Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Young At Heart And It Gets So Hard To Wait, When No One I Know Can Seem To Help Me Now

Dating recommences! I shouldn’t use that exclamation point. It’s not that exciting. I’ll make it quick. Try not to fall into a coma while reading.

I bounced my ass (and seven eighths of my face) back into the middle of the dating scene. Tonight was the first of a few dates I have lined up.

I met Steve1 at Cafe Citron. That place was packed. And it was so ridiculously loud that we ended up leaving after a couple drinks and wandered up to Kramerbooks. (Am I getting old? It was too loud?) We ate at Kramer, did some book shopping, and parted ways on Connecticut Avenue with a hug. There are no details. I tried to imagine myself kissing him and I didn’t feel it.

Do you know that scene in one of my all time favorite Christmas stories, The Grinch, where they show his heart and it’s the size of a pea? That’s me.

I talked to my brother yesterday and I was telling him how I’ve lost my ability to have emotion about anything. He said, “Oh no.” I said, “What, will this go away?” And he said, “You’re ready….you’re ready to meet someone and be serious.” I, of course, don’t think so. I love dating and then recanting the stories – both good and bad. I know that it can’t go on forever because eventually I will just give up entirely and stay home. I’ll be forever destined to blog about my dogs…the only true loves of my life. Well, them and that other guy from my damn dreams.


  1. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Sorry the first date back was a snooze. When do you go out with Steve2?

  2. Jo

    Scratch out dogs, put in cats, and we’re staring into the same future 😉 Wooo Hooo… or not… lol

  3. A Unique Alias

    You know, dogblogging is fine, but please, please never write another post from their perspective. That’s the beginning of the one-way trip to spinstervilleburgtown.

  4. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    That, and having them call you “Mommy.”

  5. Velvet

    Uh, but I AM their mommy. Look, I can’t control these dogs. They can log in to blogger. They probably have their own blog. Christ people. Aren’t your animals smart or do they just sit around licking their asses?

  6. I-66

    it’s true.. there is a parental element at work here.

    And Velvet, in the future I will do what I can to stay out of your dreams. No promises though.

  7. Johnny

    do you really want to fall in love with another guy? cause he might just be a screw up and then your illusions of penile grandeur would be shattered and one might just live the rest of one’s life a bitter sexpot.

    I’m just sayin.

  8. Virgle Kent

    This might be the most depressing blog in all of D.C. Whatever you do dont listen to any Bright Eyes or Death Cab for Cutie while drinking heavily with a bottle of sleeping pills near by. I’m telling you first hand nothing good can come of it.

    By the way not being a hater at all, just observing.

  9. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Um, I have no animals, darling. I’ve often thought that people tend to fall into one of two camps (generally) – they go ga-ga over pets, or they go ga-ga over babies. I’m more of a baby type, myself (not that I want one of my own – just sayin’).

  10. Velvet

    RC – I shall warn Zookeeper that possible baby-Zookeeper will soon be on the way. Just kidding.

    Virgle Kent: Fuck off. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Go read an Archie Comic or something to make you all happy and shit.

  11. Jamy

    You can only like pets or babies? You’ve got to be kidding. I’m a cat mommy and there’s not a darn thing I can do about it but it hasn’t diminished my love of humankind (including babies) one bit.

    BTW, there are MUCH more depressing blogs out there. This is a funny blog. Get with the program.

  12. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Naw, I’m not saying that you MUST like one or the other – just *generally* that I’ve noticed people tend to fall into one camp or the other. But, hey, whatevs. 😉

    Velvet, I would say that the chances of a baby ANYTHING coming from my body are slim to none. 😉

  13. Kristin

    I have got to get out of working all day… I’ve missed some major blogging, commenting, snarking, whatever.

    You probably haven’t lost all emotion. Look at the dreams. Look at your dogs. Maybe you’re just not in a dating place right now. I think it would be kind of creepy if your whole life revolved around finding the perfect guy. And depressing.

  14. Velvet

    Aww…thanks to my girls (Jamy, RC, Kristin) for making me feel better!!

  15. Anonymous

    Would it be possible that I might know who you think is settling in one of your old posts? (my neighbor perhaps)


  16. Velvet

    Oh no! Laura – does she read this? She’s going to see your comment.

    I must say, I’m surprised at our friend.

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