Attacking Life with Comedic Jaws of Sarcasm. Recovering Dating & Relationship Blogger - Made it to Step 12 When I Got Married.

Sailing Away on the Crest of a Wave, It’s Like Magic

Last night I returned home with my bra stuck into the top of my jeans. I thought it was well hidden, but the combination of low rise jeans and a baby tee (Kitty’s Diner, Open 24 hours) created the perfect bra evacuation route. How embarrassing. It’s a bad idea for the bra to come home in a different place from where it originally exited the house.

The bra, a Victoria’s Secret number, almost fell into a puddle. That would have been a fabulous waste of $45…which leads me to think, Why do I pay $45 to hold my boobs up when plenty of men would do it for free?


  1. homeimprovementninja

    Victoria’s Secret? You should drape those lovely puppies in Aubade. Mmmmmmmm. Can’t show the man a Cartier watch without gift wrappin’ it proper! La Perla is okay too, but early on in a relationship, you should definitely start with the Aubade.

  2. AlieMalie

    I promise not to tell Mr Wheaties anything …

    On a completely different subject, you just totally made my day with the ELO line at the top. Maybe I’m just easily amused. Nevertheless, thanks.


  3. Velvet

    Aubade? HAHAHAHA! Shit son, I prefer to put my money in the bank, not outfitting two 36 C’s (some say D’s but I disagree…is it getting hard to breathe in here?) These girls have zero problem making a great escape and seeing action. Besides, when bras get ripped off as fast as yesterday, you really don’t want to hear the clink of all that expensive sewn-on-by-hand beading hitting the floor. And again, almost forgot it in a cab, almost dropped it in a puddle.

    Maybe I’ll put a pic of my breasts on the header of this blog….Tracy? Still with me? Still working on this site?

  4. homeimprovementninja

    “Maybe Ill put a pic of my breasts on the header of this blog.”

    [Three Weeks Later]

    Velvet: Why did traffic to my site suddenly double?


    I’ll take your word about the awesomeness of your gals. I haven’t seen them in real life…or on the not-safe-for-work sites that I’ve frequented, as far as I know.

  5. jamy

    Your secret is safe with me. Sounds like you’re having fun–yay!

  6. siryn

    Must be one of those Very Sexy numbers…. pretty and overpriced, but not compared to that other stuff ninja mentioned!!

  7. always write

    Now I’m so ashamed of my little cotton training bras… If I dropped one in a puddle, no worries at all — I’ve got three more just like it at home.

  8. Kayla

    Honey, didn’t I teach you to leave the bra in HIS jeans?!

  9. Washington Cube

    I was going to get into the education of Sexy Bras 401, but Home I’mprovement beat me to it. Victoria’s Secret? You’re still in the safety zone of fashion, as you seem well aware, in terms of $$$. You’re also still safe in making it home with the bra somewhere on your person. I agree with Kayla. It should have been in his jeans. I know your man friend is reading this, Velvet, and I am sure he thinks your female friends are all whack by this stage, so why hold back on our advice, right? Here’s some more fun stuff:

  10. Mr. BananaHammock

    He’s gay. It probably came off so fast because he wanted to try it on himself and run around singing “Amor Amor” a la Carmen Miranda. Was there fruit involved? Just sayin’…

  11. always write

    Cubie, you dirty dirty girl.

    Teach me everything you know.

  12. chicgirl

    butdoesnt he read your blog???

  13. cosmic shambles

    I think I’m going to be si… ummm, reading your blog until the panties come off.

  14. Velvet

    Cube. I so so so knew you were into BDSM. You’ve dropped the hints before. I picked up on all of them, however, you’ve never taken it further until now. Hey, I have a quarter cup bra, does that count? Just can’t get past the whole nipple not being covered thing though.

    Chic Girl – it was a joke. And yes, he reads. But I’m an open book, and frankly, I don’t care anymore! I’m turning over a new bra, uh, leaf.

    Cosmic – Stop that!

  15. I-66

    hm… so that Cube link is probably NSFW huh?

  16. Sparkles Anonymous

    Oh Cube. CUBE! You’ve been holding out on me!! WHY did you not share that link before?! For shame.

    (But thanks! Got it bookmarked.) 😉

  17. Sweet

    Here’s the ‘it was so great meeting you’ comment. But really last night was a blast. Queens, bloggers and bingo — doesn’t get much better!

  18. Washington Cube

    It’s just pretty lingerie, I-66…but with a twist.

  19. Kayla

    Oh, WC is my hero!! I am with Sparkles Anon, I am bookmarking that link!!

  20. CrazyGirl

    $45……..hmmm that wouldn’t happen to be the VS Ipex would it?

  21. Drunken Chud

    ok, if any girl ever wore any of that shit for me… she’d have me at hello. thanks cube.

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