You are crawling inside my heart. I have absolutely no idea how this is happening. After the last one who got inside, ever so briefly, I fired the guards, hired new ones, built a moat and added several man-eating alligators and crocodiles. I have a whole new security system in place, guarding all points of entry into the heart, and yet, there you are.
Friday, after the arrival of the crazy Velvet family was complete, you called while I was walking the loves of my life. I called back, got voicemail, and left a message assuming you were doing some heavy drinking after the week you just endured. You called back while I was in the hotel dropping Gloom and Doom Mom and Dad off for the first night of their two night stay. I answered your call – in front of my parents!!! I never do shit like that. I prefer to keep my life secret from them, and you know, just write it here on the blog for the rest of the world to see I suppose. Anyway, I told you I would call you back when I got home. And my brother said, “Nice smile on your face. Who was that? A boy?” I said, “Maybe.” My mom said, “Of course it was, look at her face.”
I could hardly contain myself waiting to be alone so I could call you back. I was jumping out of my skin.
Having a conversation with you when you were tipsy and I was painfully sober was soooooo fun. Do you remember asking me to go over to your house? I said, “I can’t, my brother is here.” You said that you were jealous of my brother for getting to spend time with me, and that you wanted me all for yourself. We talked about spending the upcoming weekend together, and you said, “Next Friday, and the Friday after that.” Damn. Damn damn damn.
Last night you said that cooking me dinner is on your list of things to do. You are too sweet. This just feels so good, and yet, I can’t help but think that the other shoe has to drop. It’s too good. You’re too good. I’ve had so many bad dates over the years. I’ve had so many crazy experiences with men. I’m not yet convinced that you won’t become yet another of those in a long list of failures, but I have hope. I have hope because you couldn’t possibly be this good at being someone I could see sticking around for a while.
Kisses and throwing caution to the wind,