Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

I Swear I’m Not Making This Up

I just about had all the tainted food cleared from my system when I received an email that made me throw up again.

If anyone recalls the hellacious 4 part series on “OldBuilder,” great. If not, I’ll just give you the very brief synopsis. Opie is a misogynistic, sexually harassing asshole whose hatred of me turned an entire company upside down.

Now, the email:

Just a quick note to say Happy New Year!

I hope 2007 brings you much fulfillment & success.

With Warmest Regards,


(301) 793-XXXX

Damn. Is he kidding? I have to go hurl now. I forwarded to my boss and said, “I should write back and say, ‘Look, we both know we hate each other. You can take me out of your address book now.'”

Happy New Year to you too Opie. Maybe this is the year you get and keep a job. In other “OldBuilder” news – the Weasel was fired from his next job as well. Awesome.

All together now, People ALWAYS get what they deserve.


  1. jordanbaker

    Opie totally wants you to hook him up with a new job. . .because y’all worked together so well the last time.

    (either that or he’s in some sort of program where he’s making ammends or something, in which case I shouldn’t make fun. Snicker.)

  2. Patsy

    I was just gonna say… sounds like someone is on step #8 to me.

  3. I-66

    New years resolution, perhaps. Make up for all the wrongs. Kinda like Jason Lee.

  4. E :)

    I reckon Jordan’s right. Slimy bugger.

  5. Melly Mel

    OMG!!!!!!!!!! This man has lost it. I agree with Jordan. You know the saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. He probably feels he should make things right with the woman who ruined him, so that she can repair is reputation.

  6. Elizabeth

    No disaster is greater than underestimating the enemy, even a retarded one…seriously tho’ what a ‘tard.

  7. LPM

    Everyone is the center of their own private universe.

    Has anyone here met one of their childhood bullies later in life?

    Were they contrite or did they want to talk about “the old days?”

    Hell, he probably thinks the people he shat upon deserved their treatment.

    I had to look up whether the ‘?’ went inside or outside of the quotation-marks. *le sigh* My book-learnin’ was güd once.

  8. LMNt

    Wow. Just… wow.

  9. KassyK

    Aw, its like when my old boss at my old job called me after I left and she was fired and wanted to get together for a drink. Like we were best friends.

    I left that job bc she made my life a living hell.


  10. I-66

    So with Opie and The Deluded One coming out of the woodwork, who’s next to complete the New Years Trifecta?

    Unless you count Deluded’s multiple personalities, in which case we’ve already gone past trifecta and have reached superfecta, at the very least.

  11. Chico's Bail Bonds

    Happy New Year, Velvet!

    It was delightful to get back from visiting the in-laws and catch up on the posts.

    Sorry you were so sick and I find the timing of the Opie cheesy e-mail after we all got the backstory hilarious.

  12. Velvet

    I 66 – For a second I was like “Wait, what deluded one?” Ohhhhhhh. Him…… Now there’s someone who should be in a 12 step program. Or a 48 step program. Remember when KassyK rousted him out of the woodwork again? That was hilarious!

  13. homeimprovementninja

    That’s par for the course. He thinks he can network with you (or sleep with you). He’s thinks you’ve forgotton (or didn’t know) what a tool he was to you. A lot of the stuff he did was behind your back. You found out about it, but maybe he doesn’t know you know.

  14. Elizabeth

    Ninja responded with what my first thought was..the TOOL is rustling the ol’network bag..he’s probably gotten to the very bottom of the crackerjack box.. A lot of times when we handle ourselves with grace instead of well deserved murderous outrage we can be seen as oblivious…my bets are w/Ninja…he might not know the depths of your enlightenment..if he does then he’s a playa trying to gage what’s up…he’s still a ‘tard.

  15. Velvet

    Eau eau! Sex with Opie just made me vomit again! Eau!

  16. Barbara

    Let’s face it, some people just never get it. Looks like Opie is one of them.

  17. *A*

    some people never think they are the cause of the problem….total denial (my old boss, much like Kassy’s had no idea that he was why I left old company)….sigh.

  18. KassyK

    O M G I forgot about him. AHAHA. I was so naive. SO naive.

  19. Elizabeth

    Sex with the Opster is indeed gross if not just downright nasty…I have to admit I didn’t see Ninjas “or sleep with you” in parenthesis..that just slid right past me….I’m off my game….now that I am laughing so hard at the thought of you n’ Opie, I’ll just wrap it up..Opie wants something from thoughts (A) some networking action, for real…he’s desperate..testing the waters (B) a gage via response or lack thereof on whether or not you know just how evil he is which in turn thru response or lack thereof either ensures all is good or lets him know real quick that yes you know he is a shithead, a real big shithead and that everthing he thinks of himself is true, and Velvet knows it (C) just an email received response insuring him that yes you at least read his email (D) maybe Ninja’s is just plain ol’ action.

    What did I ever do with my time before I started tapping your blog every free minute I have some days just so I can laugh my ass off..V you’ve got some witty assed people up in here.

  20. Old Lady

    Whoa! Speak of the Devil!

  21. I-66

    Word on the street is Opie’s started wearing a bunch of crushed Velvet to properly prepare himself for a Velvety encounter.

    I don’t know if it’s true. It’s just the word on the street.

  22. playfulinnc

    Some people are too lazy to check who “send all” goes to.

    Me thinks he paints with broad strokes.


  23. Scarlet

    I think we all just threw up a little.

  24. VJ

    Yah know, some days they don’t pay you nearly enough. Cheers & Glad to hear you’re feeling better V. I think you scared up several online nurses too! ‘VJ’

  25. bejeweled

    Glad you are feeling better! I had a great laugh that ‘Opie’ felt compelled to send you NYE wishes. I smell an alterior motive coming afloat! Peewwww, it stinks! Karma has a horrid bite, doesn’t it?

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