Truth be told, historically, I’ve been a pretty nice and accommodating person. Ask the friends. Recently, something finally switched over in my brain and I stopped tolerating the rudeness of acquaintances and strangers. My pet peeve is the ever rampant in Washington D.C. “I’m going to bud into your life because I can” attitude. An inordinate number of people here like to interject their two cents when I am not asking for it. I don’t recall this in any other place I’ve lived. But it really pisses me off.
The King of the Dogpark and I were walking our dogs down the street. I had my two dogs, plus the foster, Zoe, and he has his dog. We were passing a dead strip of grass that has recently become home to a brand spanking new sign “Please take your dog to the designated dog area.” Let’s pause for the irony – there IS NO designated dog area in D.C. And all the fucking yuppies have decided to plant flowers in the treeboxes and fence them in, which, last time I checked, was CITY property, not personal property. Since we have no formal allowed dog parks, I’m sorry, but where are they supposed to go? Any strip of grass, weeds, or leaves is prime pickings. I pick up after my dog, and that grass has been dead for YEARS. If they really don’t want dogs in there, screw the sign; build a fence.
So the four dogs are walking in various directions all across the sidewalk and I became aware of a woman approaching from behind who might want to get past us. I was being nice when I asked her, “Oh, sorry, are our dogs preventing you from getting by?” And she said, “No, I was just curious why there are signs that say they don’t want dogs here but the dogs are all over the grass.” I was trying to be nice in collecting dogs out of her way so her ass could get by and she has to be a bitch? Fine bitchy, have it your way.
So I said, “Oh, because the dogs can’t read.”
The King and I kept walking and he said, “I actually can’t believe you said that.” I said, “Yeah, neither can I.”
Usually I’m not that quick on the uptake. My comeback hits me anywhere from 4 hours to 48 days after an “incident.” I usually start apologizing and scrambling to comply with whatever crap a stranger shoots in my direction, but nope. Not anymore.