Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

High Heel Drag Race Tonight!!

It’s very exciting that the drag race is tonight. It would be more exciting if I wasn’t sick.

Ok, let’s get to it. What the hell does this mean and why has it landed in MY personals inbox?

How are you doing,i want you to know this babe, Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end..I’m talking about fate here – when feelings are so powerful it’s as if some force beyond your control is guiding you to someone who can make you happy beyond your wildest John my nick is Kan

It is the rule of Velvet to write back to one and all. Even though they so carelessly send obvious cut and pastes to thousands of women, I feel that a personal email deserves a personal answer – even if I really have nothing to say. So I wrote “Thanks for your email.” I know that in this blog I am a woman of words, but, I really had nothing else to say to that rambling. Still, it didn’t deter him. Here we go:

I’ve fallen in love with you and I’ll never let you go. I love you more than anyone, I just had to let you know. And if you ever wonder why, I don’t know what I’ll say, but I’ll never stop loving you, each and every day…If a hug represented how much I loved you, I would hold you in my arms forever..If the days won’t allow us to see each other, memories will, and if my eyes can’t see you, my heart will never forget you

I must tell him to consult this post on stalking. I would like to think he just copied something from a poem or a song. I’m not even sure what I’m reading. And his picture! Oy Vey. It’s like he lifted it from some modeling catalog. (Cough cough, who would EVER do something like that…flashback…BoyFace…fake profile.) Fine, I admit it, I’m an expert at picking out a fake picture. Fuck it, let’s do the picture:

I know it’s not cool, but listen, this is FAKE. We all know it.

I have got to dump that account. It’s proven to be nothing except a magnet for losers, psychotics, neurotics, non-English speaking foreigners, and old men seeking sex slaves.

What ever happened to the good old days of picking up a man in a bar. Oh, wait…


  1. A Unique Alias

    Creepy creepy picture.

  2. Kristin

    Have you googled the lyrics, I mean, words from the message? ‘Cause it sounds an awful lot like “I will always be there for you” a best friend poem, by Yemi Ojo, combined with a line from a “Love, Romance and Relationship Resources Including Greetings Cards” website.

    Good times.

  3. Velvet

    I think the picture has got to be from some men’s clothing catalog. My brother once had an online profile and he used this picture of a gorilla from Land of the Lost. And girls were writing to him, it was hilarious.

    Googling lyrics now, but his non-English way of spelling things leads me to wonder if I would be able to find it.

  4. Sub Girl


  5. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Dude definitely has that psycho look in his eyes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2024 Velvet in Dupont

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑