Last night the evening got away from me faster than Suri Cruise will run from her nutjob parents when she’s 18. I had initially decided I couldn’t make the Happy Hour in Adam’s Morgan. But, I ended up stopping by and saw the usual suspects. What I didn’t count on was that one of the four people sitting up at the bar would be a friend from the dog park. A friend whose dog, Lincoln, is Thora’s boyfriend. Yes, my dog has a boyfriend. Just be happy I’ve spared you the Sammy and Thora blog though.
Now, keep in mind…the bartender still works at Pharaoh’s.
My friend, who I won’t name until he says it’s okay or we come up with a fun alias for him, came over and sat down. I said, “You know, I have a funny story…” And he says, “Yeah, I already know. You and the bartender.”
How on earth does that little fucker beat me to it each and every time? Lord. Apparently the conversation went like this:
Bartender to my dog park friend: Hey, are you here for the blogger happy hour?
My friend: No, what?
Bartender: Yeah, these are bloggers. I used to date this one girl…
(Blah blah. I don’t know how the rest of this goes, but shortly thereafter, I walk in.)
Bartender: Her. There she is.
My friend, seeing that it’s me: HER?
Bartender: Yeah, I’m the Bartender.
So my friend relates this conversation to me and I just can’t stop laughing. First of all, NO ONE RECALLS MY BLOG from almost a year ago when this dating occurred. And second, I’ve heard that this same conversation happened between the Bartender and one PlayfulinDC last winter. Except that when she told it, she said that he asked her if she knew me, she said yes, and he said, as he grabbed his own shirt with both hands, up by each shoulder mind you, “Yeah? Well, I’M THE BARTENDER.” (It’s like the Wiz in New York. “I’m the Wiz…I’m the Wiz” – or maybe that’s from Seinfeld, yeah, the real commercial was “Nobody beats the Wiz.” Except that someone did because I think they are out of business.)
So. The Bartender finds it necessary to put his arms around my friend and say, “Yeah, we’re buds now.” Why are my worlds colliding? Is it possible I have made the entire circle through the D.C. social and dating scene and it’s time to move?
All of this is hilarious. What is even more hilarious is that someone is up to no good this morning. I’ve sat idly by watching as people search for some fucked up shit related to me, but this? I’m especially amused by “bar sex.” For the record, I don’t know what he told you my friend, or anyone else for that fact, but: WE DID NOT HAVE SEX IN PHARAOH’S!! WE JUST MADE OUT!
Maryland, Baltimore, United States, 0 returning visits
|20th July 2006||11:04:34 AM||velvetindupont.com/
|20th July 2006||11:06:03 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/?m=200511
|20th July 2006||11:06:41 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/index.php?s=bartender&submit=Search
|20th July 2006||11:07:08 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/index.php?s=the bartender&submit=Search
|20th July 2006||11:09:00 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/index.php?s=bar sex&submit=Search
|20th July 2006||11:09:50 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/?page_id=2
|20th July 2006||11:10:11 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/
Bar sex? Huh.
UPDATE ~ 15 minutes after posting. Um, do you people have lives? I use the word “bar” and “sex” in almost every post. This search ain’t gonna get you anywhere. Hellooooo Tacoma Washington though.
Washington, Tacoma, United States, 30 returning visits
|20th July 2006||11:52:11 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/
No referring link
|20th July 2006||11:57:18 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/?m=200511
|20th July 2006||11:57:56 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/?page_id=2
|20th July 2006||11:58:14 AM||www.velvetindupont.com/index.php?s=bar%20sex&submit=Search
|20th July 2006||12:03:30 PM||www.velvetindupont.com/
No referring link
|20th July 2006||12:14:24 PM||www.velvetindupont.com/
No referring link
Tacoma’s order of ops? Goes to blog. Takes five minutes to read post. Then, very interestingly, goes straight to November, 2005. Aah. You have a good memory my west coast friend. Scrolls to 2nd page of November, can’t find mention of Bartender. Goes to Search Box. Types in “Bar Sex.”
Update 2 ~
Add Ontario, Canada to the list of people searching “bar” and “sex.” People. all it’s going to return to you is basically EVERY SINGLE ENTRY I’VE WRITTEN!
Ontario, Toronto, Canada, 9 returning visits
|20th July 2006||12:27:45 PM||www.velvetindupont.com/
|20th July 2006||12:31:50 PM||www.velvetindupont.com/index.php?s=bar%20sex&submit=Search
Ok. I’m done calling all you people out. I shall sit back and watch though. Funny funny.