Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Cold Beer, Hot Wings, Wranglers, Skoal Ring

A Photo Tour through the South.


Babe’s Chicken Dinner House, Garland, Texas. I got the catfish, and the sides were “all you can eat.” I’m not good on the all you can eat type of fare, since my stomach fills up after three kernels of corn, but I did good! So did Patsy and Patsy’s husband. I wore my eatin’ pants! While we waited for our third helping of creamed corn, the best green beans ever (they may have been cooked in soda syrup,) and mashed potatoes, these chicks did a little dance.

“And Ya Do the Hokey Pokey, and That’s What It’s All About!” The next day, I left Texas. My departure had nothing to do with Babe’s or the Hokey Pokey though.


There’s the Mississippi. This time, I was headed east though. Back when I was heading west, this blog was still dead. I think it came back to life in Dallas as a matter of fact…thanks Patsy!

No. Mississippi is definitely NOT like coming home. My home has yuppies and lots of straight blonde hair. And pearls. Don’t forget the pearls.

Again, why the false Advertising? Alabama is about as beautiful as herpes. The only saving grace for this picture are the bikers milling about.

There are still a few things in the south that you won’t see anywhere else. Take for instance, this 2 door pickup truck.


How many non-Greencard holding Mexican border jumpers can you fit in the backseat? Apparently, four.

Aah the south. Where you can get all the sweet tea you want and where NYJER seed is somehow written up by the store clerk as “NIGER” seed. Yes, I know the war isn’t over for you rebels, but do you have to wear your racism on your sleeve? It isn’t hard to see where they were going with this, even though they spelled THAT word wrong too. How apropos. They could argue that the seed comes from the country Niger, but it says plain as day: Packaged in the U.S.A. Yeppers.



  1. Drunken Chud

    yeeehaw! i got an armpit. and it smells better than all three of those states. plus i don’t have toothless neckbones hangin out in my armpits. oh the south. where the men are idiots and the women are just as inbred.

  2. Kelly Kyle

    When I die, St. Pete will welcome me to heaven in Wranglers with Wintergreen Skoal in the back pocket.

  3. Patsy

    I have confirmation that the salad dressing on the “salad” at Babe’s is made from: Vinegar, Salt, Pepper, olive oil, and 7-up. FLAT 7-up, specifically.

  4. barbara

    And you didn’t even get to my homeland in the panhandle of northern Florida. It is just a continuation of your 3 expendable states, with the exception of the beaches, which are unlike beaches anywhere else in the world.

  5. BBTY

    Oh Yeah, you can’t bitch until you’ve spent a night or 3 in the panhandle.

    Dixie: Home Sweet Home, there’s a reason I left 16 years ago. I’m at least 50 IQ points smarter and 300 lbs lighter because of it…and no bangs or acid wash jeans either.

  6. Chico's Bail Bonds

    I am tapping my foot and waiting patiently for the (I know soon coming) declaration that beautiful, beautiful Georgia is what makes the South worthwhile. Still waiting…

  7. homeimprovementninja

    I have driven through MS and AL too. They have shanties there! They, literally, have one-room wooden shacks with tin roofs on the road where real people live.

  8. Velvet

    Kelly Kyle – Please tell me you are a guy…somehow a girl in Wranglers with the skoal ring on the pocket doesn’t sit right with me.

    Patsy – You went back without me! DAMN YOU!

    Chud – Thankfully I only stopped for gas once. I had to get out of there quick.

    Barbara – I do love the Gulf of Mexico, it’s a shame that these states get most of that coastline.

    BBTY – I hit a major traffic jam right by your mom’s house as a matter of fact.

    Chico – Well, I lived in Atlanta. I find Georgia not nearly as offensive as the other states, mostly because Georgia has a real city with real normal suburbs, and that would be Atlanta.

    Ninja – I believe you. They probably have more shanties now due to the Hurricane. Natural disasters always hit places that deserve it anyway – trailer parks, shithole cities. You don’t see a tornado screaming down 14th street do you? No earthquake leveling NYC, right? Yeah.

  9. playfulinnc

    HOLY CRAP??? You’re back?

    Sorry. I’m a little slow.

  10. Johnny-D.C.

    Welcome back to the other armpit of the east coast… Washington DC.

    When I’m President I plan to convert it back to swamp.


  11. Phil

    What happened to Georgia?? Did you black out from the excitement?

    If Alabama is America’s armpit, then as Homer Simpson says, that makes Florida America’s wang.

  12. BBTY

    I am in love with Johnny DC. Where do i sign up to help with your campaign?

  13. Kelly Kyle

    I mean St. Peter will be wearing Wranglers…I’m a chick

  14. wave hope

    Born and raised in the South now I have an internet company in New York City. I still have a skoal ring and I miss the South. Atleast there what you see is what you get, here look out……………..

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