not work for me.

I spent no less than 15 hours online Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights seeking a backup plan. I went through The Knot in painstaking agony identifying other dress possibilities. I saved them as favorites, and cross referenced all the style numbers into the following sites:

Pre-Owned Wedding Dresses
Once Wed
Wore it Once
Recycled Bride
Bravo Bride
Wedding Dress Market

By the time I was done with that I was ready to stick my finger down my throat and vom. Do you know how many brides out there are selling size zero and 2 dresses? A whole hell of a lot. And I swear to you that I saw Oprah sized arms coming out of what someone called a size 6. Slap margarine on my butter, lady, if you are a size 6 (which in bridal, is a size 2) then I’m writing this from Bret Michael’s bedside. (Oh poor Bret, please get better!)

Finally I found nine very viable options, and started ruling out. I googled everything. I found message boards debating two of my chosen styles over each other, with 20 replies. I wondered who the hell finds time to debate wedding dresses with complete strangers online, but then, hello, uh, me, 15 hours online between Sunday and Tuesday, and uh, you people, most of whom I don’t know, reading about what a moron I am. Gotcha.

Narrowed it down to 2 options, and then to one option – a dress so wonderful I’m giddy thinking about it. It’s not a replacement. It’s number 2. I want to be clear about that. But still, a fantastic backup. Then I found a store that carried the brand. And guess who drove to Capitol Hill to find that store shut down? Yup. Then I checked my list and realized the next closest store was in some place my old Developer boss used to send me to for various work errands, and he would warn me to not get shot. Suitland maybe? District Heights?   And what I found out there at Lefty’s Bridal? Changed my life.

I bought a backup dress, sight unseen. It will be here in June. Lefty is this amazing lady, she has a fashion degree, does all the alterations herself, and she and her husband run the shop out of their home. They were in there helping their drop dead gorgeous daughter get fitted for her prom dress and grabbed a similar dress for me to try, eyeballed my size, did the measurements and I handed over my card. They also gave me a great price – less than what some of these broads are selling their cast-off size 2’s for online. Any of you getting married? Email me. We’re going to Lefty’s.

Let’s revisit the shoes for a second…

Still love them, but they are currently in a box on a UPS truck on their way back to Piperlime. You know how when you have a pair of heels for 20 years and they look all raggedy and out of shape? Yep. That’s what they sent me. No packing material, and they were scuffed AND WORN before. Ugh. Buh-bye. I’ll buy my shoes in person Bloomingdales, because it’s like no other store in the world.


  1. chris

    oh man I am DYING at the image of you on TheKnot message boards. 2 years of my life was sucked away by that stupid forum and then I graduated to TheNest. I managed to escape before TheBump got me.

  2. Carla

    I’m addicted to the Wedding Bee. And now totally curious on this Lefty Bridal store, since my dress (that will be ready for pick up tomorrow) has given me TONS of doubts. I should have known better than bought the second dress I tried on… Hopefully seeing it in person again will ease my doubts…

    Still 7 months to go until my wedding, but I’m so eager to check off those “to do” boxes…

  3. Shannon

    It’s a shame we’re not the same size, because then I could have just given you my dress!

    I used to have a blast on the Knot boards, as JustElope!, laughing at people who were engaged in lively debates over peonies vs. hydrangeas. Or Lonestar vs. Savage Garden for the first dance. Or Manolos vs. Jimmy Choos (really, if your gown is floor-length, you could be wearing light-up platform jelly shoes for all anyone knows. Come to think of it, if I get married again I’m TOTALLY going to wear light-up shoes.)

  4. Velvet

    Chris – I didn’t participate in the boards, I was just sort of a stunned lurker. I can’t believe the excruciating detail these chicks hash and rehash for 20, 30, 40 back and forth posts. Wow.

    Carla – The Wedding Bee? Christ. Now I have another one to check out. Thanks a lot. Grumble. Okay, we’ve discussed the dress stuff. We’re going to Lefty’s. Let me know tomorrow what you think when you have the dress in your possession. Remember, the question you have to ask yourself is, “Is this the dress?”

    Shannon – NO ONE in the world is your size! You are one of those evil size 2’s I despise so much!!! So here’s a question – what did you do with your wedding dress? God. What will I do with mine? I have 2 now. Shit.

  5. Shannon

    Velvet – I still have mine. I never got around to getting rid of it, so I’m having a giveaway on my blog now.

    Apparently, you can ship your gown to Brides for Breast Cancer and they’ll sell it for you. Tax deduction and good works?

  6. Sally

    Wow, this turned in to a wedding blog quick! I’ll still eagerly read you, but I don’t even want to know about “TheNest” and “TheBump.”

    I will throw in my 2-cents. When I got married I bought a simple $300 dress off the rack (think Carolyn Bissett) and a $1200 pair of shoes. I still get compliments on the shoes.

    Velvet, I posted this blast from the past ( to my blog today and I thought you’d get a kick out of it. I was a lurker back then but I think you were on the front lines. Would love to hear your recollections.

  7. Velvet

    Sally – I don’t know about the Nest…I’m not even sure why that’s necessary in life! X and I aren’t registering. There’s no need. I just can’t put together a list of crap I really don’t need and ask people to give it to me. I think I would rather people just donate to the ASPCA or the Humane Society.

    I just “revisited” the impact of blog wars etc, with X because we’ve had a bit of a non-blog related issue with personal information threatening to be released online. The details are impressive. I continue to be shocked at people’s stupidity about the “fingerprint” of the internet. In any case, you know I always stand up to any and all internet bullying. I’m happy to have gracefully bowed out of all that blog stuff years ago. The truth really is that the reason X and I are having such a small wedding is that I don’t do well with being the focus of so much attention and neither does he. When “Velvet” was a huge blog, relatively speaking, it was scary for me. People figuring out where I live, or thinking I was a “public” personality – it was too much. I have too much anxiety to be on the front lines like that. I like living an offline life with just a few friends who follow me online still.

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