Ugh. I am feeling not myself today. Actually, I haven’t been myself in almost a week. Last week I promised myself and you all that I would be raring to go on Monday, and Monday is here. Sigh, I’m oh so not in the mood to rejoin the regularly scheduled programming.
I had to decompress and try to figure out the source of my hellaciously bad mood. And here it comes: The list.
- I have gained weight. Damn. I hate this. It makes me miserable enough to not leave the house. So, I’m back to eating right and have to drop my extra fluff. Don’t blame it on the holidays because I didn’t go home and didn’t do any extraneous eating. Blame it on me eating out every damn day.
- Where in the hell did CL#4NewJersey go? Where? What the hell is wrong with him? I’m so angry about this flaky disappearance that I feel like emailing him and saying, “Damn, I didn’t know you were dead. I hope I didn’t miss the funeral.” I’ve collected some varying opinions on doing this, but, it led me to having this other train of thought. Exiting list mode now.
Am I just too passive in relationships? I know of a handful of women who literally hold the reins in their relationships. I don’t want to be this woman, but I think that so many men have proven themselves to be wishy washy, that women have learned to take the lead on relationship items. It’s not my style to call CL#4NewJersey and hound him because I’m of the “He’s Just That Not Into Me” school. But would another woman allow this to go on? Would another woman allow him to flake out like this without an appropriate excuse?
Some could argue that it was only three dates and that I have no right to contact him, fishing to find out what went wrong. But, it was three intense dates. While there was no sex, I detailed the conversation and things that happened on said dates. The man acted like he was into more with me than just someone to hang out with. Non-stop laughing people. Non-stop laughing. I’m not even sure what contacting him will yield. Even if he said, “Let’s go out tonight,” right now I feel like all these games and the lack of contact has made me lose interest – interest in him, but I haven’t lost interest in finding out what his deal is.
Damn am I in a bad mood.