The Date Update.
CL#4NewJersey called me yesterday afternoon as I was in the middle of refinancing my condo so I could pay for my purchases at Target. (“I just need to pick up one thing.”) So I told him I would call him back when I got back into D.C. He said he wanted to go to the gym, and asked if he had time. I said “Of course – go right ahead. Let’s aim for 8?” We agreed, but I called him anyway when I got back to D.C. at 6:15. I left him a message, knowing he was at the gym and said he wouldn’t pick up, and then realized by 7:30 I had not heard from him. So I walked the dogs, but I was unsure about getting ready or not. By 8:00, I was half dressed and laying on my bed doing a crossword puzzle. Then he called.
Him: “I’m downstairs.”
Me: “Holy shit! What??”
I buzzed him in, he came up, walked in without knocking (I like that, but only because I feel comfortable with him) and then he bent down to play with the dogs. Any anger I had about not getting a heads up “I’m on my way” phone call disappeared as he bent down and asked Sammy how his back was feeling. I could so fall in love with this man. Jinx. Damn!
I finished getting ready as he watched T.V. and then he said, “It’s good to know that you’re late because I’m always late.” I said, “I wouldn’t have been late if you called and told me you were on your way.” He said with a big smile on his face and in his usual wiseass manner, “Oh, so it’s my fault you’re late?” Ok ok, so we have gotten into the method of his madness a little. Communication: not his forte.
Off in search of food, we decided on this massively popular sushi place near my place. The wait was 30 minutes, so we ran out to get a drink at another bar. We then returned to the restaurant for dinner. We got a nice table, tucked away in the corner with only a few other tables nearby. Once we ordered, this hilarious conversation commenced. We talked about work, but not boring operational things. These were stories about funny things that happened to him, to me – his boss egged him on to act like a fratboy and it caused someone to file a frivolous lawsuit, I’m a witness in a sexual harassment lawsuit.
CL#4NJ: All of a sudden I just realized that everyone is listening to us.
Velvet: That’s because we’re both laughing our asses off, and very loudly.
CL#4NJ (raising his voice): I’m not loud!!!
Velvet: HA! But if they are listening to us, why isn’t anyone else laughing? These stories are gold!
CL#4NJ: I don’t care if any of them are laughing. You are, and that’s all that matters.
Even though everyone was potentially listening to us, it didn’t matter. It seemed like we were the only people in there.
At some point during this conversation, I found the courage to ask what had been bothering me all week. We were talking about how our weeks were and I said, without thinking at all about it, “Were you busy? Was that why you were slow in answering emails?” He said, “Well, two things. One, yes I was busy, two I didn’t realize I was slow in answering emails.”
Ok, so I have two things here. He doesn’t return phone calls and he doesn’t always answer emails – for the reason seeming to be that he doesn’t call back when he doesn’t think there’s anything to say. I don’t know. So he’s bad at communication. Okay.
Before we left I dared him to flick the light switch behind where he was sitting. He did it, and the lights for the restaurant went off. I’m still laughing. All right, you could say I took advantage – I knew from stories he told that he could easily be egged on to do this. I’m ruthless and conniving when it comes to my own entertainment.
After dinner we went outside into the wind, dodged a witch on a bicycle, and walked back toward my place. But then we popped into another bar for another drink. We sat at one table at the edge of the restaurant. There was an empty table next to us, so he said, “You can sit over here with me if you want.” I squeezed into the booth next to him. Then some people came in and said to the table next to us, “You didn’t save our seats!” Then all of them looked at us. CL#4NewJersey said, “Ok, we’ll slide down, but just so you know, I won’t be able to properly grope her now.” They fired back with, “You can still grope her, no problem.”
Anyway, we literally sat there with our hands all over each other, finished our drinks, then left. We went back to my place, and after about 5 minutes of talking about watching TV, we started messing around. I decided it was best to keep him overnight, you know, for observation. We are still holding back somewhat, on all the good stuff. But other than that, it was an awesome night. I don’t like to touch or be touched when I’m sleeping. I’m no cuddler. But I like it with him. It’s nice to wake up in the middle of the night and feel that he’s holding my hand.
This morning when we woke up, he was rubbing Thora’s head because she crawled up and put it on his leg. The dogs and I walked him to his car. All of this is good so far, right? If we could stop right here, everything would be wonderful. But, no. We have strange goodbye #2. He said he had a good time and all that, but then he said, “If you want to get sushi again, let me know.” Huh?
Barbara already gave me some advice, which I love. She slapped me around mom-style. Well, not my mom’s style. My mom would spout out an unfounded insult about him, based on lies, to mask her disappointment that he’s not Greek. Barbara said: “Don’t start doubting a relationship that is still alive and seemingly well.”
Rhinestone Cowgirl said…
Okay, it sounds like he’s a bit socially awkward as well when it comes to setting up another date.
You know my take on this. 😉
But it sounds like a FUCKING AWESOME date otherwise, so savor it!
1/15/2006 02:05:53 PM
Sounds like an awesome date.
Dude sounds a little weird to me.
Two great dates and he leaves you hanging like that?
I’m thinking that he may be holding back much more than you are. The qestion dear Velvet is why?
Hopefully it’s something stupid and easily fixed. You’re friend is right, why doom a relationship before it’s had a chance to doom itself?
Just step back and enjoy.
1/15/2006 02:24:31 PM
Maybe it’s just his humor, being a little wry like that at the end. Either way, listen to Barbara.
1/15/2006 06:16:59 PM
Barbara’s one smart cookie.
1/15/2006 06:47:35 PM
Not as complicated as we want to think.
This sounds delicious. Bet you’re still having flashbacks. I love flashbacks.
1/15/2006 07:21:17 PM
hmmmm… well, what a nice night. time will tell velvet but I hope he turns out to be a really good guy. everyone is different and i would just think positively. once you know him better, you should be able to share with him what You need to feel comfortable. He may think he is making you feel good and coming across as cool, you know?
1/15/2006 09:41:56 PM
Girls, girls — Made my day! Can I just adopt you all? (My own children would NEVER believe someone is actually listening to me on DATING!)
1/16/2006 08:46:34 AM
Reya Mellicker said…
Barbara is right. You still know so little about this guy, but he sounds great, and you’re definitely having much more fun with him than you were with strange men sending you pics of themselves without shirts and then insulting you! Right?
There’s something wrong with everyone. This sounds so very romantic. Yum!!
1/16/2006 09:43:25 AM
It baffles me how bad some people (guys especially) can be so bad at communication. At least it was clarified he didn’t realize his emailing habits sucked:)
1/16/2006 09:52:15 AM
This still sounds pretty darn good. I echo the concensus that his awkwardness may just be part of his poor-communication. He says all the right things on the date, so maybe he just doesn’t know how to end an evening (or a morning!) without sounding weird or awkward. Keep having fun with him and see how it goes…. I love that he’s good with the dogs. Swoon!
1/16/2006 09:56:47 AM
Sub Girl said…
hmm at this point i wouldn’t worry about it too much–it sounds like it was a really awesome date.
1/16/2006 12:55:38 PM
A Unique Alias said…
Sometimes it’s easier for a guy to say “if you want to get sushi again, let me know” than worry about accidentally saying “thanks for the fuck!”
1/16/2006 04:18:02 PM
Hmmm… I think I need to meet this guy. You sound like you’re liking him WAY too much. I’m all jealous and shit 🙁
Err… I mean, he sounds great! Good luck!
1/16/2006 08:04:44 PM
And I love this VH song too. *swoon* again.
1/16/2006 11:07:04 PM
He sounds like fun, in and out of bed, but I’m trusting your instincts that keep asking, “Huh?”
1/17/2006 02:49:12 AM
glad you’ve found someone you want to stick around. you deserve it! let’s hope he starts communicating better soon tho!
1/17/2006 11:05:45 AM
I’ve got to say, the doggy-interaction is pretty darn adorable. That would melt me absolutely.
Maybe he’s just weird with exit lines because he’s quirky.
Please keep us posted. There are a lot of crossed fingers you on this one. Makes it hard to type, but you’re worth it.
1/17/2006 11:29:40 AM
I laughed and laughed at his exit line because that is totally something I would say after a great night! The more I like somebody the harder it is to wear my heart on my sleeve…
Sounds like a fabulous date – I love that you laughed so hard everyone was looking at you! What’s their problem? Jealous!
1/17/2006 12:54:25 PM
Hmm. The date sounds great. But I don’t buy the “bad at communication” excuse. When a guy is into you he will call, write, and immediately plan another date. There isn’t any guesswork involved. If he is playing it “cool”… you have to ask yourself if you want that. It is not condusive to having a relationship. But it could be a fabulous fling.
1/17/2006 01:13:54 PM
I’m in agreement with anonymous..
1/17/2006 03:17:46 PM