Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I’m Having The Time Of My Life, What A Sweet Sweet Life It Is

I cannot believe my life. My neighbor said, “I cannot believe your life.” BestGuyFriend-M said, “I cannot believe the shit that happens to you.” It’s true.

Friday morning I woke up thinking that I had a personal training appointment at 11:00 a.m. I did some work in the morning and started to get ready. Then I checked my email and Hot Trainer said he had a doctor’s appointment because his eye was red and irritated so he had to push it until 1:00. I said ok, but then he canceled entirely. Let’s take a look at the evolution of this conversation.

Hot Trainer: I tried calling you and I got a song. {Velvet has Verizon Ringback Tones.} I need to change our time to 1:00 if possible because I am on my way to the doctor for a problem with my eye.
Velvet: No problem. Fix your eye and I’ll see you at 1:00.
{In the interim, HT called me but I lost my connection and since he was at the gym I didn’t want to go through the hassle of calling back and trying to get him on the phone. Emails resume.}
HT: Did you hang up on me? Call me.
Velvet: No, I lost my signal and then waited for you to call back but my brother called. Sorry. I can call you back in a few or we can work it out by email. Your choice.
HT: I can come in Sunday around 2 if you like.
Velvet: Sunday works for me.
HT: Thanks. You are totally the best. I owe you lunch and coffee.
Velvet: It’s a deal. And I’m sorry, but aren’t you the one coming in on your day off?
HT: Ok. You owe me dinner then.
Velvet: What? How the hell did that just happen? If you owe me, then it’s lunch and if I owe you then it’s dinner? Huh. I’ve been swindled, but ok.
HT: I’m smooth. So when do I get dinner?

Now, you see? How do they do that? They work their way in and ask you out without really asking you out. Ok. So I end up going up to the gym to workout and I see him when I walk in. We have a conversation and I can tell from how he’s acting that he’s serious, and this wasn’t just a flirty game we were playing. I continue my workout and he keeps coming to find me to say little things to me – one of which being something to the effect of us going out this weekend. So when I’m ready to leave I say, “Bye, see you on Sunday.” And he goes, “What about tomorrow?” I said, “What about tomorrow?” He said, “I thought we were doing something.” I said, “Ok, we can do something.” Then he says, “Well, I didn’t know if you were busy or not, I mean, can you squeeze me in between all your men?”

Heh heh heh. Can I?

So I get home to an email that he has a whole plan for our Saturday date. Gotta love a man with a plan.

I’m trying to get out the door for my It’s Just a Nightmare, er, Lunch date, which was really drinks in Georgetown. Fucking Georgetown, it’s so damn expensive to get into or out of there. After spending a zillion dollars and a second mortgage in cab fare, I get there only to find out that AGAIN, he doesn’t show up. I say again because the last time these assholes sent me somewhere that I had no choice but to take a cab, the dude also didn’t show up. Annoying. Well, ultimately not so annoying. Read on.

Hot trainer and I were texting the whole time. When he heard that my “plans with my girlfriend” were off, he told me to come over. And I did. Only after I was in a cab back in Dupont, so it was a $17 cab ride, and we picked up some chick who may or may not have been a transvestite on the way. She looked desperate for a cab so I told her to get in. Christina was her name. Should have told her about the blog.

Anyway, what happened? Lots of stuff. He’s very nice. He told me that he had asked me (I don’t remember any of this) what I was doing for Thanksgiving and I said nothing and he said he wanted to ask me to do something back then. Huh. He cooked me dinner. (What is going on here?) He said a lot of things like that that made me wonder why he would pick me with all the girls who go into that gym. He said he never really talked to anyone like he talks to me, and then he said what I always get: “I feel like I could tell you anything.” What? Why do I get that? I’m one of the biggest assholes I know. I don’t know why people say that to me.

Oh. One more thing. He’s a good kisser.

Twelve Noon Update:
He called. He’s having second thoughts about us dating when the gym has strict rules about dating both employees and members. Huh. Isn’t it a little late for all this? I would normally suspect that the guy just wasn’t that into me, but in this case I’m not so sure. Not by the things he says. Not by the way he doesn’t want to get off the phone with me. Well, I’m sure there’s going to be more to come.


  1. Larissa

    Weird. He sounds SO into you, and then freaks out shortly after? So annoying! This has happened to me before, and I still don’t get it! Some times I think guys can freak themselves out before we even have the chance to do it ourselves :-).

  2. Larissa

    oh and i forgot to mention, if you love the panda, then check out this blog. it’s hilarious!

  3. AsianMistress

    Very interesting I can’t wait to hear more!!!

  4. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Thanks for the nice wishes, Velv. 🙂

    How ODD about the trainer. Did you get all weird on him last night, woman? Maybe talk about the wedding dress you’ve already picked out, and the names you’ve selected for your future children? (Heh… you know I’m kidding.)

  5. Velvet

    RC – You know me better! He spent the night trying to figure me out. Best I can come up with is that he thinks this won’t just be a fling, that it will be more than that, and he’s scared. No clue.

    All I know is that the 4 p.m. update is that we haven’t stopped emailing and texting all day. And I’m on my way over there.

  6. A Unique Alias

    This post has been removed by the author.

  7. Reya Mellicker

    How do you feel about him? Lukewarm? Sizzling? Cautious? I couldn’t tell. Looking forward to more updates!

  8. Kristin

    What is this life that you lead?!? Seriously. No, seriously. Can’t wait for updates.

    Oh, and we’re still working on the panda liberation/relocation to Velvet’s place in Dupont project.

  9. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Heh… trying again. 😉

    Cool beanie weenies, Velv – I can’t wait to hear more!

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