My alternate title was “Car 334, where ARE you?” Because Ponch’s answer could have been, “I’m parked in front of a fire hydrant, in a No Parking Zone, on my cell phone, chasing a Krispy Kreme truck.” Of course, that would only narrow it down to two thirds of the officers in my neighborhood.
I’m posting this picture in honor of tonight’s Dupont Circle Public Safety Meeting – you know, where the locals and the cops hash it out in the station house accomplishing next to nothing? Here we have the 3rd District’s finest in my neighborhood. What’s the 3rd district? Oh, you know. The one that they just want to pretend doesn’t exist, because its ridiculously high crime rate has tossed the stats off for the rest of the city. Such the crime solvers. I was supposed to have a date tonight, but he canceled. (Good.) Now I’m free! Dare I show up at this meeting? I’ll bring donuts. Original Glazed? Powdered Strawberry Filled? Glazed Lemon Filled? Apple Crunch? Hmm…ass kicking at my gym by hottie Mike who makes me drool, and not just from my mouth, or donuts and cops. It’s a tough choice. Truly.
But, that truck! I just can’t stop laughing. I love me right now. Hope no one kills me!
Yummy. Krispy Kremes are my favorite. I’m totally salivating.
Now. What were you saying about cops? 🙂
P.S. Which dude cancelled on ya?!
I betcha that Krispy Kreme driver parks wherever he wants when making deliveries… yet is never issued a ticket!
That’s too funny! Serendipity.
Mmmm… Krispy Kreme…
“Hmmass kicking at my gym by hottie Mike who makes me drool, and not just from my mouth”
we’re gonna need a spatula to get you off the rowing machine eh?
Haha. I love you too, right now! If someone were to kill you, I would have to track him or her down myself because life would just not be complete without you. Anyone else ready to join me in the Velvet Protective Service?
But the truck. This is it. Get yourself some Krispy Kreme merch. A cap or something. Get a suggestive (of donuts) vanity plate or a discreet logo decal for Speed Racer. You will get protection from the cops if they think you control the D’s. Or the O’s. Whatever.
A criminology major could write a disseration on the symbiotic relationship of the DC Cops and Krispy Kreme — ha! They sort of go together nicely, don’t you think? Wonder if #334 knows you got the evidence?
I think the relationship between doughnut shops and cops is like the relationship between african elephants and the flies that eat shit out of their asses.
Hey! Krispy Kreme is not even close to being shit!!
Awesome picture, Velvet. So friggin’ funny.
Donuts taste better on a nice big trouser snake!
Or so I’ve heard.
😛
Great shot…supposedly the cops read your site, i hope they enjoyed that one! krispy kreme is definitely worthy of the meeting tonight – bring some hot glazed creamy ones – HA. i’ll drool on Mike for both of us and you go kick some cop *ss!
Velvet, photojournalist.
Lovin’ it.
This is hilarious. Although I do fear for your safety – you’re not making many friends among DC’s finest.
SD – I canceled on one of the internet guys and the Lunch dude canceled on me. I’m apathetic right now toward my dating scene. Just need some sleep.
Cosmic – I’ll bet you’re right.
Siryn – KK’s are yum. I’ll give them that much.
Chud – A spatula! HA! Too bad hottie Mike is hottie Gay.
Bill – Yeah, I need stock in Krispy Kreme and also in 7 11 since they seem to like their slurpees.
Barbara – I don’t think #334 knows anything except where his next meal is coming from.
Ninja – You’ve offended Siryn now. Take that back!
Dara – Thanks! Must carry camera everywhere, I’ve missed some funny shit.
Johnny – YOUR trouser snake maybe.
Esther – Yeah, I wonder WHO told them about my site, though that source claims they didn’t use my name. But still. Anyway, I can’t justify forfeiting what I know to be a very good workout to attend a meeting where nothing will be accomplished.
Playful – I’ll have my camera with me all the time now! This shit just writes itself!
Aziz – You know, it’s an interesting point you bring up. People can bash GW all they want and hide behind the “Freedom of Speech” line and nothing happens to them. Yet, speak out against the cops, when they are so blatantly wrong in so many instances, and that trip from “Freedom of Speech” to “Murder” seems to become blurred, doesn’t it? We fear for speaking out against a bunch of people paid to protect us who have proven inept time and time again, yet, no one fears bashing the President – a man with plenty of secret service / guards etc. What kind of place is this? I’m not defending GW, I just see there’s a huge disparity between our perceptions of what we can and cannot get away with.
No killing, it is an opportunity that had to be taken advantage of!
You deserve to be paid for that picture….
Velvet, did he turn on his lights and run the red light to catch up with the truck after you took the picture?
I’d love to be the KK driver. Crossed a red light? Parked in front of a fire hydrant? Almost ran over an old lady?
No problem – here’s a box of donuts officer. Thanks for coming.
By the way, Joe Lieberman has some time on his hands… maybe he can help you with the 3rd District bitchapalooza tonight?
Hey! Watch the Old Lady stuff!
Rumor has it that they got your blog from the papers you filed against the stalker. i don’t buy that considering they sent you packing downtown somewhere and couldn’t help you at the neighborhood level. hmmm a park infiltrator perhaps??
Go, Velvet! GO!!!!
Ah, Mike…how I miss him and the drool he produces. Maybe he’ll come get a smoothie from me after class! 🙂
Ha! Priceless.
I wish there were hot men, gay or not, at my gym. We must get all the rejects. No getting misty down there on L Street.
Old Lady – notice how I said “almost”. It doesn’t matter if you’re old or young, you shouldn’t have to worry about the bridge and tunnel folk running you over!
Velvet: When you move to Arizona, pick a small town. Run for mayor, and… presto! You get your own police force!
http://www.cops.usdoj.gov/mime/open.pdf?Item=1754
I told you I read the DOJ reports on a regular basis. Part of my job, in a way.
Showing up at the meeting is better than wising-off on an anonymous blog. 7pm at 1620 V Street NW. And, as I told you, none of the cops youll meet tonight would be caught dead eating a donut in uniform.
Aah. The neighborhood squawkbox delurks to provide time and place of said meeting. Why show up to something where only the good officers are in attendance? I mean, isn’t that what you’ve told me? And it’s no longer an anonymous blog because YOU went down to the station, showed them what I wrote and told them who I am. What a fucking joke.
Have you seen this, Mr. Halligan?
http://www.examiner.com/printa-218334~Despite_violence,_D.C._officers_remain_on_force.html
That’s too f’n funny! What a great picture.
Too funny!
The supervisor cops show – lieutenants and captains. Tonight we had the City Councilman who chairs the committee that oversees the police and fire. Better access to those affecting your safety could not be asked for – a round-table, every 3rd Tuesday Youd rather complain, though. Try to distinguish between trying to improve the police and making fun of them.
I have not mentioned this gossip rag to anyone who would mention it to the police; I showed them an anonymized paragraph from an email complaint you made. You know that. Facts are tiresome to you, though.
I’m too tired to read your link
I’m half tempted to make that my wallpaper. Like seriously, on the walls of my apartment.
Rob – I think you’re being a little hard on Velvet. People have been petitioning and meeting with officials for years about the cops in D.C. and it never helps. In some ways, the city is worse than it has been in a decade. Maybe you should try to distinguish between trying to improve the police and letting off steam through humor to keep a person from purchasing an armory.
Rob – The neighborhood squawkbox speaks again. Funny that you can come on here and voice your ridiculous opinion, yet, you see me in the neighborhood, know who I am and refuse to introduce yourself. A bit of a pussy action, don’t you think? Since you’re too lazy to read the link I’ll dumb it down for you. Dozens of cops who have brutally abused citizens, where the citizens have been awarded MILLIONS OF TAXPAYER DOLLARS, those cops continue to keep their jobs on the force. Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? Not only do my tax dollars have to pay their salaries but they have to bail them out when they beat the shit out of someone and then continue to pay their salary when they aren’t terminated? It is not your job to convince me that we have an effective police force when I have had about a dozen incidents in the last 12 months that prove otherwise. And I hate to inform you that it’s not a gossip rag if everything I post is TRUE.
NR – You are trying to reason with a man who began his email exchanges with me by flirting, then became curious who I was and called around to figure out if he knew me, identified me and won’t introduce himself. Then he became irritated that I wouldn’t sign his petition to keep a children’s home out of our neighborhood because one of the kids mugged someone. I just can’t make a blanket statement that a children’s home shouldn’t be in Dupont Circle. Sure, I want to be safe, but, where are we supposed to send these kids? Southeast? So Mr. Halligan got irritated, and decided that I needed to do a cop ride along. And he called one of my friends to convince her to convince me to do this. Busybody. Why is he so interested in me doing a ride along? I already know where the 7-11 is. Shit, I saw a cop SLEEPING IN HER CAR on Saturday night. I’m not riding along with them.
This stuff really does write itself…
At least if you did do a ride along you might make them move their asses because of your presence…or you could take a nap, too. They both sound pretty good to me.
You know what would be really great? A bottled aerosol spray that smells like warm Krispy Kreme donuts. That way if you’re ever in danger you could spray in in the air and have a dozen cops in under a minute! I’m gonna be a babajillionaire!
I was once a witness to a crime and was taken to the station (in a squad car) to ID the bad guys.
On the way home, the officer offered to pick me up one night and take me on a ride-along, and I accepted. But his intentions were soon made clear, when he followed my acceptance with, “Or, I could just stop by with some body oil, a bottle of tequila, and a heat lamp.”
This has nothing to do with your story, but the ride-along made me think of it. Thanks for indulging me!
I’m disenchanted with DC today. Maybe i’ll go down to Krispy Kreme and stuff my face…i hear it will do wonders for my lack of caring.
You’re like dealing with Stephen Colbert – a caricature. Get a breathylizer kill switch attachment on your anonymous “send button”. None of that stuff you spewed about me, children’s homes, or any petition is true. I’m done.
If anyone wants to work on improving the cops, you can get on my squawk-box email list: DELETED
Stop hawking your agenda on my website. I know you’re delighted to reach about 1000 new readers, but find yourself another place for it. Your email has been stripped. And what’s not true? Did you forget our conversations occured on email, as did your statement that people who “mess with the cops end up dead.”
I don’t like bullies, and I don’t tolerate them on my blog or in my life.
Dude, stop mixing your metaphors.
And YOU HAVE THE WORST SIMILES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. STOP COMPARING. NO wonder you don’t think anyone understands you.
Velvet is like…the Brenda Starr of D.C. Bloggers. Our girl reporter in action.
Hello Rob H. I don’t think Velvet is making fun of the cops. Oh it may look that way alright but go back to the beginning of her thread on this subject.
You may not like the criticism that some bloggers share about the DC PD but I’ve read enough of it on other blogs over the past year to say that the problem we’re facing is the PD isn’t reading the blogs.
But since we’re going down memory lane here, on the blog you once had you shared a letter you received about the police: http://dcgovcustomerservice.blogspot.com/2005/08/i-just-dont-how-many-times-i-can-say.html
So instead a badgering someone about attending a dog and pony show of a meeting, why don’t you restart your blog, share more of the letters and insights you get as an ANC Commissioner. Take a leadership role as a public official.
I’ll put you in the live feed so everybody can read it.
cheers
kob
die
Haha I see a movie of the week being based on you in the near future Velvet.
Let her make fun of the cops. F anybody who tells Velvet how to run her blog one way or the other. Period. The end.
Now V, let’s get with the bloggy-blog. It’s been a few days now. 😉
That photo should be hanging in a gallery somewhere.
Hahaha–That KK donut truck may as well be a man w/a flute, dressed in green with about 47 million rats following him: Look kids–it’s the Police Piper of DC-dom…
What really amazes me in the photo is how clean the street and sidewalk are….unusual……