Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Oprah Can Kiss My Ass

People Please. I am sick to death of hearing these ridiculous complaints about James Frey and his “A Million Little Pieces” book.

  1. Who cares if he embellished facts and changed details? The message is still the same: Your life will be a pile of shit if you sink into becoming an alcoholic and drug addict like he describes.
  2. The book wasn’t that good anyway. The first 200 pages were of him vomiting everywhere. Please. I could shit a better story than that. In fact, I have.
  3. Stop letting Oprah do all your thinking for you. Don’t let her tell you what books to read. Don’t let her tell you who to worship. Don’t let her tell you who you used to worship and now must despise.
  4. If you’re still pissed that he lied, consider something. Drug Addicts and Alcoholics haven’t been given any awards for their integrity and honesty. What the hell did you expect?
  5. If you couldn’t tell by reading the book that he was making some of the shit up, then I have a bridge to sell you. Who the hell has a dual root canal, cavity filled, two crowns, a broken nose smashed back into place and 40 stitches in their face within 48 hours and without the aid of painkillers?

Huh. I feel like I just channeled AUA for a minute. Ok. That is all.


  1. A Unique Alias

    One of the ways Oprah retains and entertains her audience is by appealing to people’s sympathy and pity. In this instance, she stirred up a few million dollars worth of sympathy and pity for a con man.

    And I find it endlessly amusing 😀

  2. El Guapo in DC

    While I was reading this, my arms lifted and my hands started to sway back and forth. A-Fucking-men hermana.

    Personally, I didn’t mind the book. It needed more Latinos, but still a good book.

    Mucho Amor,

    El Guapo

  3. Pele

    I used to come home from working with seriously disabled adolescents and find my roommate watching Oprah. Half the time she was telling sob stories and asking “you” what you had done to make the world a better place.

    My thought was always, “Fuck you. I just avoided getting whacked in the head by a 200 pound kid with autism. Then I watched a kid throw up on her lunch tray. Go sell your pity-party somewhere else. Maybe you could buy me a drink while you’re at it.”

    I don’t particularly care for the Oprah….

  4. I-66

    really? a bridge? how much?

  5. Johnny

    Can we get back to the real story.

    Like can I date your cousin.

    When she gets back from Brazil.


  6. Sandra Dee

    THANK YOU! I am SO glad someone finally agrees with me on this!

  7. NotCarrie

    Amen! It’s soooo annoying!

  8. trueborn

    She’s had her own cult for years. Just checkout Saturday Night Live’s treatment of her. Thank you for saying something all the same.

  9. thehobophilosopher

    Yes, but … Oprah who?
    I wish “Queen for a Day” would come back. I haven’t been watching a lot of TV lately.
    Who the heck is James Frey? He has a drinking problem? – is he a friend of Jack London? Was that the guy who starred in “the Man with the Golden Arm”? Oh well …

  10. Tnuc

    ‘Who the hell has a dual root canal, cavity filled, two crowns, a broken nose smashed back into place and 40 stitches in their face within 48 hours and without the aid of painkillers?’
    and morning sickness to boot?

    Angelina Jolie ?

  11. Barbara

    I’ve only read 75 pages of this book. And, yes, I agree there is obvious exaggeration! This doesn’t exactly make me want to finish the book. But then it’s the February book for our couples book club, so I suppose I’d better read it.

  12. Velvet

    AUA – often if you watch Oprah, she finds a way to say “that’s great, now, back to talking about me me me.” I can’t watch that woman, and I don’t know why everyone is so hypnotized by her.

    El Guapo – Glad I could entertain you!

    Pele – Maybe she’ll buy you a car.

    I66 – I’ll take the proceeds from your modeling days in exchange for my bridge.

    Johnny – it was my “sister-in-law” and it actually wasn’t “my” anything. I even made the fake girl up.

    Sandra Dee, NotCarrie – yup. Agreed.

    Trueborn – I love when they have the audience screaming and one lady’s head pops off…I think Amy Poehler does that one.

    Hobo – uhhhh…ok.

    Tnuc – nah! Not Angie. She just plays tough on TV.

    Barbara – in some respects it’s a quick read, and in others it drags on. I think you should read it. The point really is that drugs and alcohol in excess are evil. I’ve done both, but can’t imagine being addicted to either. If James Frey wasn’t that extreme, I’m sure someone somewhere is in that bad of shape. The message is still the same. It’s irrelevant to me if it happened like that or not.

    In fact, frankly, I’m glad some of the extreme stuff isn’t true. I wouldn’t want any human being to go through that.

    I was walking the dogs tonight and I thought: “What if someone asked me to write the Velvet memoir? What would it look like?” The odds are that I would embellish some of these dating stories, because people would fall into a coma reading about it, and I would have to make up an ending, because there’s no great ending right now. Would it be bad that I embellish or change details? Probably not in the grand scheme of things.

    People entered rehab because of his book – because they believed it was true – because they were scared to get that far gone. Is that really so bad?

  13. Washington Cube

    I wonder if we could get El Guapo booked on Oprah to discuss Brazilian beauty products.

  14. I-66

    ‘Vet… my pops spent all the loot from the modeling/acting — else we’d sit at the bargaining table with something to talk about 😉

  15. Bilious Cunt

    Tnuc here. I created a new blog just for you revolted colony types.
    Dropped in a few of my older posts from my real blog.
    Go there and comment hate for me, please?
    You may have to look-up the UK idioms I use, sorry!

  16. playfulindc

    Oh, Velvet…this week of blogging makes me miss you so much it hurts in special places…

    Whose stories don’t change a little through the years? Mine have, that I know.

    Now, to plain ass lie is something very different. In the end, he would have made money on the book if he had been honest about the genre.

    For the literary ones: try Dave Eggers. He flat out tells ya when he’s lying, and it’s damn good readin’.

  17. Siryn

    All he did was reinforce the fact that drug addicts are typically liars.

    Oprah’s first instinct was correct – she initially thought that it didn’t really matter because the message was the same. Now she’s all indignant, and experts think it’s because she needs to protect her brand.

    Either way, you’re right. People need to think for themselves.

  18. Stef

    People of America:
    Step away from the Oprah. Do not look directly at the Oprah. Do not make eye contact with the Oprah.

    Seriously, I’ve never seen a full episode of Oprah in however many decades she’s been on. I can’t stand the vertically integrated commercial cult she’s leading.

    That being said, Kathy Griffin’s Barbra Streisand – Oprah Winfrey story is hilarious. “Did you know she painted my mic white?!?”

  19. Sharkbait

    heart and miss you! life has been shit lately and i just wanted to say heeeeey and that i lurrrrrrrrrrve you dahling!

  20. Rhinestone Cowgirl

    I gave “O” magazine the finger today in the airport.


  21. Laurie (aka buggy)

    I love Oprah and damnit I trust and judge her opinions.
    I’m not all outraged though about the book. I mean people lie about shit all the time. He shoulda just made it a fiction book though instead of non-fiction.

    I’m reading through the other comments and I think I am like the only Oprah supporter.

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