Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

One Crazy Saga

I need your advice kids.

Let’s say the following situation happened, um, hypothetically speaking of course.

You meet a guy and you start dating. Somewhere early in the dating, it comes out that he had dated a woman who reads your blog, daily. That woman has commented some fairly innocuous comments before, nothing special. Then she sends you an email stating that the guy you are dating is a great guy, she is going to stop commenting, and she won’t tell him anything you write about. Sounds good, right?

Then, let’s say that this woman changed her blog name and blog address. And when you and the guy started having some issues that you were trying to work out, she began commenting again as the new identity, but with no link to her new blog. The comments continued one after the next, each one nastier than the one before it, to the point where other readers commented on it and you also responded back. She threatened (through your boyfriend) to reveal where you work and all the information she knows about you. She was finally deleted and blocked. But, she says, “I’m in IT, so I can get around that.” So she’s reading anyway, through a proxy or what have you. You have no idea why it is so important for her to read your blog, but, if she’s going to go to all that trouble, then whatever.

So you’re writing your blog away, then she starts noting who comments on your blog, and begins to seek them out. Your poor unsuspecting commenters, one after the next, contact you saying, “Hey, I got this comment on my blog from this girl who hates you,” or “I got an email from this girl,” and the end is always the same. The girl finds a way to say to the commenter, “I know you are friends with {writer of blog / girlfriend of guy…}”

Would you find this odd? I mean, if the woman has something to say to you, why wouldn’t she just contact you? Why would she go to each of your friends, one after the next, emailing them, trying to chat them up, inviting them to be IM buddies? What would you think, and what would you do, if anything?


  1. Law-Rah

    #1 – take this post down because she will read it and chuckle thinking “haha, I am getting to her”

    #2 – sit back and relish in the fact that you are happy with the guy and she cannot take that away from you (unless you let her)

    #3 – buy a gun


  2. Velvet

    It’s funny you would mention that my dear friend. I looked into buying a gun this morning, D.C. law notwithstanding.

    Anyway, she’s not getting to me. I think it’s hilarious. Watching the unraveling is very entertaining. Especially for someone who wishes me so much ill will for no reason at all. Let’s look at the facts. I did nothing to her. NOTHING.

  3. KassyK

    I would buy a gun. Seriously. She sounds like a looney tune.

  4. circumlocutor

    In response to La-Rah, I don’t think you need to take this post down… her behavior is cowardly, and people like her usually don’t have the guts to stand up for themselves after they’ve been called out on their behavior. But you should consider making this post the last acknowledgement of her existence. It’s quite possible she has an attraction to you and has no other way to reconcile her emotional needs than through psychosis. Stay away from her, send the pet rabbit to stay at grandma’s and train the dogs to attack any woman who gets within two feet of you.

    A gun? Don’t waste your time. This demented soul anonymously emails people she’s never met — she’ll never be able to work up the nerve to confront you in person. And, besides, as a I noted before… you’ve got the dogs.

    But what about the guy who you both dated? It seems she wants to get his attention as well. Tell him to call off the wackadoo. It’s his problem you inherited, and he needs to take some ownership of it.

  5. La Whisky

    Methinks that chick needs some anti-psychotic medication and a good analyst. I think you’ve handled the situation rather gently, and hopefully she will see how unhealthy her behavior is and stop.

    [To the Bunny Boiler in Training: Seriously, honey, better living through chemistry. Trust me on this.]

  6. MappyB

    Why are people such drama whores that they have nothing better to do than sit around and be nasty to other people, and waste their energy writing comments to you and to your other comment leavers?

    That’s so ridiculous. Wait. Is she 18? That could be it, because most grown adult women know how to behave themselves and handle things in a classy way.

    Blog comment wars are for losers.

  7. jordanbaker

    There’s something about this sort of venue that seems to bring out the absolute best and the absolute worst in people.

    While it sounds like this chick would’ve been crazy regardless, it’s kind of alarming that she’s got such an easy outlet for the crazy now.

    Anyway. Are your dogs big enough that teaching them a “sic” command would be effective?

  8. subgirl

    this girl needs to get a life!

  9. KM

    Offer her a guest post, Velvet. You know you want to.

  10. Tacoma!

    The girl needs to chill, send her some weed.
    Must be stressful putting so much energy tward somebody else’s love life. With her extra time she could catch up on Veronica Mars, or learn a foreign language.
    Maybe you could send her a bag of candy, but it could also contain anti psychotics mixed in. Tis the season.

  11. homeimprovementninja

    Holy Crap! I think KM had the bestest idea ever. We should have some groundrules and maybe a she said/she said type thing with Velvet’s version on one column and Other girl on the other right next to it. Let’s get a neutral referee and we’ll pick about 10 incidents from the infamous soap opera and we’ll list the incidents next to it and each person will give their version of it. Then…we’ll have the readers vote on who’s in the right and the loser has to make amends by selling her favorite 5 porn titles on eBay and donating the proceeds to charity. Or they can just donate the porn directly to charity. I’m sure the Red Cross wouldn’t turn down some porn. Those people are perverts.

  12. jordanbaker

    I should clarify that by “venue” I meant the internets generally, not your site in particular. My word choice skillz aren’t at their most precise this morning.

    (And I still think that if you’ve got anything larger than a pug, it’s worth teaching them a “sic” command and training them to hate her scent).

  13. Velvet

    Ninja – I’d sell my porn off for charity, but last time I checked, most of my collection was in your possession, Ninja.

    KM – You can see what ranting she is capable of authoring. Just check the archives. Here. I’ll provide a link:

    Of course I deleted her most vicious of comments and replaced it with one of my own right back at her. I don’t attack without provocation, that’s for sure. And since she wants to continue the insanity, I shall respond in kind.

    Circ & La Whisky – of special delight is the irony in your mentioning this person as a “bunny boiler.” Because someone just shot me her match profile, and the title is something about how she doesn’t boil bunnies. Irony. I love it.

    JB – I think I could train Thora to attack, she’s got some pit bull in her, but the other dog, Sammy is a lazy, treat-seeking attention whore.

  14. jkc

    girl just needs to get laid. of course she thinks it’s more complex than that, but it just ain’t.

  15. homeimprovementninja

    HAHAHA!!! Actually, before I stopped blogging I was gonna write a nice post about you where I called you The Porn Fairy. When you offerred KassyK some porn and offerred me some too, I got to thinking that you’re like the Tooth Fairy, except that you leave people porn…which is like much better than cash.

  16. Old Lady

    Tell her to e-mail me when she graduates, I can’t takk to minors.

  17. Scarlet

    Who are these people with enough time to seek out people they don’t know to harass? I barely have enough time to keep up with the people I do know. Someone needs a hobby.

  18. rachelle

    Good god, when is this bitch gonna turn 12 and stop the juvenile antics?!?

    I guess I’d just sit back and laugh at her shenanigans… she’s only making herself look stupid. But it’s probably smart to keep a watchful eye out for her… timid IT geek or not, she’s clearly got a screw loose.

  19. Lady Tiara

    this is just pathetic. emailing your commenters is really beyond the pale. perhaps if she applied this energy to her own life, she would have a life and wouldn’t feel the need to obsess over yours.

  20. Wicked H

    Psychos R Us, now serving # 412

    Build up your arsenal and use it if necessary. In the meantime, live your life kiddo.

  21. Nikki

    Too bad she has nothing to do but attack others. Maybe she will catch the hint with all these comments….tho I highly doubt it! Move past it Velvet, leave her in your dust 😉

    Ninja — Love it, The Porn Fairy, lmao here at my desk!!

  22. Siryn

    Since I know you’re reading, please stop this behavior. Good God, let it go. It won’t hurt. Really. I can understand being a fan of someone’s writing, but then why bring up Velvet? Give it a rest.

  23. upstairs neighbor

    um, did someone say bunny boiler…gulp.

  24. Laura

    I think it’s sad and pathetic. But it does have that boiling bunny vibe to it. Uh, blog-stalker-girl, Glenn Close called and she wants her part back.

  25. bejeweled

    Sounds like the girl needs a life. And she’s also jealous since she says she dated the guy. I’d keep that mace close by… girl’s got some issues.

  26. ashburnite

    somehow hearing about her makes me think “it puts the lotion on it’s skin.” seriously, bitch needs help.

  27. Dara

    Just when I think people can’t get any more lame, they prove me wrong.

    I don’t think you should take the post down. Sometimes people don’t realize that they’re dumb until you call them out on their assinine behavior in a public forum.

  28. Shannon

    I would think the girl is crazy and that she needs to get out of the house.

    If I were her and I was reading this post, I’d be extremely embarassed and would go into hiding. So don’t take this post down.

    But she may not have any shame and might continue her behavior.

    On the bright side of that, she could be fodder for entertainment in future posts!

  29. Melissa

    She sounds like a catch.

    If anything happens…it was self defense.

  30. disasterpiece

    I’m going to miss your blog =( And I just started reading. It’s a shame women have to be like they are sometimes.

    If I were you, though, I would probably file a restraining order.

  31. Marci

    Password protected? Oh geez, what did I miss while I was overseas?

  32. cuff

    I only read this blog every now and then, and I think the personal nature of your posts and the sexual content probably attract a lot of nutcases in addition to some great people. Password protecting is an extreme step, but if I had a cyberstalker like this loser, I’d lock my site down, too.

    Stay strong.

  33. Sex & Moxie

    You know, this sort of stuff irritates me to no end. I had the EXACT same thing happen to me by another blogger who is also, as Kassy said, a “looney tune.” She googfles me, check smy traffic, used to write me all sorts of crazy e-mails, found my Friendster profile and sent it to her friends. I seriously do not understand how or why some people are so detached from reality. What the fuck is wrong with some people?

  34. Sex & Moxie

    One last comment, promise…

    I just got an e-mail from someone who shared something interesting. If anyone here has comments software that tracks IP’s, before you ban an obnoxious commenter make sure you check to see if the IP is coming from a proxy server. I just realized that two people who were writing obnoxious shit on my blog were doing it in hopes of getting banned. If I banned them, then I’d end up banning hundreds of other people and I wouldn’t get as many comments.

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