Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

You Know I Never, I Never Seen You Look So Good

I drank again last night. Sixes and Sevens is a bad influence. My night started off relatively healthy. I went to the gym, ran 3.4 miles on a 3% incline, came home and hopped in the shower. Then I got a text that said, “Wine? Champagne?” Damn you evil temptress. I was doing so well!

I grabbed my booze and my dogs, and went over to her place, stopping to bang on the King of the Dog Park’s window on the way. He opened it up and said he would meet me at Sixes and Seven’s house shortly. All of this drinking ensured that I would get home late, drunk, and be late for work today. But, it was a good thing. Driving to work an hour later than my usual time, I stopped at a red light downtown. I looked to my right and saw two men of the blue collar variety standing on the sidewalk talking to another guy whose face I couldn’t see.

These two guys were the hottest specimen I’ve seen in this city since I moved here. I wish I had my camera because I would have most definitely taken a picture. I seriously could not stop looking. Of course, it got the little squirrel in my brain thinking about something.

Growing up in Connecticut, and hanging out in the bars and clubs in New York City and Long Island, good looking men outnumbered the rodents in the city. Every night out yielded a handful of phone numbers from men who I would juggle for months to come. I then moved to Atlanta, and while the general look of Atlantans was different, there were still many hot men to feast the eyes on.

Then I moved here. Hollywood for the ugly. Why are we all so unattractive? I just don’t get it. Am I hanging out in the wrong places? Is it the whole city or just pockets? And good lord, am I becoming ugly by osmosis? I’m really at a loss. By New York City standards, the guys this morning would have blended in. Both about 6 feet tall, light to medium brown hair, one with some unshaven scruff, rough in a take-me-tame-me way, and not manorexic. They spend time at the gym without getting bulky and steroided up. They have the look that they actually play sports instead of watching them on t.v. They stand out in a city washed with “sameness” enough for me to slam on my brakes and stare without fear of getting caught.

When I moved here, my definition and standard of what was good looking changed without my knowledge or approval. The guys in D.C. fall into a few categories. Either he is the nerdy hipster with the trademark black frame glasses who looks like he hasn’t washed his clothes since “Like a Virgin” was number 1, or he’s the politico who spends too much time at the office going bald and not spending enough time exercising off his pot belly. If he doesn’t fall into one of the two above categories, then he has most likely become metrosexual. By process of elimination, I embraced the metrosexual look. I liked the guy who paid attention to what he looked like, bought the Seven jeans, and generally acted a bit gay when appropriate. But that hasn’t worked out so well for me. I just can’t emasculate the man I’m with. And the other types? Well, I’m just not the hipster kind of girl. And the politico? No thanks. I’ll choose celibacy.

But seeing this guy this morning just reminded me where I came from, what I grew up finding attractive and the kind of guy who I am most suited to be with. It’s more workman with toolbelt and less suits and briefcases. It’s more driving an F350 to work and less bike riding with the backpack in tow. It’s more Dane Cook, and less Buddy Holly, Carson Daly or Chris Robinson.

Aah, Dane Cook.



  1. Velvet

    Sure. I see where this is going. It’s not okay for me to discuss pooping yesterday but you kids can talk about farting. Uh huh. And blaming it on the dog? Sheesh. I didn’t know people still got away with that. You can’t blame that on a Yorkie! It was you! YOU! I know it!

  2. I-66

    There’s a difference between human poop and doggy farts! Don’t act like Sammy and Thora don’t gas it up.

  3. Velvet

    Yes. They do. Sammy has mastered the art of the guilty face too. It’s just so damn cute. Then he wags his tail which really spreads it around.

  4. Elizabeth

    Interesting though how the smallest dogs can really stink it up! yorkie fart equals 5 big dog farts IMHO.

  5. I-66

    A wise one, she is.

    Just throwing this out there… I may have Tuesday off now. I would kill for a 4-day weekend right now.

  6. Elizabeth

    I told V earlier my liver is gettin’ ready to reach right through my throat and call Betty Ford itself…

  7. carrie m

    v – what does this hot guy look like? i can be the stakeout in the burbs, and i’m also a maryland grad.

    i’ve grown up in and around this town, the hot boys are few and far between. which would explain my love of hairbands when i was 13. oh wait, i still love them…

  8. playfulinnc

    When did nerdy hot become passe?


    Would you investigate why women lose their hair after living in DC over 3 years? I think it’s the water.

  9. Patsy

    Um did someone say, like 45 posts ago, that they wanted to move to DC. I think that was sarcasm, yet the pills haven’t kicked in so I needed to check. Honey, please. Please.

  10. LPM

    Why would anyone want to move here? I remember, waaay back in high school, going to NYC for a Model United Nations conference.
    My thoughts:
    -Seeing two men squaring off on the sidewalk, about to fight over one person bumping the other: “Wow, they’re not shooting each other.”
    -Hearing the story of one of my classmates. He had gotten mugged trying to buy a fake id: “Wow, they didn’t kill him.”
    -In Times Square, seeing the cleaning crews blast the piss, puke and blood off of the sidewalks: “Wow, they have a sanitation crews that actually show up for work!”

    … and then I came home. To SE DC. Le sigh.

  11. freckledk

    Give me a Boston-boy anyday. The Yankee pronunciation of my name alone gets the nips to full attention.

    And I’m surprised I still HAVE a clit. As a matter of fact, I think I should go check to see if I still do. Carry on, Bloggers.

  12. Carrie

    i will second that, freckledk. boston guys are wicked hot.

    happy trails!

  13. Sharkbait

    MMM Love me some Dane Cook.

    Can’t say much for the hottness of DC men, because I am biased that D is the hottest.

    Miss your face!!

  14. homeimprovementninja

    “By process of elimination, I embraced the metrosexual look. I liked the guy who paid attention to what he looked like, bought the Seven jeans, and generally acted a bit gay when appropriate.”

    DAMMIT!!! I keep telling you that sweater is european! Not gay, european!!!

  15. LPM

    Who is Dane Cook?
    He looks like a less introspective version of Keanu Reeves.

  16. LPM

    He’s also crooked. Does he only have one shoe on or something?

    Oh crap. Is he “special”? I can’t tell if his belt buckle is a special olympics silver medal or not. If it is I take it all back. I don’t want to burn in Hell for making fun of a club-footed special olympics person.

  17. I-66

    Shhh… making fun of Dane Cook will only draw their ire.

  18. LMNt

    Wow… I seem to have missed quite a bit here.

    Anyway, hot girlfriends, Velvet??? Sounds like some introductions are in order. 😉

  19. KM

    Glad to see you have a thing for redheads, 6s&7s.

  20. LPM

    I knew I’d seen him somewhere before.
    Note: I’m just bored, I have no clue who this guy is. Someone said he’s a comedian?

  21. Luck O' the Irish

    Dane Cook = funny as hell! I remember seeing his act years ago…

    Happy New Year to you, Sammy and Thora!

  22. Leah

    I stumbled on your blog, didn’t know what it was. I am not a huge fan of blogs, but I think you have a phenomenal voice in writing.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2024 Velvet in Dupont

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑