Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Can You Help Me Unravel My Latest Mistake?

I had my interview with the reporter from Consumer Affairs. It’s safe to say that It’s Just Lunch is It’s Just in Trouble for all their scheming and lying. There are two issues here for those of you in the dark. 1) The quality of their “clients” is not what they maintain; 2) They can’t follow simple instructions resulting in them screwing up many important details of the dates like the day, time, location or something insignificant like the guy’s freaking name. I explained to the reporter that while they blatantly misrepresent the quality of their clients, this is subjective, and I’m willing to overlook it. The problem is their incompetence with doing what they are supposed to specialize in – handle the details. People please. I beg of you. No one should ever do this service, nor should they recommend it to their friends. Promise to ignore the happy little ads in the City Paper where they promise to be your “personal assistant” in dating land. They are more like a “personal thorn in your side.” Thank you. That is all on that matter.

For a Monday morning, I was a busy bitch. You would think Monday morning would be about regrouping with work issues, but nope. By 10:00 I had spoken to two of my three CL men and set up tentative dates for this week.

CL#1Writer called and asked what my plans are for this week. I think I don’t want to go out with him anymore, yet I heard myself saying, “Ok, sure!” I need to correct that. It’s not right to go on when there’s no chemistry. But I’m thinking about setting him up with a friend. How can I tactfully go about that?

CL#3TextTormenter called and I didn’t answer because I wanted to hear his message so I could understand his frame of mind before I called back. He sounded sincere and apologized for the drink and dial on his voicemail so I called him back. The tables have turned a bit. He was the cocky, loud, aggressor before. But he was like, “Listen, I’m glad you called back.” Uh huh. We also made tentative plans for this week. All of this would be business as usual, and I could end this snippet right here, but, there’s a twist. It seems that this man has dated enough women to support his own blog. Interestingly enough, one of those he’s dated is someone we all know and love. While this isn’t a deal breaker (remember, I already figured him for a dick and now want to torment him on a date,) I did get to have a fascinating conversation with Kathryn and now I can’t wait to compare notes. Evil, I know. Cry me a river. Guys have been doing this to women for years.

CL#2BlueEyes is still emailing, said he has been trying to find time to call but with Christmas shopping (an admittedly poor excuse on his part) he hasn’t been able to. He’s quite cute though. Borrowed from Cookie, Meow!

Tis the season to be dating, fa la la la la, la la la la.


  1. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    Oh boy… emailing on you CL#3. Wow.

  2. Washington Cube

    It’s the Miracle of Connecticut Avenue that you are juggling all of this during this week. Good luck.

  3. Jamy

    If you really want to set up CL#1 with a friend, say, “I was planning to go see this ‘Post Secret’ show on Thursday with some friends. Care to join us?”

    Just a thought. 🙂

    There is a chance that he’ll think you REALLY like him because you’re introducing him to your friends, but it will also give your friends a chance to decide if SHE wants to be set up.

  4. Johnny

    I was just going to ask you if Just Lunch tried to sell you something, and if they did, dont you think they have “Hospital Syndrome”, ie if we cure all the sick people, who will be our patients? So if they marry off all their datees, who will be their customers? So its theoretically possible that its in their best interests to mix and match people who are like kind close but kinda annoying too so they can continually loop these people around the dating circuit and into their pocketbooks. yada yada yada.

    Its all theoretically sound, velvet!

  5. Kathryn

    OK, “dated” is a really, really strong word!!! Two dates off Friendster, no kissing, and NO hand-holding, is not “dated.” Right?

    But it’s muy hilarioso and I’m dying to hear what happens next. 🙂

  6. Sharkbait

    I can’t keep up.

    I am a sad excuse for a Greek.

    ::hangs my head in shame::

  7. Velvet

    Cube – You made the Express of the Post!

    Jamy – That is an interesting idea. I should ask that friend if SHE wants to go to the Post Secret show. I also have to have a reason why I have to get to bed early so there’s no kissing that leads to other things.

    Johnny – I hardly recognize you without your usual X rated comment! Kidding! I agree, but at some point they have to have at least ONE satisfied customer.

    Kathryn – Ok ok, not “dated” but how about, “went out with.”

    Sharkie – This is why there’s a blog. It’s like a scorecard, a cheatsheet. Imagine if I was calling you with all this info. It would be massively confusing.

  8. Anonymous


    This is Martin here, aka Boztopia. It was a pleasure to meet you last night formally, and don’t worry, those pictures will never see the light of day. Wink wink. 🙂

    By the way, you have to tell me who you interviewed with for Consumer Affairs. Why? Because I write for them too! Truly, a small world.

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