Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Now That I’m Starting to Learn I Feel I’m Growing Old

Damn It’s busy. The nature of my work seems to come in waves and I’m in the middle of one now. Then of course all the other crap that comes with life slaps me around and I have to delegate half of my “to-do” list to X, which doesn’t exactly thrill him. I don’t believe this will let up until mid-June, at which point, X and I are going on an early 1 year anniversary trip. More on that in a second.

Let’s see. Other updates. About a month ago I had a fight with Gloom, she hung up on me, and that was that. We haven’t talked since. I didn’t deserve that treatment and until someone can grow up and act like an adult, I have nothing to say.

I flew down to Florida for a couple days to see my dad and drive with him back up the coast to the gates of hell to my parent’s house and I saw the infamous White House crashing Salahi’s in the airport. Yeah, I know. Boring. Worse was that I called my gay friend and he was like, “OH MY GOD I LOVE HER GO GET A PICTURE” so I stalked them through the terminal. Yeah, I know. Loser. I finally found them sitting in an empty gate waiting to board a flight going to New York. The weird thing was they were sitting in a row of seats, with 2 empties between them. My gay friend dared me to go sit between them. And of course my Real Housewives message board friends reported that the Salahi’s were doing Celebrity Rehab and something with TMZ which maybe explained their trip. Yeah. I know. I need a life.

I started a contract job for a friend of mine, managing a community in Maryland. It’s good to be back on a schedule because working for myself and trying to stick to a clock, well, I am the sucks. I don’t hold myself to any sort of goal structure and I’m really easy on myself. It’s better for me to actually have to report to someone else. X says I can report to him but those days are over. He’s my bitch now!

Speaking of not being on a schedule, in my other life as the Real Estate Agent, I had a transaction with unbelievable dreams for clients – just the sweetest, funniest, smart-about-real estate people you would want. The problem would be the agent on the other side of the transaction. I used to take the comments about Real Estate Agents personally, but this person made me realize why people HATE Real Estate Agents. I’m embarrassed to share a profession with this person, much less walk the same earth.

The plan to move to NY is on hold, I’m not sure for how long. See aforementioned phone call hang up and somehow my idea to move back there doesn’t seem as good. Maybe I’ll change my mind again but for right now, the money is here, the jobs are here, and so it makes the most sense to stay put. I can’t believe it either. It’s certainly not my first choice, but that’s where we are.

Okay, so the anniversary trip. I believe I have hatched my most brilliant idea since, well, ever. We all know real estate in Florida has taken one of the worst dives in the country…so…I was thinking. Wouldn’t now be a good time to snap up a condo in Florida, plan to pay it off, then retire there in 20 years? The benefit of marrying someone older is they’ll have to retire when you’re still young and spry and you’ll be the hottest trophy wife in Del Boca Vista. Hopefully.

Retirement homes. These are the things that make me happy now. I know. It’s totally different than the old days of Velvet where I used to start out with “So this guy pulled out his cock at a bar.”

8 Comments

  1. Washington "Put That Thing Away" Cube

    Don’t worry, Babes. Some old guy with dementia will be pulling his cock out poolside at Boca Roca. It’s all cyclical.

    Try to work on the Mom thing. Everyone has issues with their parents, and I speak from “they are gone,” so no more “It’s YOU,” calls.

    I am deep in doo doo to do. I set goals and hope for the best.

    On the other hand….my early daffodils and jonquils are blooming.

  2. Siryn

    Glad you’ll get to stick around. Maybe we can actually get together and do lunch!!

    As for buying in Florida… hm. It’s an idea. But I think you’ll find better deals outside of the eastern coast. I know a luxury condo development in Manatee County that is almost empty because the good times stopped being so good. It’s beautiful, and so wasted. I wonder what the going rate is for them, since it’s largely vacant.

  3. Velvet

    Cube – he might pull it out, but a likelier scenario might be it just falling out of his speedo. As for the Gloom thing, I’ve tried. Any goodwill is slapped in the face with nasty comments. I’m done unless there’s an apology forthcoming.

    Siryn – We’re thinking of the Gulf coast or the keys. It would be my dream to have a place in the keys, it’s one of my favorite places on earth.

  4. Amy

    OMG! I have totally had the same idea about Florida! I would love to have a place in the keys too, but have considered Pensacola since my fam is from there. Also, you can buy a house with the ocean 50 steps away on one side, and the bay in your front yard on the other.

    Our tentative plan now is to buy one of those houses for ridiculously cheap and move to the Caribbean in 2 years.

    I’m glad that business is booming. Did X retire? I may have missed that.

  5. Velvet

    Amy – YES!!! My thinking is like I said, get it now because these prices are INSANE (as Crazy Eddie used to say) and get it paid off while we’re working. My friends have a place in Destin and they love it there. The only thing about that part of FL is seasons!

    Business is busy, but not necessarily booming, unfortunately. It’s like we have to do everything three times before it’s done, but that’s the way of life now I suppose. X is still working. He still has a lazy ex-wife to pay for. Can someone mail her the classifieds?

  6. Barbara

    You are definitely approaching middle age. What a transformation! At least I’m not exhausted when I reach the end of a post any longer.

    If you are buying in Florida, make sure to get something that won’t be swept away by a hurricane. They come there frequently and a beach can change a lot as a result. Remember I grew up on the infamous PC Beach.

  7. Encee

    To Amy: Is that really true about real estate in Pensacola?

  8. Amy

    Encee,

    Yes!! We stayed there last year and it was heaven! You go down the peninsula that is Pensacola, almost to the end. The bay is on one side, ocean on the other, and then there are canals in the back, so you can dock your boat.

    But as Barbara says, they are in the path of hurricanes big time. The houses are built up on top of the garage which can be opened at both ends to let the water flow through during a storm.

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