January – The first victim of the year in dating was CL#5PornName. (Date #1.) We only went on one date, because I became enamoured with stupid CL#4NewJersey. That doofus. Sammy got a mysterious back problem that almost set me back $3000 for an MRI and such, but he magically recovered. I continue dating CL#4NewJersey (he’s in last year’s count so he doesn’t count for this year,) and El Guapo hits the scene and we team up for some good old Craigslist torture. You all loved it. Here are the links:
1) Choose your own adventure – explains the reason this guy is “chosen.”
2) With the Touch of a Velvet Glove, Abra Abra Cadabra – Enter El Guapo.
3) El Guapo Strikes Again – It just gets funnier.
4) El Guapo Fucks Up – But it is just so damn funny!
5) The Best of El Guapo Recap – Think of the Deli Meats!
February – Things continue on the CL#4NewJersey rollercoaster and then I have a date with CL#2BlueEyes (Date #2.) That doesn’t go anywhere though. CL#4NewJersey surprises me for a Valentine’s Day dinner and things seem to look up. But not for long. He disappears shortly after. It’s Just Lunch sends me out on my 10th date, Ray Romano, (Date #3) but that goes nowhere as well. CL#4NewJersey breaks up with me via email, solidifying his place as the supreme idiot of the dating world.
March – A generally non-descript month for me, though I did meet and start dating another wanker off Craigslist (Date #4.) He had a name consisting of something about a fruit (in general “fruit” is quite apropos though the specific choice of fruit in this case is not representative of his package,) and a place to take outside naps, but it’s all a hazy blur of a truly unremarkable person who told the same three stories over and over. Not so much a “catch” as something you’d like to throw back. Crazy friends included in that package as well.
April – My parents came to visit. That post is still one of my best hits on this blog. Guess you all can relate. Went to Arizona in the end of April and fell in love with the idea of moving out of D.C. It probably had something to do with an incredibly X-rated night with the cowboy. Not sure I can log this one as a “date.”
May – Not a lot of writing in May because one of my aforementioned dates went a little nuts and I just checked out of the scene for a while. It was a nice break.
June – On a major Dating Hiatus at this point. Went shopping at Victoria’s Secret and created the Hunting Guide to help gear myself back up for the game.
July – Went to Michigan to see friends get married and saw Cutest Baby in the World. Reconnected with It’s Just Lunch (who forgot about me) and went on a date with TheBoroughsBaby (Date #5) which had zero chemistry and had a date with SirTalksALot (Date #6) which also went a surprisingly nowhere.
August – Began a drama filled relationship with Sherlock (Date #7.) Found quickly that Sherlock comes complete with other girls he’s dated who are also bloggers who are also reading my blog. To say that this was a mess would be putting it lightly. I went out with OlderMan (Date #8) and he asked me out again but I wasn’t feeling that so much. Also went out with TheConsultant (Date #9.)
September – In my need to get the hell out of dodge, I head off to Atlanta. The rest of the month is pretty uneventful. Some on again / off again with Sherlock.
October – Mid October I finally had enough of the drama and went under password protection for a month. That was relieving, though hilarious to see “people” trying to crack the password as well as use the cache to get in and read. It proved to me that there really are a lot of crazies in this blog world. Things spun out of control and into directions I never expected. My panic attacks increased in frequency up from one or two a week to one or two a day.
November – Blog still under password. I learned a lot about myself by going back and reading these passworded posts. Sometimes you can get so caught up in the day to day that you miss the big picture entirely. It’s much more obvious to me at this point what was going on back then. I only wish I saw it more clearly. In my defense, work kept me very busy to notice the other stuff.
December – Posting is light again. I’m burned out on blogging this month. I’m doing more to take care of myself and trying to not be so deep and to not feel things so deeply. Letting it roll off becomes my new mantra.
When I went back and read some old posts to compile this recap, I realized how fun this blog used to be, how fun my life used to be, and how it seems to have become a big pile of shit and negativity. I’m not happy about it. Seeing it all in one place, I definitely can say that this year is not even close to what I wanted for myself. Last night I had a conversation with Sixes and Sevens and she said that dating is hard, and she prefers to coast superficially through relationships and not get entrenched emotionally because it is just too exhausting. I can totally relate. So, as I’ve said before, this isn’t exactly what I want for myself, but I don’t know what I do want. But, I’m going to keep looking. I think there is a better life out there. I just have to find it.
In any case, the score is as follows:
Potential Dating Pool: -9
I think in 2007 I’m going to consider getting back to writing about the original focus of Velvet in Dupont – Dating and Relationships.