Scroll down. I’m posting like every hour now. These guys are FREAKS. I would like to state for the record, that these pics with the shirt off are completely ridiculous. About 50% of my responses are shirtless.
New Freak’s first email to me:
Wow, you’re right, according to your ad you’re not like most girls. Well, you sound laid-back, and I like that quality in a woman. Hi, my name is Chris, and I live in DC. I’m 30 years old, 5’10, with short brown hair, and light green eyes. I work out 4 times a week, but mainly just cardio, so I have a decent body. I like to have a good time, but can also carry on a good conversation. I like movies, art, going out to dinner, or just sipping mint tea in Adams Morgan. I’ve lived in DC for the past 8 years, and I know all the best places to eat! If you’re interested in meeting a warm person with a good sense of humor, then we should get together for that mint tea. Talk to you soon! Chris 🙂
Ok. This man is not Velvet’s type. So I email back:
You men and your shirt off pictures are everywhere. I have more men with their shirt off pics in my inbox than, well, anyone else I know. I don’t think we are a match though. Thank you for the email.
And I get this:
Well, that’s the only pic I had at work. Hmm, maybe you’re not as laid-back as you once proclaimed missy.
And I think: Dickwad. So I write this:
Ok. Now I have to ask. Why on earth would you have that picture at work? My my.
So he writes this:
I grabbed it from an old email…….wow, you are DEFINITELY not laid-back at all!
And I write:
What are you talking about? This is hilarious. You had a half naked pic of yourself at work. Hilarious.
So I get this:
LAID BACK: adj. not taking things too seriously, willing to accept unconventional ideas without scorn. See also: not Stacy. It’s hilarious that I had a picture of myself in Ocean City at the beach in my email folder? Half-naked? Hahahahahahahaa you sound like a 12 year old. Seriously, I definitely don’t want to hang out with someone who thinks a guy in swim trunks is showing too much skin. Oh, by the way, the 1920s called. They want their sense of shame back.
And I write:
Wow. You are snippy. I’m totally joking with you. When you grab your dictionary again, look up “psycho” and see if your pic is there. Christ. You are a mess aren’t you.
He comes back with an email that says he’s not serious, he’s being sarcastic. And I say, I’ve already had one unravel today so I wasn’t surprised actually. Then he writes back and says, “Ok, send a picture.”
I don’t wanna. He grosses me out now.
Ten minutes after the last email, he sends another one: “Seriously, are you going to send that picture?” Ten more minutes after that, “Yeah, you suck.”
What is wrong with these people? No wonder these deranged defects are single. Wait. What does that say about me? Damn.