Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Please, Kill Me

Here’s what I did, in one sitting. It took 16 hours and I only had one taco and one red bull in the whole time time on the road.

There are two dogs who hate me right now, by the way.



  1. jordanbaker

    No, no, no. You don’t go through El Paso; you go through Flagstaff and the skinny top part of Texas. It’s shorter, and you don’t have to deal with so many. . .Texans.

  2. Velvet

    But, El Paso is where I got the taco! Taco Cabana, baby.

  3. Patsy

    The skinny top part = Amarillo. Which is basically an armpit. It’s just as bad, and probably worse, due to the amount of 2-lane roads.

  4. Hammer

    Nice bit of flyin’ there, cowgirl.

  5. b

    Good lord! You keep me on the back of a bike for that long, I’d hate you too 😉

    Remember to enjoy the ride….of life

  6. Drunken Chud

    wow, i was just thinking to myself: given a starting point of phoenix and an end point of dallas and a 16 hour time frame, i could fuck velvet halfway across texas. damn. so close.

  7. BBTY

    well there was no point dilly-dalling in NM or El Paso. Get somewhere where the getting is good and from the text messages at 2:47 AM…you could be sitting in jail right now for all I know.

  8. freckledk

    By the time you get the dogs home and in their beds, they will have forgotten all about it.

    Drive safely!

  9. Juju Bean

    Wow… Did you wear adult diapers like that crazy astronaut chick?

  10. homeimprovementninja

    Wow. You are “The Road Warrior” from now on.

  11. Velvet

    Patsy – the real armpit of this country is Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana. Ugh. Those states are wretchedly awful. Humid, swampy, all around gross.

    Hammer – Why thank you!

    B – I think the doggies have forgotten, thankfully.

    Chud – Uh, huh? Fuck? Texas? Do explain more of that scenario to me please!!!

    BBTY – No, we’re not in jail, though we should be. Patsy is guilt-tripping this a.m. and me? Well, I lack that emotion these days.

    FK – Half way there!

    Juju Bean – Shit! Now you tell me!!! What a great idea. Okay, next time…

    Ninja – I try. Can’t say I’ll be doing this again any time soon though.

  12. Drunken Chud

    well, let’s just say that it would involve lots of lube, probably some cardio training prior, several gallons of gatorade, maybe an ice pack or two, complete and total disregard for public safety, a couple bottles of booze, and plenty of neosporin for any battle wounds in the aftermath.

  13. MappyB

    I love a good road trip!!!

  14. Siryn

    make sure the terminus is in NYC. 🙂

  15. Barbara

    Glad you’re coming home. You might want to break the remaining trip into a couple of days of driving with SLEEP in between. Or knowing you, you might just buy a 6-pack of Red Bull and drive straight through.

  16. Johnny-D.C.

    So they finally drove you out of Phoenix for painting the town red?


  17. Not So Little Woman

    Yikes! I’m not even going to think of the whole trip. Just the El Paso-Dallas part scares me, I’ve driven through there. There’s nothing!!

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