It’s back. My “I don’t give a shit” attitude is back. I don’t know who invited it, but here it is.
I was in Michigan last weekend visiting the cutest baby in the world. Prior to jetting off for the airport, I answered that email from CL#4NewJersey. Last. Thursday. And. I. Haven’t. Heard. Back. I don’t even care anymore. The thought of him doesn’t make my heart pitter patter anymore. I know, I know, we all had hope. I sure did. What can I do?
I posted another ad on Craigslist yesterday afternoon and collected a few dozen replies. But I’m not in the mood to write anything witty or be charming.
It is a little sad to have this thing with CL#4NewJersey die out like this, after three intense and wonderful dates, but, my sister-in-law asked me an important question when I was in Michigan: “How did his last relationship end?” I dropped my jaw and said, “He told me they just drifted apart.” So, there it is.
My sister-in-law’s sister (my inspiration for getting a motorcycle) suggested I contact him again. I can’t. I cannot possibly force myself to call or write again. I cannot text under the pretense that “perhaps he didn’t get my last email.” I have to be aggressive in so many other areas of my life, that it drains me. Dating and relationships is the one place I can’t be aggressive. First, it violates my principle that if a man likes you, he will make the effort. And second, it’s just not my style. I want to be chased. I want to be pursued. I want to feel the rush of someone blowing off everything else in their life for me.
So, I guess I’ll take a little break from dating, then jump back in – probably by Monday I’ll be better.