Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

And How Did YOU Celebrate the Birth of Baby Jesus?

Obviously, I have become the major suckage at posting. I can’t even promise to try to be better. I don’t wanna.   While blogging in general will never jump the shark, my own blog experience has probably lamed itself out so much so that it’s like one of those feeder fish swimming along the shark that has just been jumped. So, I feel that I’m in the homestretch. I’ll try to go out strong. And by going out strong, I mean, I’ll finish up all my drafts and prepare them for public consumption.


Mr. X: Baby? What was that video with the Grape Stomper we used to watch at work and laugh for hours over?

Velvet: Um, that thing they had on DC 101 that happened in Atlanta. Hold on. I’ll check Youtube.

I think that happened 11 years ago, though it just hit my radar in 2004.

We laughed for 10 minutes. Until I realized that there was a “related” video in the sidebar. So I clicked it.

HOW ON EARTH DID WE MISS THAT? Though to our credit, it did just air in November.

Best. Clip. Ever.


  1. anony mous

    You’re leaving? WTF!!! Those better be some damn good posts. I will definitely miss your snarky attitude and good stories. Made me laugh. Mr. X is very lucky. I’m jealous. Especially after you put up a pic of your legs. 🙂

  2. I-66

    Seriously, if I’m in the studio, they’d better not cut back to me because I’d be laughing my ass off unabashedly.

  3. Phil

    Yes, you know those two hosts immediately rushed to the nearest monitor to watch that again as soon as they cut to commercial.

  4. allezoop

    So fecking wrong, but that doesn’t keep me from laughing (and probably going to hell). Drinks soon. For serious. I have stories that include my niece (age 3) calling Teh Smitten to tell him that he’d left his peepee at her house. (Explanation of “peepee” below.)

  5. Velvet

    Anony mous – Thank you so much. Yes, Mr. X IS lucky. Ha ha. Though when I let that fart rip today in the car, I don’t think he felt very lucky when he was holding his head out the window in 37 degree weather. Hmm. Sort of kills the mystique a little, doesn’t it?

    I66 – For real, that chick was about to crack up. Why why why did they pan back to the studio? That was almost as funny as the grape lady eating it. I hoped they would take the Stewie parody that far, but no such luck.

    Phil – I’m sure you recall that, right? I moved to the ATL right after that happened, but funny, I never heard about it until my friends at DC 101 started playing it on air.

    Allezoop – Mmmm. Did you say pee pee? I like pee pees!!! Yes to drinks! I was telling Mr. X that teh smitten is the only one in three years of dating and writing a dating blog who was officially recommended to friends. “Five out of five Velvets approve.”

  6. LiLu

    When in doubt, a great video always makes for a damn good post. And this is double the fun!

  7. Phil

    I am practically never watching the local morning news, so I wouldn’t have seen it live, but it is a classic clip.

    Nice find on the Family Guy homage – I’d never seen that before.

  8. Laura

    Hey — boredom in blogging must mean extra happiness and fullness in life. Though I will miss “Velvet,” I wish you all the best. (Yeah, no humor in this comment but that way I can stand out from the pack. No, seriously, enjoyed the blog while it lasted.)

    Happy new year!

  9. Rockstar

    I must have missed these when they came out but watched them both 5 times when I got home tonight. I laughed harder after every view. I love how the field correspondent fucked herself up that bad but still has the presence of mind to tell the camera man to “Stop” and go back to the studio. Now THAT’S vanity. . . Family guy should have taken it further. . I agree. Still funnnnnnnyyyy.

    Today’s lesson kids. . . If you get seriously injured on national television and as a result of the excruciating pain make sounds like mating sea lions, you might end up as a family guy parody. I just hope that the news lady can still eat solid food and wipe her own ass. . . .

    One more thing.. . . This wine is delicious. . .

  10. Catherine

    OMG…I’ve not laughed that hard in so long. The kids were dying too!! Now my pregnant butt is sending this to all my friends..since I don’t know if any of us have seen it yet (we are a little late out here in Phoenix apparently!)

  11. Hammer

    Been a hell of a ride, hasn’t it? Go out swinging, kiddo. We expect nothing less.

  12. jkc

    haha, i remember watching that episode when it aired. i laughed my ass off and no one else in the room knew why….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2024 Velvet in Dupont

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑